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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's rude to asking how much it costs?

299 replies

Hauntedbytheghostofyou · 01/05/2017 13:42

I've had cosmetic surgery and it's something very noticeable. I'm very open with it but I'm sick of the first question being - how much did it cost??

Aibu? It's none of anyone's business

OP posts:

FrenchLavender · 03/05/2017 05:25

I disagree that the OP is getting an unnecessarily harsh time. Wanting to keep the nature of her 'very obvious and very rare' surgery a secret is her prerogative.

But to then offer to share it with anyone who PMs her while warning others against PMing one another with the information is attention seeking, controlling and frankly ridiculous. It's just ramping up a load of drama and interest for the sake of it.

I now couldn't give a stuff if she's had a third tit attached to her forehead. If it's that rare then it's probably something quite ridiculous anyway. There will be a reason why only 100 have had it or would want it.

WinBigly · 03/05/2017 07:05

I think it's interesting that - whatever it is you've had done - nobody appears to have asked you "how much did it cost" we've all been so distracted trying to work out the procedure

For the record, if I'd seen your "obvious" surgery I'd have asked about the pain levels, not the hit you took on your credit card. I may have said "was it expensive" but wouldn't have expected you to state the actual cost.

JanKind · 03/05/2017 07:55

I suspect that they were working out if they could afford to do it. Don't take it personally if you were being open then continue to be so or don't be open at all. You can't have it both ways.

Ineke · 03/05/2017 10:36

I only got to page 10 of this thread before I had to post. OP, what made me post was you saying that you thought that the majority of people were superior to you. This got my sap rising, you have as you have said been bullied in the past which is why you had this procedure done. I am glad that it has helped and given you confidence. Please never think that other people are superior to you because no one in the world is. You are you, you be the best you can be. No person is inferior to another.💐
On the post you started, if it was relevant to me and something I wanted to do, I would ask for the price if you didn't mind sharing. It would not be to criticise, but just for information. I don't need to know, so would not ask. However, you have started a guessing game here. Although I have an idea of what you may have had and can understand why you would not wish it broadcast you have rather made people intrigued.
I see no reason though for the nasty comments. Not good.

natjojo · 03/05/2017 12:29

A simple come back is "why do you need to know?"

3luckystars · 03/05/2017 12:42

Also I have another friend, she points at me and said to me 'you've lost weight!'
And I said 'yes I have, maybe a few pounds'
She said 'how many pounds?'
I just said 'I'm not sure the exact figure' I was mortified!

Some people are very forward aren't they? I would be so embarrassed if I put someone on the spot like that.

I'd love to get a new kitchen but am nearly afraid to because of these people asking me how much it cost! There must be a polite way to avoid answering!

Genius46 · 03/05/2017 15:00

I paid £1600 for 4 front teeth. Some were cracked before, great after.

Doesitfit88 · 03/05/2017 15:46

I think it's dimples (for cheeks on your face)

BreezyThursday · 03/05/2017 16:16

If someone had a boob job or nose job or liposuction etc. I don't think I'd be curious as to cost unless I was interested in having the same thing done private - those are common procedures and it's understandable why many have them done.
However, if this procedure is so rare, yet obvious (and presumably something that must have been done privately), I can only assume it's something a bit 'out there' or frivolous so would wonder how much someone paid for something so unusual...

Gwenhwyfar · 03/05/2017 16:39

"A simple come back is "why do you need to know?"

And they will answer 'because I'm interested/curious'.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/05/2017 16:40

"I just said 'I'm not sure the exact figure' I was mortified!"

What's mortifying about that? If you've lost a lot of weight you want to celebrate is surely?

Ineke · 03/05/2017 16:44

Breezy Thursday... I don't think the OP had any thing frivolous. She said she had suffered from years of bullying and crippling self-consciousness and that her surgery gave her new confidence. Must have been important for her and as it was a rare procedure, perhaps her condition for which she was bullied and made her feel inferior to everyone was also a rare condition. She would not have been bullied surely for not having dimples in her cheeks.

coragreta · 03/05/2017 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

3luckystars · 03/05/2017 18:00

It was about 4lbs. Not a lot of weight, but she wanted to know the exact amount!
I just get really embarrassed when people put me on the spot that makes me look boasty. It's me that's wrong probably. I get embarrassed when someone does it to me.

eletralambchop · 03/05/2017 18:28

I think the question should be "who's your doctor" so people could run away from him/her?

Cosmetic surgery is a procedure where the better the doctor/more expensive the more natural it will look, maybe not even noticeable.

SmhShakingMyHead · 03/05/2017 18:41

Cosmetic surgery is a procedure where the better the doctor/more expensive the more natural it will look, maybe not even noticeable.

Not necessarily. If I went from an A cup to a DD then even if I had the best surgeon in the world most people would notice.

Anyway your comment was really nasty and there's just no need.

BreezyThursday · 03/05/2017 19:35

Ineke: I didn't mean offence.
I guess OP could have had something like a mole removed or bags done young (didn't know that was a thing!), but, whilst obvious, they don't strike me as things that would be rare.
I also reckon that it's almost one of those things that's a bit awkward to know what to say, so cost - and we do tend to think of rich celebrities having plastic surgery - is something which easily comes to mind.

Thingamajiggy · 03/05/2017 21:22

So how much did it cost then??! Why should people not ask that?

Summerisdone · 03/05/2017 21:48

Some may be asking the question because they're interested in the possibility of surgery themselves. When people I know have had breast implants I always ask how much it cost, that's because I'd also like to get my boobs done and not because I'm being nosey.
I get that this will not be the case for everyone though and some people are just being nosey fuckers.

SwimmingInTheDeepBlueSea · 04/05/2017 14:22

Well, next time just say "not as much as I expected actually, I saved up last year, I can give you their number if you're interested?", and then change the subject.

^this

I do think most people are just intrigued, especially if it's unusual. However if you don't want the to ask just state the above. Then if they were rude enough to still press, you can just say "did you mean to be so rude.

3luckystars · 04/05/2017 22:02

That's a good one, ' I'll give you their number if you are interested!'
I'm going to try that one. Thank you.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/05/2017 19:50

"if they were rude enough to still press, you can just say "did you mean to be so rude."

That would be silly because it's not a rude question and OP would look like a fool.

SwimmingInTheDeepBlueSea · 05/05/2017 22:21

Gwen it is rude if she gives an answer that is polite but makes it clear she doesn't want to discuss an actual cost and then the person still presses for a figure on what is something very personal. Surely anyone can understand how rude that is?

Gwenhwyfar · 06/05/2017 10:35

Well I can't Swimming, but then I don't agree with the MN thing of 'you can't talk to me about anything but the weather'.

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