To think breastfeeding has made no difference to my dd and is massively overrated in terms of benefits?

[Placeanditspatrons]

I've nearly driven myself to a breakdown feeding my dd. She is 16 months now and I'm still feeding. She has been ill more times and worse than my formula fed from four months son. She does not recover any faster and she catches anything I get and gets it worse, despite supppsedly the antibodies passing to her and either preventing or reducing the severity of the illness.

I know it's anecdotal and the studies say overall bf babies are healthier but how much healthier? I mean I we talking one less cold? One less ear injection? Statistically? Many of my friends have said similar. Again anecdotal but I can't help wondering - after the colostrum which is more important I guess - does it really make any noticeable difference?

And those are all specific groups for breast feeding mothers only?

Blimey.

But actually, making up bottles is something that you can be shown online or from a a book. If the baby groups are excluding bottle feeders then that is completely outrageous.

Baby cafes - 'branded' BF support groups with this name - sometimes have guidance about use of formula in the groups. I know of no other BF or baby groups that do this, still less 'ban' bottles.

Some baby groups run by hcps may have rules about demo'ing making up formula or they may not have the facilities. Anyone who needs help with this should be able to ask any midwife or Hv for verbal guidance though - but yes, this is something where online info with videos if people find it easier to see than read really is easy to access.

itsmine, online support is limited - but it has value, no doubt about that.

For much to do with feeding - BF, FF or mixed- you need a dialogue. You also need to see the baby and observe a feed in many instances. You can also be helped by having friends and groups who welcome and share a listening ear - in real life. It's not always a question of problem solving or trouble shooting - in fact often it is more about empowerment and confidence and explaining.

I am surprised anyone would think all of this is not important or it can be replaced by the web.

BertrandRussell, yeah they aren't baby cafe's or baby groups. They are all specific breastfeeding support groups.

And whilst I agree, that I can get the technical information I need from a book what I can't get from that is practical support and friendship. Presumably, whilst talking about boob feeding, they also get support on general parenting, sleeping, coping with crying etc, and make friends at the same time. Whilst I could go to toddler groups, and there will be others I can talk to, they aren't geared for supporting brand new parents in the same way the breastfeeding support groups are.

Maybe they would be ok with a bottle feeder attending, but it would take a pretty brave woman to try. I'm not exactly shy, but I would feel uncomfortable attending because its clearly not meant for me. Its like going along to a mens club as a woman - you may be able to do so, but its unlikely you'll truly be as welcome or a part of it.

I'm not anti these groups, I just wish there were a few in the local area designed to support new parents, rather than just breastfeeding. If there are, they are very, very well hidden, compared with the widely advertised breastfeeding groups. Exhausted new parents shouldn't have to search for hidden groups, well it just won't happen will it?

I think it is a bit unreasonable to expect anyone to get all the help and support they need with infant feeding online.

However, particularly with BF there are times when it is absolutely essential that the baby is seen, that the feeding is seen, that the mother is seen.

One of the reasons why formula is so essential is that it is not as complicated. FF en masse made TT irrelevant for example. That doesn't mean women with TT babies who are struggling should give formula if they want to breastfeed.

The consequences of crap support with pg/feeding/all aspects of childcare are negative health outcomes. Online support and a lack of F2F support directly contributed to my babies FTT as BF online just told me to keep feeding and ignore weight, there was no F2F support to check babies, no HV (just a nursery nurse) so the reason they weren't getting enough milk wasn't investigated etc

I think your area is unique, greyelephant-you must have a particularly energetic NCT branch or something.

BertrandRussell I really don't think it is!
I've just done a search for Bristol, which I lived in a long time ago. The first result on google opens a document listing bf support groups. 17 are listed.

9 of those specifically are for breastfeeding support, the other 8 are general new parents/'feeding' groups, which mention that they have a midwife & peer supporters present for bf support.

There is a huge amount of physical support available.

There used to be a few bf support groups in my area, but as the children's centres have now shut so have they.
And while they were good, a lot of new mums who tried to bf in the first weeks who needed support didn't access these groups due to a lot of reasons like pain from child birth,time,finding it hard to get out the house ect.
And it's the first few weeks that are important, no good these groups if after 6 weeks you haven't been able to get to them.
Internet not everyone can get on with it, or have the time.
So midwifes and hv are extremely important in the first months.
Also no one should be making a mother feel bad in what ever way they choose to feed their baby, I have had to use formula to feed two of my children due to allergies.
And I'm currently bf my 15 month old still.
I would never judge any parent on how they feed there baby, we should all be supporting each other.

I had quick look at Bristol. The bf groups are all over the city and about an hour a week............!

Lots of places to get support with bf when I had my now 4 year old, but it was a case if it's Tuesday it's in the east, thurs in the north etc. Post c-section (and post paternity leave) this meant I couldn't drive to them or be driven. The buses also were refusing to allow now foldable (i.e. newborn!) prams at this time and a sling felt too scary with a little baby. Sheer obstinacy is the only reason I kept going with the bfing.

I had amazing support when trying to breastfeed although you are right that being mobile helps. Most days of the week there was a breastfeeding group I could go to. I also had help at home from my health visitor and on top of that accessed help through the NCT in my own home. I also accessed donor milk and given help with expressing and a feeding tube to mimic breastfeeding. Unfortunately ill health meant that I had to admit defeat but there were people to help me every step of the way

For the OP

My DD is in Year 5.
Despite being the youngest in her class, she recently achieved best test results for her class.
She is tall, slim and has no allergies.

She was entirely formula fed.

Hope that helps :)

Tw1nset, ill health here to. I had none of what you had. Just sneery midwives and forgotten appointments from health visitors.

That is awful radishal we did not realise it was ill health for a long time - I have cancer . At the time it was very confusing.

The breastfeeding group actually helped me accept that I couldn't breastfeed and helped me move my son into formula without the guilt. I continued at attend the groups whilst giving formula and it was made very clear that I was welcome and needed support.

I guess it is just down to the staff or volunteers

Tw1n , so sorry you've been poorly especially at such a challenging time. Hope you are doing better now. Feel uncomfortable saying you have been lucky but your experience with bf is better than the vast majority who struggle if MN is anything to go by.

It's fairly typical for women in my area. I guess it is just a postcode lottery. I am very lucky in lots of ways

Breast feeding is not necessary. I do not believe the statistics. The statistics align with middle-class people, who tend to breast-feed more, but all in all richer people have better health statistics. I suggest you give her some vitamins, and have a life!

Why does the OP need to give vitamins if she stops breastfeeding, and breastfeeding makes no difference, urkidding? Genuine question. She is probably already giving vit d at least- do you think she should give more? Do you base this advice on statistics?

Also read 'Undercover Economist'!

The child may not be getting enough vitamins, as she is ill all the time, and the vitamins will help to increase immunity.

Also a sick child may eat less.