Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

532 replies

deffonamechange · 22/04/2017 18:16

Just been reading a thread further down where yes some scumbag bloke had been horrible to someone. Lots of outrage and tell him he has a small dick, tell him he has a micro penis basically mock the size of his genitals.

Can you imagine if a woman upset a bloke and all his mates said tell her she has awful labia, tell her her fanny is horrible, tell her she doesnt look normal down there
Its horrific!!

Do you know how many lovely men with smaller penises get inundated with this? Do you know how many teenage boys worry themselves to death because of comments like these?

Its depressing/sexist/cruel and plain nasty. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

OP posts:
itsmine · 23/04/2017 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerchantofVenice · 23/04/2017 22:11

Ok Lass - well that's not very gracious. I acknowledged your rather basic interpretation...Jeez. Even at GCSE you have to accept alternative readings...

MerchantofVenice · 23/04/2017 22:12

Oh - yes, I am being snarky now. Is that ok? Is that 'unfeminist'? Or is it only you who can take that tone?

MerchantofVenice · 23/04/2017 22:14

It must be quite relaxing living with your critical faculties switched off though...

DixieNormas · 23/04/2017 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 23/04/2017 22:14

but do women still have to be all nice to each other, even in the face of misogyny?

You are not engaging on the point that the term itself can be used by women being misogynistic. I don't think anyone apart from one poster thought this thread merited its use.

itsmine · 23/04/2017 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 23/04/2017 22:21

Merchant you really are quite rude. You have put a different interpretation on it. I don't think that your interpretation is supported by the text. There are different interpretations of text and reading into it what isn't there.

In the space of 5 minutes you have gone from presenting a reasoned argument to saying basically all of itsmine, Dixie and I are thick because we didn't agree with you.

itsmine · 23/04/2017 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieNormas · 23/04/2017 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/04/2017 22:35

I do not agree with your assertion that the OP had "the distinct aroma of those bloody feminists...". Rather "it isn't ok to do it to do it to women, why is it ok to do it to a man", IYSWIM. Neither feminism, nor feminists were mentioned at all and it is posted in Chat, not FWR, so I don't see the attack on feminists that you do.

While some phrases from literature shed or gain meaning, I think it's a massive stretch from the original character to use it to mean female misogynist who should know better.Hmm And it's use by some feminists to put down other women is incredibly ironic in the context of the book.

Mercy, women have said they are insulted by the term. It is intended to insult or dismiss women's voices so why do you feel the need to defend its usage?

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/04/2017 22:38

Oops, that was to Merchant, but it would be good if Mercy and anyone else defending it's use would answer it too.Blush

Wedrine4me · 23/04/2017 22:43

Tbh I would generally have said I see myself having feminist ideals but I've been a bit horrified by the blinkered views on here. Such a narrow way of thinking and interpreting things, rather than seeing things from all angles, approaching a subject and looking at it from different perspectives.
The radfems seems to only accept things from one perspective - that of a persecuted woman. It's sort of put me off feminism a bit Sad which is probably the opposite of what was being tried to be achieved by some posters.

Wedrine4me · 23/04/2017 22:47

My interpretation of the op was also Rather "it isn't ok to do it to do it to women, why is it ok to do it to a man", IYSWIM. Neither feminism, nor feminists were mentioned at all and it is posted in Chat, not FWR, so I don't see the attack on feminists that you do.

VestalVirgin · 23/04/2017 22:54

The radfems seems to only accept things from one perspective - that of a persecuted woman.

What perspective would you prefer?

The "Women are to blame for males oppressing, raping and murdering them, and feminism is all about women changing themselves so that the perfectly lovely men will finally love them" perspective?

Don't you see how fundamentally ridiculous this is?

If you don't believe that women are oppressed by males (you call it "persecuted" but I suppose you mean the same thing) then clearly, feminism is not for you.

Which is quite obvious in your statement that you feel "put off feminism".

Why on earth do you think that you have "feminist ideals"? What are those mysterious feminist ideals that you can have while believing that men don't oppress women at all?

