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Original poster

FUMING about this man's comments on my lunch at the supermarket!

650 replies

LunchRant · 27/04/2017 14:00

Working from home today. Extremely stressed as I'm really behind on deadlines for things. Decided to pop out for some fresh air and lunch. Went to the big Tesco near me and was browsing the lunch aisle (meal deal sandwiches etc) when a guy just walks by and tuts. Then he says "That's fattening. Definitely fattening."

I have definitely went up a size recently due to not having time to do my usual exercise routine, crappy sleep, and snacking for energy while i'm up at midnight typing/working. But the madness will end by the end of May and I can focus on losing weight again. Not my priority right now.

So i immediately got angry. Told him that he'd best stay away from it then (It was a hummus, falafel wrap btw). He giggled. Still didn't budge. He said something like he's been losing the same battle with his stomach for years. But his wife is still as thin as the day they got married. Then advised me to "stay away from all that. Fresh air is all that you need."

I asked if that's all his wife ate, fresh air. And i asked him to come over and tell me what i should be eating then. I was quite arsey. "Come on. since you've got such an opinion on what i should eat. Come and choose for me."

Another woman who had recently appeared in the aisle said i should calm down. Clearly the man was just trying to make conversation. I told her he should have said hello then and commented on the rain like a normal person. Not comment on my calorie intake.

Then the man starts acting like a victim. "now, now, that's not what i meant. Just being friendly." Tesco employee emerges, just walking by, and the woman informs him that I'm harassing an elderly gentleman.

The employee looked a bit awkward. Asked if everything was okay. I just grumbled 'fuck this'. Put down the bottle of water i was holding, swapped it for a full fat bottle of irn bru and also got a packet of crisps. Childishly said a big 'Yum'. Then told the man "you should be ashamed of yourself." then went and paid.

15 minute walk home and I'm still reeling!

Yes i over reacted. Yes i am half a stone overweight in terms of BMI. Yes i'm still stuffing myself into size 12 clothes when i'm now a 14. And yes, i'm touchy about it.

But i am so pissed off that someone feels it's their right to comment on what someone else eats (especially when he was clearly overweight himself!)

And i'm also pissed off that the woman just passed it off as 'friendly chatter'.

I now don't think i can go back there for a few weeks as I'm so embarrassed. Can't even stomach eating this lunch now as i'm actually feeling guilty about eating something so 'fattening'. Arsehole.

Also can't find the motivation to continue with this work. An hour til DD finishes school. Was hoping i'd make some progress today. Nope!

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 27/04/2017 15:41

I fucking hate people attempting polite conversation so bollocks to someone just being plain rude. I'd have probably either just given him my best fuck off look or said 'Just how is my lunch any of your business love?'

PoisonousSmurf · 27/04/2017 15:43

Ladies in my village shop always comment on what people buy. Water off a duck's back. Ignore what others say. It's how you react to it that causes problems.

Goldfishjane · 27/04/2017 15:45

He was rude

sorry about these responses OP.

I mean look at this gem "I was merely stating that cake was fattening"

WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT PEOPLE TELLING US THIS STUFF?!!!

mousymary · 27/04/2017 16:09

I don't think he was being rude. He was commenting on a wrap, fgs. Probably just did it without thinking.

And those saying things like, "I fucking hate people attempting polite conversation" - how horrid are you?

I actually spoke to a woman in Home Bargains today. I was sniffing the sanitary towels (as one does) because I hate the perfumed ones. To try to show the woman next to me that I'm not that mad I said, "I really can't bear the fact that they've introduced this awful smell now." The woman looked disgusted and stalked off. Blush Clearly a bit of chit-chat in shops is considered abusive .

felinewonderful · 27/04/2017 16:16

Yanbu he was being rude and I wouldn't have been pleased either. It doesn't matter what size people are, I don't think it's up to random strangers to judge the food choices of others.

WorraLiberty · 27/04/2017 16:16

sorry about these responses OP

What a bizarre thing to apologise for Goldfishjane Confused

It's just a mixture of various people's points of view, which the OP has obviously invited by starting a thread.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/04/2017 16:16

Remarking about the nutritional value or calories of what another person is eating or has in their trolley, be it cake or kale, is rude. Doubly so if the person has a 'weight problem', whether over- or under-weight.

