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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fuming with DDs secondary school over 'fuck boy'.

573 replies

Shitonmyshoe · 27/04/2017 23:34

Just that! For those who don't know, girls now call sexually aggressive/promiscuous boys 'fuck boy'. My daughter has no interest in lads and is only bothered about her GCSEs (very studious but outgoing kid). Today a lad in her year placed his index and middle finger to his face and wriggled his tongue between them (classy) towards my daughter. She told him, 'get out of my face fuck boy' which has resulted in her being punished via a detention. For background she is less than 5 foot in yr 10 and he is well over 6 foot and obviously trains (shithouse wall). Apparently, reason DD was punished was because she was being aggressive 😂

OP posts:
Datun · 28/04/2017 18:25

Told him he was stupid and pathetic then gone to the teacher and insist that he is punished or she will contact the police and report an offence under section 5 Public Order Act is a good start.

This would be wonderful if girls were given more tools to deal with this kind of sexual aggro. They wouldn't have to rely on the language of their peers.

There aren't many things a kid can say to somebody who is sexually harassing them that, either won't make it worse or will lead you to detention.

If girls could shoot up their hand and shout out 'Section 5, Miss', it would become synonymous with I am being sexually harassed.

But no one tells any of this to girls, do they?

limitedperiodonly · 28/04/2017 18:26

And you misunderstand - I said to call this assault is distastefu

I don't misunderstand. We disagree.

GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 18:32

We agree that the boy was wrong, and that actual sexual assault is worse. See your own post @ 18.11

summerbreezer · 28/04/2017 18:38

This would be wonderful if girls were given more tools to deal with this kind of sexual aggro. They wouldn't have to rely on the language of their peers.

I agree 100%. I have been into schools to do talks on "sex and the law" to boys and girls. Legal education is a vital part of personal and social development.

As far as I know the government do not fund it at present, so the schemes that do it are reliant on barristers, solicitors and police officers taking a day out of work to do it for free.

Learning where boundaries lie and how to react appropriately and effectively if your boundaries are violated is an important life skill.

Madhairday · 28/04/2017 18:41

If girls could shoot up their hand and shout out 'Section 5, Miss', it would become synonymous with I am being sexually harassed.

Yes. Maybe an MN campaign? But for now, to say a child in that situation 'should' have calmly made those points is ludicrous. This was a quick response to an oppressor. And people are blaming her for it Hmm

KindDogsTail · 28/04/2017 18:43

Are we saying that the only way to respond to these things is to call someone a "fuck boy"? That there is literally no other response that would have been open to her

No, but she needed to react forcefully then and there.

Your other response example is very good, and much better, I can see that. But even as I am, grown up, I don't think I would have thought of that at the time or even known "Section 5 Public Order Act "existed. Maybe school children need lessons in this.

The teacher who is punishing her for swearing does not seem to know about it either. (Unless no teacher knows what he did.)

Annahibiscuits · 28/04/2017 18:43

Teachers don't listen IME. Or pay lip service..UNLESS the girls retaliate

GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 18:46

Retaliate Anna?

Annahibiscuits · 28/04/2017 18:48

Swear/push/thump etc

GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 18:49

Retaliate the day after?

GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 18:56

Swear/push/thump the day after?

I think pushing/thumping at the time would be disproportionate let alone do it in a calculated way the day after, I imagine it would be hard to argue it was in immediate defence so the school would have no choice but to punish even more harshly

Elendon · 28/04/2017 19:06

You know exactly what Anna is referring to Gah.

I do.

limitedperiodonly · 28/04/2017 19:07

We agree that the boy was wrong, and that actual sexual assault is worse. See your own post @ 18.11

It doesn't diminish your sexual assault to also describe a lesser offence as an assault. It's not a contest. They are both sexually motivated acts. How they are dealt with might be different, but they originate from the same root.

Original poster
Shitonmyshoe · 28/04/2017 19:12

OP here. Contacted the head this morning who checked the cctv and there it was. He has been excluded and his parents have to meet with the head next week (his poor mum). Head was very cross. DD did not have to complete her detention Grin

OP posts:
Astro55 · 28/04/2017 19:13

There's justice!

Bu they should've taken her word or looked at cctv there and then!

frazzlebedazzle · 28/04/2017 19:14

'I'm sure this behaviour from a passer by on the street would elicit the same response from many posters.'

This! But children aren't allowed the same grace as adults are they, do as I say not as I do HmmConfused

Disgusted with the school's response, assuming they have the whole picture. If it were me I'd be asking for a meeting and if I wasn't happy with the outcome would be speaking to the police regarding sexual assault (and I don't say that lightly, though it would be a last resort).

Yes I would have a conversation my daughter privately about expressing herself with language that doesn't involve swearing and how that can have more impact, and keeping herself safe, but that is all.

GetAHaircutCarl · 28/04/2017 19:14

Good response from school.

GetAHaircutCarl · 28/04/2017 19:15

Suspending boy I mean.

frazzlebedazzle · 28/04/2017 19:15

Oops, cross posted with your update, OP! Brilliant news!

fakenamefornow · 28/04/2017 19:19

Great news op!

Elendon · 28/04/2017 19:21

Fantastic news OP and a solid response from the school.

I bet your DD is delighted!

grannytomine · 28/04/2017 19:21

Elendon, well you might presume he is a convicted rapist but that isn't what was said. The post said she murdered him so I didn't think it was self defence, I think if a barrister is saying she murdered him then she has probably admitted it but mitigating circumstances. Obviously the poster can't give us all the details. My point was you were saying it isn't murder if she hasn't been convicted but that goes for him as well. Unless all men are automatically guilty?

fakenamefornow · 28/04/2017 19:21

He has been excluded and his parents have to meet with the head next week (his poor mum).

I hope his mum doesn't take the same view as some of the posters on here and say your daughter deserves detention. If he was my son I'd be fucking fuming.

flippinada · 28/04/2017 19:22

That's a good outcome OP. Glad the school are doing the right thing, albeit belatedly.

GahBuggerit · 28/04/2017 19:22

I said to call it assault was distasteful, because what happened was not assault its harassment. Still bad, still needs dealing with.

Elendon - you're the one who gave me the definition of retaliation earlier? To do something the day after? So thump/push the day after?

Op - good news he's been punished. Sad that CCTV is even needed in schools nowadays :(

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