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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with DDs secondary school over 'fuck boy'.

573 replies

Shitonmyshoe · 27/04/2017 23:34

Just that! For those who don't know, girls now call sexually aggressive/promiscuous boys 'fuck boy'. My daughter has no interest in lads and is only bothered about her GCSEs (very studious but outgoing kid). Today a lad in her year placed his index and middle finger to his face and wriggled his tongue between them (classy) towards my daughter. She told him, 'get out of my face fuck boy' which has resulted in her being punished via a detention. For background she is less than 5 foot in yr 10 and he is well over 6 foot and obviously trains (shithouse wall). Apparently, reason DD was punished was because she was being aggressive 😂

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 19:11

I was thinking about this today and I have to say I am very uncomfortable with the term 'fuck boy'. It is grotesque language, isn't it? A boy of 15 can't really be deliberately 'promiscuous' either. He is a child.

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 19:20

A boy of 15 can't really be deliberately 'promiscuous' either. He is a child.

Bwahahahahahahahaha

HomityBabbityPie · 29/04/2017 19:28

What do you mean he can't be deliberately promiscuous? Of course he can.

Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 19:30

I don't believe underage sexual activity is a matter of promiscuity. I think if a young boy is having sex with multiple partners at 15, it is because he is damaged. And I think the mocking comment above is deeply unpleasant.

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 19:33

Sorry to be "deeply unpleasant" but as the mother of a fifteen year old girl, I think you have some funny ideas!

PeaFaceMcgee · 29/04/2017 19:34

Fuck boy / fuccboi doesn't even mean promiscuous. It means a loser who can't get girls and has to resort to desperate attempts to get some action.

PeaFaceMcgee · 29/04/2017 19:35

I dated a 15 old boy (at the age myself) who was shagging a lot. I would say he was doing it on purpose with lots of different people. What do you mean user?

TheRealPooTroll · 29/04/2017 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 19:36

TheRealPooTroll:

Well, indeed!

PeaFaceMcgee · 29/04/2017 19:36

Oops, that was to trifle

Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 19:37

User: What is funny about them?

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 19:37

I actually think it is a good thing we are teaching our daughters they don't have to politely decline to send sexy pics or be "awfully sorry" they're not up for some Skype Sex or snapchat fun. A few years ago young women were told to be grateful for the attention. A bit of agency and confidence to mock those lads who act in such a way is no bad thing. Fuck "being a lady".

Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 19:38

PeaFace:

I think it's obvious what I mean. Young boys who are very sexually active are acting out in a way which suggests to me that they are damaged. I don't condemn them for it. I feel sorry for them and wonder how they have been parented.

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 19:40

Trifle : some of the stories/experiences of my dd and her friends at a large mixed urban comprehensive would make your hair curl! The norm has changed

Trifleorbust · 29/04/2017 19:41

User: Given that I work at a large mixed comp, I doubt it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 29/04/2017 19:44

If the school has told the OP what is going to happen to the boy it is a major concern.

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 19:47

Trifle ok! I just guess we see things differently then!

TheRealPooTroll · 29/04/2017 19:47

Yes because it's a choice of being terribly sorry to have to ask or responding with a sexual comment of your own - nothing inbetween!

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 19:49

Pootrol I was talking in more general terms about the phrase "fuckboi" and it's origins, as opposed to the OP's dd's actions exactly. I'm not sure if swearing is anything near as bad as a lewd sexual gesture, surely not?!

TheRealPooTroll · 29/04/2017 19:52

A Fuckboy is a boy who sleeps around - the male equivalent of a slut. The Fuck bit isn't the main issue. Especially not with it apparently being an acceptable word in the school we are talking about Hmm

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 20:00

It's not really the accurate definition, according to dd and her two friends who are here right now its "A “fuckboy” is a young man who sleeps with women without any intention of having a relationship with them" and might also coerce girls into sending naked pics by pretending to be interested in them.

Dd says it's been used by the US Black community for years and only recently been "taken" by the general youth scene and changed slightly. It used to mean a guy who was a bit of a lackey for another more important guy, apparently??

Dd says it definitely does not have slut-shaming under tones.

Also apparently there is a good article on Jezebel about it!!!

TheRealPooTroll · 29/04/2017 20:05

So it would be fine to call a girl something that meant they slept with men with no intention of having a relationship with them then? I think the school policy is probably that you should keep your opinions about other kids fucking habits to yourself! But who knows at this fictional
school?

CopperRose · 29/04/2017 20:05

Just asked my 15 yr old son if he's ever heard the expression 'fuckboy', and what it meant.

He said "basically a slag, but a boy"
I asked him if it was in an insulting way or a show-offy way, and he said "in a bad way".

So, according to him, in their school it's a slut-shame type of thing aimed at boys.

TheRealPooTroll · 29/04/2017 20:06

Also the op does say in her original post that it is a word the girls use about promiscuous boys.

user1491326393 · 29/04/2017 20:08

Sorry do you mean the fictional part about op or my posts? Why do you think the school in the OP is fictional?