Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fuming with DDs secondary school over 'fuck boy'.

573 replies

Shitonmyshoe · 27/04/2017 23:34

Just that! For those who don't know, girls now call sexually aggressive/promiscuous boys 'fuck boy'. My daughter has no interest in lads and is only bothered about her GCSEs (very studious but outgoing kid). Today a lad in her year placed his index and middle finger to his face and wriggled his tongue between them (classy) towards my daughter. She told him, 'get out of my face fuck boy' which has resulted in her being punished via a detention. For background she is less than 5 foot in yr 10 and he is well over 6 foot and obviously trains (shithouse wall). Apparently, reason DD was punished was because she was being aggressive 😂

OP posts:
Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 00:47

Thank you to those who get it. I will never apologise for my daughters ability to defend herself. I have looked at at said boys facebook page and it is filled with cool boy pics of him smoking joints and posing with his gang. Complete dick. Won't bother my DD she has spent the evening doing her homework, eating and chatting to me...appears his evening has been spent getting stoned - fab!

OP posts:
StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 00:49

Although I find fuck boy really fucking stupid (but hey they're young)he should definitely get punished, her debatable but I'd say so, I'd wonder for her to get punished and him not if she had some form for swearing or being maybe somewhat disruptive, as I do think reputations come into punishments, but also annoyingly some teachers punish those that are often good more severely to. Deter them from more

Freddystarshamster · 28/04/2017 00:50

She was as good as sexually attacked by a symbolic, careful, deliberate mime

Get a grip

KindDogsTail · 28/04/2017 00:51

(but hey they're young)
and people just like him rape girls that young.

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 00:51

So in summation teachers punishments can be severe if she has form or not so my post was really helpful! Grin

KindDogsTail · 28/04/2017 00:52

Get a grip
You are the one who is not grasping what happened here.

Freddystarshamster · 28/04/2017 00:54

One child made a rude gesture to another child who then was rude back. There's nothing more to grasp

DJBaggySmalls · 28/04/2017 00:55

Self defense is a defense in law. The school have just okayed sexual harassment.

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 00:56

and people just like him rape girls that young.
And there's people " just like him" not that we know "him" apart from about 3-4 descriptors by the OP who is obviously biased as her DC has been wronged. Not that this has anything to do with me saying I find the term fuck boy stupid inference it was used as she was young because generally terms like that and slang are used more in teen years and not much as people get older.

Oh yeah that's right you just wanted to start a random tangent argument Biscuit

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 00:59

"People just like him" who are not rapists*

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 01:01

Stupid and the inference*

I really need to proofread more

TheRealPooTroll · 28/04/2017 01:02

Fuck boy is also a sexual insult as well as swearing.

PippaFawcett · 28/04/2017 01:04

The Real Poo Troll, I was using it as a comparison from the approach taken at my particular school in the nineties, not advocating violence.
He sexually harassed the OP's DD, I think her response was appropriate and warranted and she shouldn't have been punished for it.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/04/2017 01:04

He is vile and should be punished. If the school were a work place he would be sacked so I don't see why a suspension has not happened; or in a workplace such behaviour if not a sackable offence could result in compulsory equalities and diversity training.

Your daughter however should also have been told her language is unacceptable.

Self defense is a defense in law. The school have just okayed sexual harassment

The school appears to allow sexual harassment and that point should be pursued.

TheRealPooTroll · 28/04/2017 01:05

Any necessary defence is allowed in law. Was it necessary for her to swear and make a sexual comment in retaliation?

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 01:06

Ah I love urban dictionary remember using it for a laugh years ago

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck%20boy

Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 01:07

Thank you Kind and other reasonable posters. I am biased as she us my child but, I am reporting this factually. I really don't see how defending yourself verbally is wrongConfused. If a man did that to YOU on the street what would you do?

OP posts:
StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 01:07

It's top definition:
A person who is a weak ass pussy
that ain't bout shit.
look at that weak ass fuck boy.

HahaGrin

melj1213 · 28/04/2017 01:09

Did the teacher witness the whole thing? Or did they just hear your DD swearing and name calling another pupil (their heights and all the other details are irrelevant)?

If the teacher heard and saw everything then it is unfair of them to have punished your DD but not the boy, but if the teacher didn't see the boy making the gesture but heard your DD, then all they can punish is the action they can verify happened. And whilst I'm sure your DD isn't one to make up stories, every teacher has pulled a student up for something only to get "But Miss, I only did X because Johnny did Y first!" to justify their actions and/or to get other kids in trouble too.

If there were other impartial students who witnessed the event or the boy admitted it, then of course he can be punished but if not, then it's a "he said, she said" scenario, and unfortunately in this case the boy is the one who gets away with it because his actions weren't seen but hers were.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/04/2017 01:09

Good for her. Sorry, but she has clearly already learned that sexual harassment is something she will have to deal with. The school have taught her that yes, she is right, they will not deal with sexual harassment so she had better. Excellent work that school Hmm

Unfortunately they have also taught the fuck boy that he will not be punished for sexual harassment but women will be blamed for anything they do.

Life skills all around.

PippaFawcett · 28/04/2017 01:10

She absolutely shouldn't have sworn, she should have thrown her frustration at his unjust action into her needlework instead. Hmm

I don't see why, as she wasn't the instigator, her behaviour is the problem. It seems like the sexual intimidation of girls in schools is alive and kicking - just like when we used to get our bras snapped by the boys 'for a laugh'. Fuck off, fuck boys indeed.

DJBaggySmalls · 28/04/2017 01:10

It sounds like a proportional response to me.

TheRealPooTroll · 28/04/2017 01:11

I would have seen nothing wrong with her telling him to get out of her face. But I don't know any school that allows swearing or using phrases that call other students sexually promiscuous - however 'rough' the school is.
I'm assuming a teacher was present unless 'Fuckboy' went crying to one. So the actual threat would have been minimal.
If someone made that gesture to me in the street I'd tell them to go and fuck themselves. If someone did it to me at work I'd get myself to HR and make a formal complaint.

TheRealPooTroll · 28/04/2017 01:14

If someone gets hit and hits back at school both kids will be punished (hopefully the instigator more severely). I can only imagine what schools would be like if all rules went out of the window any time a pupil was wronged.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 28/04/2017 01:14

If someone made that gesture to me in the street I'd tell them to go and fuck themselves. If someone did it to me at work I'd get myself to HR and make a formal complaint

Yes. That captures it well