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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with DDs secondary school over 'fuck boy'.

573 replies

Shitonmyshoe · 27/04/2017 23:34

Just that! For those who don't know, girls now call sexually aggressive/promiscuous boys 'fuck boy'. My daughter has no interest in lads and is only bothered about her GCSEs (very studious but outgoing kid). Today a lad in her year placed his index and middle finger to his face and wriggled his tongue between them (classy) towards my daughter. She told him, 'get out of my face fuck boy' which has resulted in her being punished via a detention. For background she is less than 5 foot in yr 10 and he is well over 6 foot and obviously trains (shithouse wall). Apparently, reason DD was punished was because she was being aggressive 😂

OP posts:
nooka · 28/04/2017 03:39

For a bit of male perspective I asked my slightly older ds how he'd react if someone called him a 'fuck boy'. He laughed and said he would laugh. I asked how he'd react to the sexual gesture and he said he'd punch the person doing it. They clearly were not in the same league at all to him, and he thought it absurd that the girl was the one who had received the punishment.

Calling a man sexually promiscuous is often a compliment rather than an insult after all.

Oh and are we seriously saying there is difference in power between a tall, well built teenage boy and a small slight teenage girl?

TheDowagerCuntess · 28/04/2017 03:42

I can't believe how unbelievably prim some people are being.

Yet another reason to want to send DD to an all girls school, so that she won't have to put up with this shit.

And then if/when she is subject to such vile behaviour in the real world, she can legitimately tell the person to 'fuck off'. Which I would encourage her to do.

And if someone did this in the work place (?! what sort of work places do some of you work at?), of course they should also be told to 'fuck off'.

kali110 · 28/04/2017 03:42

You asked a question op, don't expect everyone to agree with you Hmm
I quite agree with mel
He should have been punished and i would be complaining massively about that ( the teacher may not have seen the gesture)
However i don't blame the teacher for punishing your daughter also.
That language was not acceptable, she could very easily have gotten point across without saying what she did.

KoalaDownUnder · 28/04/2017 03:48

And if someone did this in the work place (?! what sort of work places do some of you work at?), of course they should also be told to 'fuck off'.

I work at a law firm and I went to an all-girls school.

I would never have told anyone to 'fuck off' at school or in the workplace.

Obviously, there is/was nobody doing filthy hand signals at me, in either place. But sexual harassment exists in many forms, and the principle remains the same: you don't deal with it by calling them a fuck boi.

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 03:52

So dowager, we should let children call each other cunts, sluts, whores, wankers etc and not punish them, as long as they say " but X did this!"

Original poster
Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 03:52

Nooka thank you for taking the time and your don sounds very reasonable and bright.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 03:52

*son

OP posts:
StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 03:55

And there be no proof? For all we know OPs daughter may swear a lot in school it's not unheard of, the teacher may have thought it just an extension of punishing her for swearing. When I think back to my school days ( about 10 years) when my teachers heard someone swearing they didn't stop the class and want a play by play to what made them swear.

Original poster
Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 03:58

Very true kali. Perhaps she should not use her mouth next time and just knee the tosser in the spuds, win , win... Teacher saw nothing on both sides Sad

OP posts:
StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 04:02

Yes because let's all judge whether something's appropriate by what a school boy thinks, forget MN let's all join the student room and find out how to behave and how to deal with situations, as schoolchildren as whole are well known to act sensible and know how to deal with everything sensibly and mature Hmm

No disrespect to Nooka's son meant but it's pretty stupid and insulting for the OP to essentially tell everyone that doesn't agree with her that they're not reasonable and are stupid

Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 04:02

This reply has been deleted

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StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 04:02

Yes because let's all judge whether something's appropriate by what a school boy thinks, forget MN let's all join the student room and find out how to behave and how to deal with situations, as schoolchildren as whole are well known to act sensible and know how to deal with everything sensibly and mature Hmm

No disrespect to Nooka's son meant but it's pretty stupid and insulting for the OP to essentially tell everyone that doesn't agree with her that they're not reasonable and are stupid

sailorcherries · 28/04/2017 04:03

shit I'm assuming next time someone calls your daughter a slut it's okay, because it's okay for her to do so to others?

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 04:03

I said for all we know shit, that's all

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 04:05

And there's nothing wrong with me, I just think students at school should be punished for swearing...I suppose I'm funny in that way

Freddystarshamster · 28/04/2017 04:13

Perhaps she should not use her mouth next time and just knee the tosser in the spuds, win , win

Awesome idea. Do you think anyone should be allowed to assault another for making an offensive gesture or should this just be afforded to females?

Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 04:15

This reply has been deleted

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sailorcherries · 28/04/2017 04:19

And this is where your daughter gets her behaviour from. Aside from the fact we are both making entirely different points we are quite obviously the same person because we've dared to disagree with you. Goodnight.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2017 04:32

Wow shit do you make nasty comments about people's intellligence to everyone who disagrees with you in real life too?

Classy Hmm

nooka · 28/04/2017 04:32

I'm not suggesting we should be asking for advice from school children (and I'd not be at all pleased with ds if he did thump someone, regardless of provocation), I just thought it would be interesting to get a take on how the swear/gestures would be interpreted by teenagers of similar ages. 'fuck boi' seems to be at a fairly similar level to 'tosser' or 'wanker', pretty low level stuff in their minds. Whereas the gesture was seen as totally unacceptable.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2017 04:37

I asked how he'd react to the sexual gesture and he said he'd punch the person doing it.

Ah classy - is your DS prone to violence?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2017 04:39

Violence is a totally disproportionate response to someone in that situation.

StillHungryy · 28/04/2017 04:39

Well we're not we just don't agree with you, I'm also not thick, nor a troll. I do not think you're thick either but I do think you've made posts to goad people into replying and disingenuously saying people have said/ thought things that haven't been on the thread such as:

  • I really don't see how defending yourself verbally is wrong
CheesyCrust · 28/04/2017 04:40

I think I can see where your daughter gets her class from @Shitonmyshoe

Both your daughter and the boy should be punished, but your rudeness towards anyone who disagrees with you suggests you don't really understand the purpose of a discussion board.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/04/2017 04:42

I have reported the troll hunting, personal attacks and accusations of sock puppeting

Swipe left for the next trending thread