to be unaware I needed my husband's permission to travel with kids?

[SidekickSally]

I've just come back from a weekend in Amsterdam with my 2 DDs, both under 16. We wanted to see some museums and my DH isn't keen so we went with my mum instead. At Amsterdam airport I was asked alot of questions by passport control and the guy said I needed written permission from DH to take my kids away without him. He was asking "how do I know your husband has given you permission to take the children without him". He accepted my return tickets as proof in the end but said next time get written proof.

I can see why he was asking and that this could be an issue but it never occured to me. What do lone parents do? What kind of permission is accepted? Surely a letter could be faked too. Seems a bit of over kill, or is it? Just be interested to hear from others about whether this is usual or unusual.

For South Africa now this is vital. You're not allowed to fly there unless you can show letter (signed by professional person) plus birth certificate. Since about 18months ago I think. Even when dh and I both fly with our dc, you need to show birth certificates with passport.

I am in the US and DH and I quite often take the DC back to see family in the UK without the other parent. We always take a letter with us giving permission for whoever is with the children to take them out of the country. We get asked for the letter about one out of eight times travelling. I think one TSA guy wasn't impressed with the letter until DH pointed out that he was actually taking DD back into her country of residence and then he let them through.

Same with the USA. Friend has just had to get a court order because her ass of an Ex refused to give permission, even though he hasn't seen said child since she was 6 months old.

Xpost!

The whole situation around this law is bollocks. In practice it is never applied unless another party with PR makes a complaint to the police that their child has been taken away without their permission.
You can get a letter from your ex but there is no requirement for it to be notarised so it could be total fraud.
I wrote XH a letter one time he took DS and still got a phone call from border police because 'the letter could have been written by anyone' well since you got 'my' phone number from the ex I could also be anyone couldn't I?
I've never been asked for a letter but I do carry the birth certificate because we don't share a surname. However last time I forgot and the man just asked DS who I was - no issue.
I wouldn't mind if the law was applied consistently and in a way that made sense but practically that's impossible so they should just accept they can't enforce it and stop being irritating twats for no reason imo.

The only place I have ever been challenged is Newcastle Airport.

DD and I have different surnames and although she has a British passport was born abroad as we were living abroad at the time.

I was asked what my relationship to her was and, to be fair the woman on the desk apologised for asking but said she had to!

They are very hot on this in The Netherlands. I was stopped flying home with DD when she was about 4 months (my mum lived there at the time). We have the same surname and her passport says she was born in London (where we were going). I did have a letter from DH luckily but I still hot asked a lot of questions.

What would I do I such a situation?
Lone parent, father is not on DS's BC.
Me and DS obvs have same surname

Sorry *in

And total NC with biological father

We've been to Holland a few times. No issues at passport control.

Oh shit! What about between UK/Spain? I'm bringing DS across (S-->UK) in June...

Better start getting letters notarized etc. DS does have both our surnames, hope that helps!

Holland is very very strict on this, and I have also been asked several times on returning to the UK when traveling alone with my DC who do not share my last name. Apparently parental abduction is a real issue. I always have birth cerificates to show name and since last year have also used a letter signed by DH (and when he travels with them I have signed letter. Templates available online. Home Office web site also recommends the letter by the way. It's a pain, but I guess better this than someone losing their children.

As pp have said, yes it is a legal requirement. I've never been asked for any paperwork when travelling with my kids (different surname) but exh was very arsey when I first asked him to take them away so I ended up in court for a Residence Order. I now always carry a copy of this, birth and marriage certs and divorce decree just in case. Have seen people being questioned both on entry and exit to the UK and USA.

Just get a quick letter done, not worth the hassle and panic.

I can't believe so many single parents don't know about this!!

How does the letter prove anything though? I could type a letter out, print it and sign it with my DPs name - how would they know if it was his real signature or whether he had actually signed it.

Decs you tell them you are the only person with PR and carry the birth cert to prove it. They cannot prove otherwise (although technically there could be several people with PR granted through court order at any point in the child's life)

Quinto I don't know about Spain and airports but I've sauntered through the Spain Gibraltar border with DS several times recently to supremely uninterested looks from border control, both Spanish and Gibraltan

They are very strict here in the Netherlands as there have been many instance s of international parental abduction. It's a huge headache for the government when it happens and of course the human cost is incalculable.

The surname of your child is neither here nor there, they don't doubt you're the parent, they want to know whether you're intending to keep the child from its other parent without permission.

Recent-ish example www.amberalert.eu/dutch-police-abducted-girl-germany/

Well exactly gavel
Nothing is applied with any logic or consistency

I could type a letter out, print it and sign it with my DPs name

This. Plus many parents don't even get married so the only certificate is a birth certificate.

I have always wondered this as I have a different surname from DP and the DC, who all have the same surname, and he has PR. I was planning to take their birth certificates if we ever travel alone, wouldn't that mean more? Also if I was travelling with them, how would they know is if their was a man out there with PR for older children?

How odd, I travel on my own with the DC (under 16) to Holland once or twice a year, and have never needed a letter (our surnames are different, and our passports different nationalities)

Have I just been lucky? Or is,this a new thing?

You don't need other parents permission if you think that they wouldn't have objected to them going if they knew. Or something like that, so I was told.

Also this kind of crap happens. It's horrible. www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/03/mother-abducts-dutch-children-isil-held-syrian-city-150316095640522.html

I've had very polite German border guard advise me to bring birth and marriage certificate"next time" when travelling without husband. I have a different surname to Dh and DS altho DS does hv my name as his middle name. Agree with Gavel that the law seems very unclear.

Weirdly only got asked when I brought my daughter back to the UK (actually at UK airport) after visiting Germany. Luckily I had the letter and birth certificate.
I do see why there are the rules and appreciate in many circumstances it's beneficial but ExP has PR but is an absolute asshat and expects things in return for doing decent things like allowing me to take DD on holiday.