He was rude. I probably would have just given him the stink-eye and moved on though.

champagnecyclist · 27/04/2017 16:20

YANBU

I had something like this while pregnant, posted on MN at the time. Went to Starbucks to buy a hot chocolate. Young girl serving looked at my large bump and came out with 'do you really think you should be drinking that'? - I was was too taken aback at the time to respond appropriately. Appropriate would have sounded a lot like Fuck. Right. Off.

niangua · 27/04/2017 16:22

Don't understand the need for debate. "Fuck off, dickface" would have been a lot more succinct.

HappyFlappy · 27/04/2017 16:25

You are half a stone overweight? That won't even show to anyone but you.

I doubt he would've said anything if he really thought you were fat. Probably it was friendly banter.

Are you a southerner? Hmm

Aeroflotgirl · 27/04/2017 16:25

What a dick.

HappyFlappy · 27/04/2017 16:26

I'll discuss sanitary towel scents with you Mousey.

I talk to everyone, me. Smile

Serialweightwatcher · 27/04/2017 16:28

He could have mental health problems - if you were so offended you should have ignored him and walked away ... I don't think he would have been referring to you being 'overweight' when you're a size 14 so I doubt it was to upset you

RubyWinterstorm · 27/04/2017 16:29

If you are half a stone overweight, you are not fat and he clearly was making a lighthearted comment, I doubt he looked at you with eagle eyes and thought: "at least 2 pounds too fat! I'll intervene"

At work, whenever I get a chocolate bar or anything, someone will pipe up:" It'll go straight to the hips, you know" or similar. I never see it as an actual comment on my weight.

I think you overreacted.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 27/04/2017 16:29

Mousy how does disliking randomers talking to me make me horrid? Did I say anywhere that I ignore them or tell them to fuck off? No, I did not because despite thinking it I reply politely as that's what is expected Hmm

FrenchJunebug · 27/04/2017 16:35

YABU I would have made a joke to his first comment and let it go. You overreacted.

BorpBorpBorp · 27/04/2017 16:36

He could have mental health problems, but it's more likely that he doesn't and he just feels entitled to make comments about women's food choices. It's perfectly OK to challenge that sense of entitlement.

Sniffing packets of sanitary towels is less weird than talking to strangers in shops.

HappyFlappy · 27/04/2017 16:36

I reply politely as that's what is expected

Thank you Broom.

That is all that we gobshite accusers of strangers in supermarkets ask of anyone. Grin

HappyFlappy · 27/04/2017 16:37

*accosters, not accusers.

Naughty autocorrect!

DameXanaduBramble · 27/04/2017 16:37

I think you need to grow up, op.

DalaHorse · 27/04/2017 16:42

If he was definitely commenting on your food choice rather then musing aloud, I'd have said "and it's your business because why?" Given him a look and carried on choosing.

Tenpastlate · 27/04/2017 16:43

#EverydaySexism

^ This.
He wouldn't have made the comments about the food or his wife if you were a man.

Kikiroo · 27/04/2017 16:43

HOW RUDE! No one asked for his opinion? And touching a nerve? Seriously there are far more tactical conversations he could have started with than a rude one. What a knob and socially inept! YANBU! I would have been hurt too. How about the old man grow some bloody manners and mind his own business instead of telling OP to grow a thicker skin and to stop being so sensitive. And to tut at someone is NOT trying to strike up a friendly conversation. Ever experience a friendly conversation involving a tut towards you from a total stranger?

WannabeMathematician · 27/04/2017 16:45

It understand where your coming from OP. I tend to find when I get into these situations if I'm not nice or polite then I'm being rude or "spoiling the fun".

Why should OP have to be polite to some one who she thought was rude? And as for saying "he was just commenting on the wrap" it was the wrap she was holding so it is a comment on what he thinks of her choices.

Strangely I find an over expressive nod then actively breaking eye contact to do something else works if people keep trying to talk to you when you're not in the mood.

BusterGonad · 27/04/2017 16:45

I'm with niangua what a dick head, and as for the could have mental health problems comments, as if, he was just a dick head and thought he was being clever. I would have been fuming too Op, I hate people that think they can comment on your diet or your body.

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