To be amazed my husband didn't ask the doctor?

[DrSeuss]

If your five year old had to have a minor operation which is sometimes done under general a aesthetic and sometimes local, and husband went to the hospital to discuss this today, would you expect him to know which form of anaesthetic will be used? Apparently, despite me clearly reminding him to ask, he has no idea! Seemed a fairly basic question to me. Would be handy to know if she has to fast or not, how much time I should ask for as LOA etc, don't you think? I couldn't get the time off today but thought a man with advanced post grad qualifications might be able to handle this. Makes me realize that I have to be the one to accompany my child if I want anything sorted out.
Unlike my MIL, I do not find male inefficiency cute or endearing, just infuriating! Yes, we can ring and ask but surely it's a basic question to ask and which I thought I'd made clear he should ask. To top it all, he left DD's tube of eczema cream in the middle of the bathroom floor and someone trod on it!

Yanbu

My DH is a bit like this. I think it's because he thinks the information is irrelevant so he forgets to ask or simply doesn't ask/remember.

He knows now to just bloody ask otherwise I get upset. I wouldn't let him get away with not going which is probably his hope

We all need to let them take these types of tasks on and let them learn from their mistakes by letting them correct the consequences. Ideally. Because so many of us takeover and sort it out, there is no incentive to learn. Easier said than done of course. If only OP could leave the whole op to him, from the clinic to pre-op and let him take time off to go for the procedure and do recovery.

As I posted previously, that's what I though until I tried it with my dad Deejoda when I had to work with him, and it made no difference whatsoever.

I'm not sure you can rewire people retrospectively.

Thought not though.

I think it's because he thinks the information is irrelevant so he forgets to ask or simply doesn't ask/remember.

Yes, and the question for me is, does he think it's irrelevant because men and women have a different view on what kind of info is important; or is it irrelevant to him because it's not his job to retain data about children/domestic life.

Would he have retained it if it was his own operation?

Diemme
The sexism on this thread is vile. I genuinely don't get it, how can you talk about men in a way that would be totally indefensible for men to talk about women?

There is some bizarre generalising/stereotyping going on. There are various reasons why patients/parents might not come away with clear information from an appointment (e.g. quality/delivery of information from medical professions; patients/parents being distracted, stressed etc and not absorbing information or asking pertinent questions).

The subject of which anaesthetic to use was initially raised when the OP was present, so she presumably had an opportunity to clarify what was likely to happen at that point.

medical professionals

deejoda..i re-wired my exdh..i was classic case of taking over due to his learned incompetence..one day i realised i was going to go mad if icarried on , and i was just so angry and resentful all the time.
i stopped sorting stuff out, refused to look for things he 'couldn't ' find and if he had done what OP's dh did i would have said

' well you need to know what anesthetic it is...i suggest you find out' and then smiled and walked away

he became extreamly competent at all domestic/family and child related tasks..took a year or two but worked...infact he now makes a wonderful partner to his new DP.

his behaviour wasnt the reason we split up btw

redjelly thank you for giving me hope

You are normally given written instructions either way. Why don't you ring the relevant department instead of wasting your time having a fit with your leg up on Mumsnet? Really I do despair.
Your child is the one who is having the procedure so it the information which is important not how stupid you think your DH

I'm with you, OP. You reminded him. He forgot.