To think breastfeeding has made no difference to my dd and is massively overrated in terms of benefits?

[Placeanditspatrons]

I've nearly driven myself to a breakdown feeding my dd. She is 16 months now and I'm still feeding. She has been ill more times and worse than my formula fed from four months son. She does not recover any faster and she catches anything I get and gets it worse, despite supppsedly the antibodies passing to her and either preventing or reducing the severity of the illness.

I know it's anecdotal and the studies say overall bf babies are healthier but how much healthier? I mean I we talking one less cold? One less ear injection? Statistically? Many of my friends have said similar. Again anecdotal but I can't help wondering - after the colostrum which is more important I guess - does it really make any noticeable difference?

It's been a long time since I breastfed but I remember how challenging it can be. I do recall reading lots about it and I'm pretty sure the experts concluded that once children were on a full varied solid diet the type of milk they are supplemented with didn't make much difference, so continuing to breastfeed after about 12 months was pointless (only talking from a nutritional point of view, clearly plenty of people carry on for much longer)

It's a population benefit, not an individual benefit.

But if it makes you unhappy then stop.

However, I really think what is overplayed is the pressure put on women to breastfeed. In my experience and observation, there is far more pressure not to, and an expectation that women are more likely than not not to be able to. Bottle feeding is most definitely the norm. Even on here, people only have to post asking for advice on bf to have a couple of posters offering support and encouragement, but the vast majority saying that it's fine to give up, and listing the benefits of formula. It's a very pro formula forum.

Don't drive yourself to near breakdown breastfeeding. Either explore ways to make it easier on yourself (if you haven't already), or cut down/ stop. Your daughter will have received lots of beneficial substances from your breastfeeding already, if you do choose to stop. Sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time.

Your sample size of 2 kids isn't as statistically meaningful as the large studies.

You'd need to compare how your bf daughter compares to your daughter if she was ff, rather than your ff son, as of course they are different people with different genetics and environments.

I think I read somewhere that for every one breastfed child with an ear infection, four non breastfed children will have ear infections. Which may not sound massive, but ear infections fucking hurt, so as the baby I'd be happy to avoid getting one.
Not sure about the numbers for other conditions.

This thread will turn into a huge bunfight, but it's worth recognising that all the major healthcare bodies (WHO, RCPCH, AAP etc) say there are significant benefits to breastfeeding (for both baby and mum). Of course babies can and do also grow up healthy on formula, but that doesn't negate the extra benefits that breast milk has. I think we can accept this widely accepted statement without criticising mums who don't breast feed.

It's okay to stop if you want. 16 months is a really long time to do something that you are struggling with

Personally, I think bf is more important if you live in a place where you can't easily access clean water/sterilize equipment or if your baby is prem or poorly. I think hcp should be allowed to tell women that although bf does offer some immunity protection to dc, ff is perfectly okay too and for some people a better choice.
It isn't helpful to tell vulnerable women, whose hormones are all over the place, that they are feeding their baby wrong by choosing formula. I don't think that can do their mental health much good at a time when they are vulnerable to pnd.

I don't mean it to turn into a bunfight.
I'm not debating that statistically there are bf benefits.

I just wonder whether or not they really make a huge difference.

Mainly because I feel so worn down by it and I feel like it's been for nothing.
There was definitely oressure put on me to feed. Again I know I am only one mother and it's anecdotal but there was quite a lot of pressure, particularly by the community midwives.

No one will ever be able to say definitely whether or not their DC have benefited from being bf as you will never have a ff comparison of that exact child. I suspect that they will though, because of the extensive studies that have been done.

I fed my DD till she was 2 (2.5 now) and she's very very rarely ill. She's got a great immune system and I'd like to think it's because of bm by who knows? She might naturally just have good resistance, we also have a dog who she spends a lot of time with and I'm not anal about 'floor food' etc which I think has also toughened her immune system.

If you are not happy though, Think about weaning (I know this is easier said than done!!). 16 months is amazing and I'm sure in the long term, your DD will have gained a lot of benefits

It's massively overrated and the who health benefits are statistically swayed by the health benefits off bf rather than FF in the third world. I'd say the pressure to BF (when I wasn't producing milk) ruined my first few weeks with DS. I found as my DS grew up feeding method is such a miniscule part of child and maternal health. Comparing U.K. Babies who have bf with those who have ff that I know the ff babies have thrived better and had less colds etc in first year. Bf babies have parents who are £10 ish a week better off and homes that smell less of Milton. Now I bet I couldn't point out which kids st school were Ff and BF. It's just another thing for mums to fight over. So long as the baby is fed and the mum and baby are happy we need to move on from the obsession with the origin of the milk it's probably the most pointless thing to worry about when you're a new mum. As for the refusal to support FF by some midwives they should be ashamed of themselves

A friend and I both wanted to breastfeed because of allergies and eczema in the family. We both ebf for over a year. My child has a very mild bit of asthma when certain pollen is about. Her child had pretty severe eczema until she was 3 yrs and is still dairy free to keep it under control. My child is never and has never been ill with sickness or diarrhoea and very rarely gets colds. Her child has had several bouts of illness.
I think a lot of this stuff is genetic basically. Breastfeed if you can and it doesn't cause you distress, don't if you can't. Overall you will never be able to tell those who were breastfed or not.

