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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school have requested younger siblings don't go to parents evening

366 replies

Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:01

Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis.

AIBU to think it's a bit unfair?

OP posts:
Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 18:01

Ms

DH may be at work. In which case neither of us will go.

Buttery

Doable for you doesn't mean doable for me :)

OP posts:
MSLehrerin · 03/05/2017 18:03

Whatever 🙄

Dlpdep · 03/05/2017 18:13

What happened here is that the OP's husband used to take they time off for the PE. The OP decided that this year, he didn't have to as she would bring the kids along. The school put paid to that idea. The OP told the husband who got rightly pissed off, as he could have organised the time off earlier but as it's so close to the time now, it's more difficult. And what's more, if he does get the time off, he is bloody well going himself. The OP is licking her wounds and projecting her issues on to the school on the grounds that they are being discriminatory, to single parents, to parents with young children, to parents who have pissed off their partners and has come to the conclusion that PEs should be scrapped altogether.

I think your options are to either print off the thread and show it to the school head or LTB.

If you are looking to kill the thread, the easiest manner to do so is simply to stop posting. I hope you don't though. I'm glued to it, and dying to see what the next response is. Smile

Notenoughtime123 · 03/05/2017 18:18

I find it odd that it's usually the primary school that requests this. I've taken my baby or toddler to yr 10/11/12 parents evening and that's not easy but manageable as my husband was away two years and we had no-one to have my youngest. It was that or not attend.

SomethingBorrowed · 03/05/2017 18:26

Dlpdep you nailed it

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 18:36

No, that's not it dip

OP posts:
MSLehrerin · 03/05/2017 18:38

I think the consensus of opinion now OP is either suck it up or don't go. You're being obtuse. Are you a teacher? Recognise your username somehow...

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 18:39

Not currently teaching but trained as one. It's fine if I don't go, but then it's surely reasonable to be mildly miffed that the school are irate because no one is going :)

OP posts:
MSLehrerin · 03/05/2017 18:42

I'm sure the school will have a perfectly acceptable number of attendees. Thought you were a teacher. Hope you're not as obtuse and awkward in the classroom or as a colleague 😕

paxillin · 03/05/2017 18:43

OP: This thing happened to me, it's not fair!
Most others: Completely normal, we all have to do it, here are 8 ways to deal with it.
OP: Well, easy for you to say, they don't work in my perfectly ordinary situation.

Butterymuffin · 03/05/2017 18:44

Nothing's doable for you OP Smile other than complaining Smile

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 18:45

Actually, it's not me who has been obtuse or awkward Ms :)

Very selective reading of the thread there, pax . Luckily, I can read :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 18:45

In this particular instance you're right buttery

OP posts:
MSLehrerin · 03/05/2017 18:59

Ermmm yes you are. For the reasons I and many others have mentioned. Get up off your knees.

Quickieat2 · 03/05/2017 19:24

Book two separate appointments with the teacher. One for you and a seperate one for your husband

SomethingBorrowed · 03/05/2017 19:26

OP i just thought about something unconventional: you DH goes and calls you on speaker during the 5min talk. What about that?

debbs77 · 03/05/2017 19:28

I'm a single mum with no help. Luckily my school don't have this rule! Although it is mega stressful

RortyCrankle · 03/05/2017 19:32

Soyamilkisniceintea
so I would feel a bit bad forcing someone else to mind a squirming raging ball of unimpressed toddler grin

Isn't this the precise reason why they don't want younger siblings to be there?

Also if one parent goes surely they can tell the other the content of the meeting? Speech hasn't yet been completely taken over by text.

Pixiebearbo · 03/05/2017 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleDaisies · 03/05/2017 20:40

Is that supposed to be a new thread pixie?

peanutpumpkin · 03/05/2017 21:09

I have 4 kids, dp works away during the week and always has done since they were little, I don't have any parents to help, I don't have close friends to help out.

For me (and lots of others I know) its not normal to have parents / partners around to help.

Just because it's normal for you to have a dp who comes home at night, parents / family around the corner it doesn't mean thats the situation for everyone.

And actually, the parents who are juggling children on their own are the ones who need to know what's going on at school so they can help their kids out, keeping them in the dark is detrimental to the child's education and to the family as a whole.

Th OP is right, whatever her reasons for posting, it discriminates against people who just have to get on with looking after the kids with no one to help.

thatdearoctopus · 03/05/2017 21:12

Ffs, STOP SUGGESTING SEPARATE APPOINTMENTS!!!!!

I've now said that three times.

field10 · 03/05/2017 21:31

We have to take our 3 year old with us to PE, and sometimes it is hard but usually my daughter is content to sis and draw on the desk white boards rub it of and start again. They now have an after school club and depending who is running it they let her play with them.

We have no support network local so both kids have to go to everything the other does, which can be boring but we always take something to occupy the youngest.

They shouldn't demand you not take them because it will some from going altogether. They should work with parents and help out it isn't hard to put colouring things out and few toys.

iMogster · 03/05/2017 22:23

Our school doesn't allow children at Parents evening, my DH stays at work and only I go. I have no local family. I juggle it with a friend on the night. It's a PITA but doable.

StarUtopia · 03/05/2017 22:43

What's wrong with sorting out a babysitter?! Genuinely baffled at this.

It's your child. You both want to be there. You have other kids you can't take. Sort out childcare. Enough notice surely?

As a fellow parent who has paid out for paid childcare, I don't want to hear and be distracted by other peoples kids at parents evenings!