Wedrine4me · 23/04/2017 23:04

Of course there is lots of oppression and it's obviously wrong but it appears people can sometimes read meanings into things which patently aren't there - as is evidenced by this thread. If you are always seeing the world through those, sometimes blinkered and misguided, eyes then yes it is taking feminism too far. Not always. There is a great deal of work that still needs to be done. But sometimes interpretations arent always correct if you only see them from the one persecuted perspective.
Anyway that is what I have gained from this thread Sad

Wedrine4me · 23/04/2017 23:07

What are those mysterious feminist ideals that you can have while believing that men don't oppress women at all?

Again it is taking something and extrapolating things to extremes. Reading more into things than is there.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/04/2017 23:13

Vestal, who here has said that they believe that "men don't oppress women at all"?

littleoldladywho · 23/04/2017 23:15

I find the handmaiden thing fascinating. The group of women who are using handmaiden robes to silently protest changes to the abortion laws in Texas have my absolute admiration. But I am also intrigued by the use of 'handmaiden' as a derogatory term - one that I have seen recently used to critique Margaret Atwood's own behaviour in the Stephen Galloway case. Certainly in that instance, she could possibly have got away with the original connotations if she hadn't been quite so strident in her defence of a man accused of sexual harassment. Fortunately a lot of other female authors copped on to their behaviour and apologized, whereas MA dug her heels in. I have lost an awful lot of respect for Margaret Atwood. (And yes, I examined my use of the word strident and used it anyway.) I find the term handmaiden absolutely fascinating.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 24/04/2017 00:55

LittleOldLady I didn't know about Stephen Galloway. Interesting.

Atwood has a valid point that the proceedings seem badly flawed but some of her comments might have been better framed. The possibility of the "women don't always tell the truth" part being taken out of context is obvious.

I think it was odd to refer to the Stephen Truscott case as a warning of the results of flawed proceedings. The Truscott case was a tragedy and a pretty blatant miscarriage of justice but Truscott was found guilty because of flawed forensic evidence, not victim's testimony. I don't see the 2 cases as comparable. Ann-Marie Macdonald's fictionalised account of the Truscott case was very moving and I see she was not a signatory to the letter.

lottieandmia · 24/04/2017 01:04

I don't really agree with the sentiments of the OP, because it assumes that men and women are equal when women are oppressed in a way men cannot be because our biology is central to why we're oppressed.

Leafcushionswhy · 24/04/2017 01:30

I am the OP from the thread that the OP here is referring to originally.

In my OP I stated what my friend's husband sent to me, and then I asked the following question:

Do women go around saying "congrats on trying really hard with your small dick. I know it's naturally small but you've had the sense to know you can mitigate some of that by pumping a bit harder?"

The answer being - obviously - NO, women do not go around saying things like that. I wasn't testing it out as a possible retort to my friends' husband. I wasn't "relying on a small dick remark" to get back at him. I was noticing the difference between the way men and women refer to things the other can't control. That I really don't ever hear women saying things like that about men.

And you'll see that the way I phrased it was in direct relation to what friend's husband said to me. That she naturally puts on weight but she doesn't make any effort to lose it. I was just making a comparison, especially concerning the hypocritical way in which some men believe that women should make an effort to "impress" them with their weight, yet women very rarely say men should make an effort to "impress" them with some physical attribute.

I was very angry when I wrote the OP, and emotional, so maybe I should have phrased my thoughts differently, but I really was going with a stream of consciousness in anger, and I can accept some people might have misunderstood it.

kali110 · 24/04/2017 02:34

Leafcushionswhy was your thread about the husband who messaged saying his wife had put on weight and why couldn't she lose it etc etc? Sorry if i'm wrong!

lass wow i've only been away for an hour Confused and i wonder why i didn't poster earlier Hmm

itsmine · 24/04/2017 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wedrine4me · 24/04/2017 07:40

leaf
I thought the op was referring to the thread where a text was sent saying the op was crap in bed. The guy was obviously an arsehole and needed to be shot down but many of the the suggestions were to retaliate referencing the size of his genitals - which wouldn't have been relevant anyway if he was of average size. Much better insults should and could have been used rather than the default small dick references which were irrelevant.