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AIBU?

To be upset about photos on husbands phone?

273 replies

blueocean88 · 24/04/2017 20:03

We're on holiday at the moment and I was on my husbands iPad with our son looking through photos, he got excited swiping through and accidentally deleted one. I went into deleted photos to retrieve it and there's photos in there that my husbands taken of women around the pool. Obviously angry/upset I looked at his messages and he'd messaged a friend saying there was loads of Milfs in our hotel. He's since deleted that message but can only assume he's sent the photos to his friend. I'm really upset about it, haven't said anything to husband yet as don't even know what to say and really don't want to ruin our holiday. Would you be upset about this?

OP posts:

Report

WankingMonkey · 24/04/2017 21:07

Another vote for creep tbh...purposely taking photos of unwilling people just to perv over. Yuck.

EweAreHere · 24/04/2017 21:10

Sorry, OP. But he's a creep (taking photos of unsuspecting women who think they're safe by their holiday pool) and he knows it (in his 'trash' file, where he hoped no one else, YOU, would see it).

I hope you don't have a daughter... I've seen men like that with teenage daughters who perv on their daughters' friends. Totally gross.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 24/04/2017 21:11

Gross! Even worse on a tablet your kids have access to good luck having that difficult conversation that starts 'why are you such an immature disgusting pervert?'

jasmine1979 · 24/04/2017 21:13

Sorry op, but his actions are not those of a "lovely guy and great husband."
If I were you, I would seriously question how well I actually knew my husband at all. So Sorry.

PeaFaceMcgee · 24/04/2017 21:13

As he can't possibly say or do anything to excuse his behaviour, I think you just need to think about how to get across to him (without crying) how unacceptable his behaviour is.

If you cry at him he'll comfort you, tell you he's so devastated to have made you feel this way, it was only banter... He may even cry himself or make you feel like you're overreacting.

Make peace with your own feelings and needs first, before you talk to him.

sashh · 24/04/2017 21:14

Assuming the OP is not in the UK then we don't know what the laws are.

Also if it is a hotel pool then it is not a public place.

OP

In addition tot he excellent ideas on here how about asking if he has heard about the guy the spent the night in jail for taking photos around the pool - elaborate depending on where you are and what he is likely to believe.

Or tell him that some random bloke took your picture, wait for his reaction before you tell him it was him taking the pic.

Joanna0685 · 24/04/2017 21:27

Yuck, what haven't you seen?

SassynSane · 24/04/2017 21:28

Really immature and disrespectful behaviour. OP what would his reaction be if it was the other way around? If he had caught you perving and taking pics of other blokes and making comments to friends back home & doing your best to hide it from him? I doubt he'd be very impressed about it all. And what would his reaction be if another woman came up to you both to apologise because she'd found out her DH had been taken pics of YOU? Horrible situation but one you do need to speak to him about. Good luck

donquixotedelamancha · 24/04/2017 21:46

"I'm really upset about it and don't know what to do"

It's not rocket science: speak to him. DW and I would be having a blazing row if she pulled a stunt like this; but however you broach it, it need to be discussed. You need to tell him how upset you are, and he need to understand how creepy and inappropriate it is.

I do like the idea of linking this thread.

whomovedmychocolate · 24/04/2017 21:46

Jeez I hope he's never shared photos of you OP with his mates

BeaderBird · 24/04/2017 21:48

What an immature twat. Completely unacceptable.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/04/2017 21:56

I'd be horrified to be photographed and then have it leered over as a MILF. What lecherous, disgusting behaviour!

Do you think you can get past it? I think it would change the way I looked at my DH to discover this.

blueocean88 · 24/04/2017 22:06

Obviously I know I need to speak to him about it, I'm just not sure that now is the right time/place that's all

OP posts:

MadMags · 24/04/2017 22:07

He doesn't have to be perfect not to be a disgusting, sleazy creep.

Cammysmoma · 24/04/2017 22:10

I could never bite my tongue

RiseToday · 24/04/2017 22:13

Yes I would be very pissed off but he sounds more immature than a pervert. It would depend how he responds when you have it out with him. If he is genuinely remorseful/mortified then I would let it go. If he plays it down/can't see the error of his ways then you have some serious thinking to do.

blueocean88 · 24/04/2017 22:16

I absolutely agree that it's disgusting, I was just trying to get across that I don't personally think he's a bad guy who I can just leave over this at the drop of a hat. We're married, we have a child together and we're planning to have another baby soon.

It's horrible that he's done this and I really did come on here to see if I was really overreacting - which I can clearly see I'm not by everyone's replies.

OP posts:

blueocean88 · 24/04/2017 22:17

That should read were planning not we're planning

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 24/04/2017 22:17

Tell the women he has been perving on. See if they think it is the right time/place to call him out on his shady activities.

PeaFaceMcgee · 24/04/2017 22:17

How can he not know it's wrong, though? He blatantly does - it's not decent behaviour. He obviously knows this but did these things anyway.

I'm not sure how his apologies and mortification would change anything here. At least not for me. Maybe OP is different.

Fruitcorner123 · 24/04/2017 22:19

I don't really see the point in waiting in speak to him about it. It has massively upset you and ruined your holiday. What will you gain by waiting? I couldn't lie next to him in bed and have normal conversations with him after this tbh. It's so horrible and you can't salvage your last couple of days by ignoring it.

LoveDeathPrizes · 24/04/2017 22:21

Yes the misogynistic prick!

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Crowdblundering · 24/04/2017 22:24

OP I can see why you wouldn't want to deal with it right now actually and further ruin your holiday but at least take some screen shots and save them somewhere(send them to yourself) so he can't deny it.

Then when you get home give him a chance to redeem himself.

LemonSqueezy0 · 24/04/2017 22:25

What an absolute creep. He sounds very immature and disgusting , at best, but engaging in illegal behaviour at worst. I'm gutted for you.

PeaFaceMcgee · 24/04/2017 22:29

How can you be attracted to him any more?

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