Primary school have requested younger siblings don't go to parents evening

[Soyamilkisniceintea]

Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis.

AIBU to think it's a bit unfair?

It's not a matter of "needing", as your problem was:
"Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis."

But if you don't want any solutions to your problems, then I really don't know what you mean.

Unless what you really wanted was a family trip to the school. :)

Simply that I feel it's a bit unfair to be placed in a situation where I will find it difficult to attend, and then have a tone of rebuke about not attending. Just a whinge really :) After all, I'm not a particularly stupid person and therefore can work out that i could consider a babysitter and so on :)

Now, if anyone can tell me why my smart TV is thick, that would be grand :)

If your children are too difficult for one of the many childcare options available then they certainly are too difficult to be at an appointment.

Sorry OP but it really isn't the schools fault. Maybe you could try to find someone that they can get used to for an occasional babysit? Be that a professional, neighbour, classmates parent or family member? Maybe you stay in the same house a couple of times and then take short trips out to get them used to it?

It really is unusual that nobody can take care of ghe kids except for mum and dad. If somethong happens to you then it would mean extra stress for you so please try to find a solution for your own piece of mind.

They aren't difficult.

I think there is an undertone of ooh not a good parent if you don't attend, and I do think it us a barrier to home / school communication. There are lots of us that have several children and to foister them on another parent is possibly a bit much.
I can see why you don't find the suggestions acceptable - I've not found them to work on the whole for me either. It's easier now they are older. Interestingly mine insist on the child being there at secondary, when perhaps I'd like a chat without them!

Thanks, head :)

Op, I don't get it. Why don't you sort out childcare?

I have no childcare, Chinny :)

Octopus, I can honestly say that in those three schools, no toddler or baby was such a distraction that what needed to be said and listened to wasn't. In two of the schools, PE were in our own classrooms and in the third, all teachers at tables in the hall. In the schools where we held them in our classes, I had things for toddlers should they be brought in and in the hall there was enough other noise, toddler babbling a wouldn't stand out. Nothing particularly important or new should be brought up at PE so there was never a huge pressure.

Again, schools should be making as much effort as possible to encourage parents in rather than create difficulties.

School won't rebuke you for not going if your DH goes ffs. They don't care which of you goes, only that one of you does.

Yes, but if DH is at work and can't go, and I have to stay at home with the younger ones, then neither of us can go, which I have explained.

Op, you're sounding vague to me. Your DH is going and then you tell us you want to go too but can't bring child. Ok fine stay home then. Then you tell us you want to go too. Ok fine, sort out your childcare then. Then you imply that that's not possible without a reason given. You say your kids aren't difficult so I don't understand why. Now your implying that the school wants you there. Ok fine, let DH take care of the kids then.

I don't understand the problem. Your posts come across as you being very difficult. I don't think you mean it that way otherwise you wouldn't have posted but the way your posts read I really don't get it. I hope you can find th e best solution for you.

One parent will attend. That's enough for the school.

And if neither can attend, then they'll be able to book another day, surely.

Mountain - molehill.

I love it when people post goady threads and then act all wide eyed "but no ones forcing you to post, why don't you just ignore me?" Why don't you stop starting these goady threads or at least stop name changing if you're intent on repeatedly posting like this - so people actually can ignore you?

People like me post on your threads as you name change, start a new seemingly innocuous thread and we don't realise until you start yes butting or drip feeding, (interestingly usually the same stuff that then leads people to realise you have form). I would bloody love not to have my time wasted by people like this, but until MN introduce a Hide Poster function or until people can't re-register after being banned, or can't name change, there's not much I can do, tbh.

There is no way on earth a secondary school teacher would either be surprised by the fact they may sometimes need childcare for young children or be completely unable to get childcare, ever. It just doesn't stack up at all.

What we do have is a hide thread button though and I will use it.

Yes, I probably do sound vague, I am multi tasking.

With that being said, it's not really as complex as you are trying to make it out to be.

The school have made it clear that in their humble opinion, parental attendance at PE is vital. However, toddlers are not permitted.

Therefore, not only does this mean I can't really attend at all, it also means that should DHs work require him to be there, neither of us will be able to.

It's a shame you read my posts as difficult, others have understood the problem. Yours come across a little irritable and unpleasant, which I'm sure you don't intend, so it really goes to show how the written word can be misconstrued doesn't it?

If you really can't make it, can you not perhaps arrange another time that's more suitable to have a quick chat with the teacher? Maybe straight after school, while another parent looks after your little ones for 10 minutes. Primary here expect younger siblings to stay outside the classroom, but the child who's teacher it is is expected to go in with you and join in the discussion!

Soya if your DH is only able to take time off work then the fact that he wants to attend instead of you is between you and him, not the schools fault...

If my school made this "request" I would just turn up with younger child anyway, with some small activity to hopefully keep them amused for 10 minutes.

It's not a goady thread. Moany one, maybe :)

I also wish we had a Hide Poster option. It would solve a few problems, wouldn't it? :) But we can sort of use our own discretion and not post on threads that we think will annoy us.

Of course, I'm not surprised I have to find childcare. But it has always been my experience that younger children end up coming along to events like school plays, parents evening and so on. I/we don't have anybody who can provide childcare outside of anti social hours and so things like this are difficult.

Surely if you have much to say to the teacher beyond " is he doing ok" or they have much to say beyond " he's doing ok but could work on x and y at home " then you book a one to one meeting with every other parent earwigging don't you ?

I can just see the night mare of a PTA run crèche. All the risk assessments DBS and protocols !

When you say unfair, you mean it's inconvenient for you

But I tell you what is unfair is another parents' time (which is equally valued as yours) with the teacher being drowned out, interrupted and generally disrupted by other people's toddlers

How unruly do some of you think toddlers are?!

Mine aren't too bad to be fair but I do understand the difficulties faced. I just feel it might be better to scrap PE altogether and arrange appointments to discuss progress on an as and when basis than arrange PE, make it difficult to attend PE and then get irate and terse when parents don't attend PE!