Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Babysitter requesting beers?

149 replies

N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:11

Sorry if this is a well trodden path but I'm fairly new to MN. I've arranged a babysitter (family member) for our 2 year old DS tomorrow night. I've just text to see if they want any snacks getting in and they've asked for beers. As they're babysitting I wouldn't have expected them to be drinking. I am pretty uptight about things so don't want to kick up a fuss over nothing but I don't really like the idea of this. AIBU?

OP posts:

KC225 · 21/04/2017 19:14

Not on. Snacks yes. Beers no.

And for everyone saying you will have a drink on your own home. You also know your limits, know your child and know how much before you fall alseep on the sofa.

Pinkheart5915 · 21/04/2017 19:14

I drink a glass of wine or 2 as does dh when we have our dc here so I'd personally have no issue with it. I also wouldn't expect mil or my parents not to drink when babysitting

Just say "I'd rather you didn't drink if that's ok, can I get something else in for you?"

Swissgemma · 21/04/2017 19:14

Are they being paid? that for me is the difference - don't drink if you are working - if i hire a babysitter in I would not expect drinking and would find it odd. but I would have a couple of drinks of an evening and look after my 21 month old so wouldn't judge a family member doing the same.

Cammysmoma · 21/04/2017 19:14

Hell no.

No.

So irresponsible. Just say 'shit I forgot to grab them' go with your gut woman! X

Obsidian77 · 21/04/2017 19:16

Agree -you don't drink if you're working.

Questioningeverything · 21/04/2017 19:17

I'd go back with 'ha as if you'd drink while watching dc!'

Laiste · 21/04/2017 19:17

How old are they and are you paying them?

To be honest whatever the answers i wouldn't like someone drinking while babysitting my kids. I'd have to say sorry but no. Or if i really couldn't bring myself to say it or trust them not to drink anyway then i'd make up a reason to cancel the night out.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 21/04/2017 19:17

Get some alcohol free beer. .

ralphi · 21/04/2017 19:17

I don' t think you need to pretend to have forgotten to buy them. If they are being paid then you can tell them straight there is no alcohol while on the job. End of.

TheExuberant1 · 21/04/2017 19:18

I don't agree with babysitters drinking, my views are the same as KC225.
When I was a child my babysitter fell asleep on the sofa after drinking wine and almost set the house alight!

PurpleDaisies · 21/04/2017 19:18

I think it's fine to have a beer or other alcoholic drink, but not enough to put you over the drink driving limit.

When I've babysat, the hosts have often left a bottle of wine.

Original poster

N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:18

Thanks guys!! Can't speak to hubby as it's a surprise night out for him and it's a family member so not being paid. Yes I did wonder about saying I'd forgotten to get them!! That might be a good option.

OP posts:

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 21/04/2017 19:19

No way! The fact that they asked would make me question their judgement

Original poster

N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:19

Also it would be a worry during our meal because I'll be checking in all of the time.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 21/04/2017 19:20

Does this guy have form for getting drunk or behaving irresponsibly?

ChaiTeaTaiChi · 21/04/2017 19:20

It's not like parents never have a drink, and as they are doing you a favour its not something you can complain about.
Either you trust them to look after your kid or you don't, end of story. If you do, they can judge it for themselves, and if you don't trust them you shouldn't be leaving them anyway.

Goosewings · 21/04/2017 19:22

I babysit often for many different families. I would say about 50% of the time they say "help yourself to beer or wine from the fridge."
I've never done so and certainly wouldn't request it!... But if they have always been offered beer they might not see that it is a bit weird to request it.

FatOldBag · 21/04/2017 19:23

I'd reply "I hope that's a joke".

3boys3dogshelp · 21/04/2017 19:23

In that case say you bought them and your DH drank them and you couldn't tell him they weren't for him.

NerrSnerr · 21/04/2017 19:25

If they're a family member who is not being paid I would go with your gut regarding how much they drink. There is one family member of mine who would never babysit as they have alcohol issues and I is they'd get drunk, others I wouldn't have an issue with them having a few beers as I know they'd still be competent in caring for the child.

PaintingByNumbers · 21/04/2017 19:25

unpaid family member, presumably over 18? i'd have got beers in without being asked.

Laiste · 21/04/2017 19:26

Trouble is with saying you've forgotten or someone else has drunk it ect is that they could say they're going to quickly pop out for some before you go and then you're faced with being honest or worrying all night.

Primaryteach87 · 21/04/2017 19:26

I've offered beer to be in for a babysitter who was doing us a favour (friend). Unless they never drink or are very easily drunk then one or two beers wouldn't make them incapabale of babysitting. I drink in moderation with my children here in bed so don't see how it's any different. If I thought they were the sort to drink to drunk or neglect my children I wouldn't have asked then to babysit in the first place.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 21/04/2017 19:26

Totally up to you as they are your children so if you feel uncomfortable then just say so. Personally it wouldn't bother me but I'd maybe just but 4 small, low alcohol bottles so they can have a drink but won't be drunk. For most people 1 or 2 beers wouldn't impact on their ability to look after children.

WallisFrizz · 21/04/2017 19:26

Got to be honest, providing a couple of beers to an unpaid reliable trustworthy (if that is the case) family member probably wouldn't bother me. In fact, when I babysat for my neighbour's dc a few months ago they told me to help myself to a glass of wine if I fancied it (I didn't).

Ultimately though, if you're not comfortable with it, just don't provide them.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.