You are quite correct - the benefits of breast feeding when you have access to good nutrition, formula and clean water, are overstated. If you actually go back to the scientific studies that the likes of WHO have based their advice upon you will find that they are almost universally of poor quality.

I was interested to read that after breastfeeding you have stem cells from your mother in your blood stream even as an adult. Who knows what the potential benefits from that are.

Having been breastfed has been associated with reduced risk of many conditions which presumably your daughter doesn't have, if she hasn't been breastfed perhaps she would have them.

The probiotic bacteria in breast milk help build your microbiome (healthy bacteria that live in your gut and on your body). The microbiome is being studied as being involved in many different diseases.

Also presumably breastfeeding has been a comfort and pleasure for your baby.

By the way my FF child (who I also weaned at 4months is intelligent, good height to weight ratio, very rarely illl and we have an amazing bond. It so doesn't matter lol.

I FF all of mine and they are move healthy than my EBF friends. If I ever had any more then I will definitely FF

This is not a very pro formula forum Bertrand that comment is utter bollocks.

I do think at 16 months it's OK to stop bf and just go to regular milk.

There is far too much pressure regarding bf. Dd1 was born on the 50th centile. She dropped to 0.02 and the mw still insisted that I continue to bf which I stupidly did.

I expressed for 3 months with dd2 because of tt and OMG the difference was ridiculous.

Whilst I fully support all the studies done, I breast fed both my kids for about 2 weeks only - I just didnt feel I was producing enough milk each time and we were all happier once I introduced formula.

If its causing you distress and you dont see the benefits then just stop!

My own kids are very rarely ill - just the odd normal cough, cold etc. At 16m your child should be having a mostly normal diet anyway!

*more

It does often get trotted out that the health benefits mainly apply in developing countries where sanitation is an issue but amazingly the WHO have considered this

OP, in the nicest possible way, what do you want from this thread? You know there are benefits, you know they're on a large scale rather than individual. Breastfeeding can be hard work and you've done brilliantly getting to 16 months. Do you want encouragement to continue or permission to stop? Because either is fine, honestly, but it needs to be your decision not Mumsnets.

Would it make you feel any better to think how much more ill she may have been if formula fed?
Obviously, you'll never know but data shows that breastfeeding significantly reduces babies being admitted to hospital so it could be that by breastfeeding you have prevented her getting really ill and ending up in hospital.

You've also lowered your and her risk of cancer.

I do agree that MN is very pro formula. Almost every infant feeding thread suggests giving bottles of formula. But then that is representative of the UK attitude to infant feeding, by six weeks around 75% of UK babies are partially or exclusively formula fed.

If it makes you feel worn down and miserable then stop. Do you need help with doing that? I'm sure there are plenty of people who can give you advice. Even the pro-est of pro -bf would say 16 months is amazing!

yawn

It's interesting because many women on here say they face pressure from midwives etc to breastfeed.
But as a culture we are very pro formula feeding. In general people consider a ff baby to be 'normal', so when you say your baby feeds overnight for example "oh your milk isn't filling them up, switch to formula", when of course it is normal and healthy to feed overnight. And these ridiculous fusses made over breastfeeding in public. In some circles you need a strong skin to ignore all of this and carry on breastfeeding.
And when someone is having any difficulty breastfeeding often doctors, HV etc advise switching to ff, even when there are solutions to their breastfeeding issue.
We seem to have fallen into the trap of berating individual women for not breastfeeding, but society making it harder for women to breastfeed, although individual mums seem to be shouldering any guilt and blame.
The midwives are obviously getting it wrong if women feel they are being pressured, but tbh I think it's hard to get it right as there is so much misinformation around. I was reading a "guide to feeding your baby" sent out by a formula company (with a free cuddly toy) and the section of breastfeeding was dreadful, full of misleading statements that would subtly push mums into buying their formula milk over considering breastfeeding.

It is over rated in this country with clean water and good healthcare. In third world countries it makes a huge difference. Do whats best for you. Some people get on with breast feeding, some dont. Youve done well to get this far. Your mental health is worth alot. Stop if you want to. (Graps flame proof hat as i know whats happens on breast feeding posts)

I agree, OP. I did it until DD was 9 months and actually stopped as she had three colds in a month and was so ill I couldn't pump to keep it up. I was shocked at how she'd had soooo many illnesses despite breastfeeding too. And they were days apart. But I don't regret breastfeeding as she never got anything awful and did seem more protected until 6 months (when babies get more illnesses as the immunity passed from mum in pregnancy diminishes regardless of bfing). I would bf again as it actually helped my mental health and got DD and I back to sleep more easily during night awakenings. But everyone is different and maybe it's time for you to stop?

Some children are mega healthy and strong. My dd takes after dh, who is rarely ill. Unlike me. I bf till she was 2.5 yrs. I think genetics has a big part to play.

I don't think bfing once dd was fully weaned made a great deal of difference to my energy levels. Stopping is one solution. Another is changing when you feed or how often perhaps?

I had a similar experience DC1 breastfed 15 months, never had a cold! DC2 breastfed 13 months, constantly sick and lots of food allergies. I've wondered if things would have been different with formula but who knows?! There are supposed long term benefits too so you've that to consider. Please stop if it's making you unhappy, it's ok do so.