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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitter requesting beers?

149 replies

N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:11

Sorry if this is a well trodden path but I'm fairly new to MN. I've arranged a babysitter (family member) for our 2 year old DS tomorrow night. I've just text to see if they want any snacks getting in and they've asked for beers. As they're babysitting I wouldn't have expected them to be drinking. I am pretty uptight about things so don't want to kick up a fuss over nothing but I don't really like the idea of this. AIBU?

OP posts:
ILikeyourHairyHands · 22/04/2017 00:46

FWIW, I always leave booze for the baby (sitter), I think it's a courtesy, and I trust them not to get wankered.

LordAnthony · 22/04/2017 02:30

"Becks Blue" Great idea. It actually tastes quite nice

Not a great idea, in my opinion.

Because a) it.tastes vile, nothing like real beer (Erdinger Alcohol free and Bitberger drive are actually very nice drinks on their own right, but again aren't the same as drinking real beer)

B) when someone has asked for a beer and you go out and get them alcohol free beer, it looks very pointed. it is patronising and infantilises the person doing you a favour. It screams: I don't trust you to drink responsibly. If you trust them enough to look after your child, you should trust they'll drink moderately. A pack of 4 San Miguel bottles is the equivalent of 2 pints -give or take. Are you telling me that you think a man in late middle age is going to be puking and off his nut off the back of two pints over the course of an evening?

C) Self interest. If after a trip to your house to do you a favour, they're greeted with a puritanical response to a request for a couple of beers, next time if I'm weighing up babysitting ass favour or a night in front of my own TV with a beers and a curry, I'd be more inclined to pick the latter and tell you i was too busy to baby sit.

sykadelic · 22/04/2017 03:12

I'd think they either mean as "payment" so to take and drink at home, or a joke.

My response would be: "haha very funny! If you're serious I can get you something to take home but in the meantime, do you have a preference for drink while you're here, like coke vs. sprite or something?"

WildImaginings · 22/04/2017 03:41

Jesus fucking wept, I'm surprised anyone is willing to do you a favour.

And I'm shaking my head at the cries of 'no way, tell them if a drink is so important then you'll find another babysitter'...

Yeah, go on then. Let them get back to their own home where they can enjoy a few beers and a takeaway in peace. I'm sure they'd be only too happy to oblige. And then it'll be left to you to fork out £10/hour for a babysitter.

berkshyre · 22/04/2017 04:08

I see no harm in 1-2 drinks while babysitting. What are people worried might happen?? Confused

When I read the title I thought it was a local teen asking for beers but a 50 year old relative deserves a drink or two.

I say this as someone quite uptight about alcohol.

StealthPolarBear · 22/04/2017 07:23

What have you decided op? Are they getting the beers or not?

acquiescence · 22/04/2017 07:31

It is fine, really not a big deal. I am thinking a pack of 4 bottles, not an 8 pack of Stella. Not a big deal at all unless one of your children has significant additional needs/an illness and requires medication etc or the relative is driving.

steppedonlego · 22/04/2017 08:25

Completely depends on the personality of your relative. Some of my relatives and friends I would have absolutely zero problem with leaving a few beers or a bottle of wine knowing they would drink responsibly and still be able to look after DD. Other relatives... well. I probably wouldn't ask them to babysit anyway.

Trifleorbust · 22/04/2017 08:34

If you had hired this person I would agree with you. As it is I think YABU. They are doing you a favour. If they want to have a couple of beers and that is unacceptable to you, find someone else to look after your kids.

JigglyTuff · 22/04/2017 12:10

Biffsboys* MNers are poised for action at all times. If you're in a couple, one of you must remain sober at all times. There must always be a full tank of petrol in the car (obtained only when there are no children in the car). And your children are not allowed out of your sight until they're 20 when suddenly they're supposed to know how to look after themselves.

2rebecca · 22/04/2017 16:46

I think there's a huge difference between getting drunk when looking after kids (your own or someone else's) and having a couple of units, which most parents I know would have with their meal whilst looking after their own kids.
Agree with JigglyTuff about some of the views I see on here though. Some mumsnetters seem to inhabit a parallel universe.

Dothehokeykokey · 22/04/2017 17:20

Those of you who object to the babysitter having a beer, I assume when you have a babysitter at least one of you doesn't have anything at all to drink (despite having got a babysitter) so that you are fully sober and prepared to deal with the million to one shot "disaster" that might beat dealing with once you take back responsibility for the kids

Cammysmoma · 22/04/2017 17:34

Dothehokeycokey - I completely understand your point. However, responsible parents know their limits when caring for their children, no parent I know would drink excessive amounts and then be around their kids. I think if it's for example a younger family member who doesn't have kids then it could be a bad idea as they may not understand the importance of being responsible for a child.

PuppyMonkey · 22/04/2017 17:39

Depends on a number of factors:

how many beers?
How experienced are they with kids?
How well do they know your DC?
What will your DC be doing, asleep the whole time or etc?
How are they getting there and back?

kingscrossnoodle · 22/04/2017 17:42

It's pathetic that this thread was even started, let alone kept going. Family member babysitting a presumably sleeping child, free of charge would appreciate a couple of beers whilst doing so. Big whoop. jeezo

Yup. This.

Shopkinsdoll · 22/04/2017 17:48

Personally I don't see anything wrong with one or two beers. Put kids to bed, watch tv with a few refreshments. Don't see the slightest bit wrong with this!

Applesandpears23 · 22/04/2017 17:51

Depends on the drinker. My Dad will have a glass of wine or a beer whilst babysitting and then stop (probably because he drives home). My inlaws would get smashed so I put all our booze in the garage and say sorry I haven't got anything in.

Darbs76 · 22/04/2017 17:51

If over 18 I'd get a 4 pack of cans max. I don't drink now but if they are doing you a favour and kids in bed a few cans won't make them drunk I wouldn't think.

PurpleDaisies · 22/04/2017 18:47

However, responsible parents know their limits when caring for their children, no parent I know would drink excessive amounts and then be around their kids. I think if it's for example a younger family member who doesn't have kids then it could be a bad idea as they may not understand the importance of being responsible for a child.

That's right, people without children have no idea about being responsible. Hmm

There are irresponsible parents out there. There are plenty of non parents who are capable of looking after children without getting hammered.

Mombie2016 · 22/04/2017 18:58

I would say no.

But I was raised by alcoholics and ended up briefly married to one so I have huge issues around drinking and being in charge of children. I hate it.

ExH isn't allowed unsupervised access to our baby DS due to his alcoholism- well any access now as he never turned up to the supervised stuff - but his other ex has no issue with him dragging their teenage DS from pillar to post on the odd occasion he can be arsed to turn up to fetch him Hmm His sister also regularly buys him beer so he will baby sit her child whilst she goes out...

But whatevs. Personally I wouldn't risk it.

bigchris · 22/04/2017 19:02

unpaid family member, presumably over 18? i'd have got beers in without being asked

Agree !

IloveBanff · 22/04/2017 20:14

I can't imagine what this 50yr old family member would think if they knew a bunch of strangers on the internet were being asked whether they should be allowed a couple of beers when they babysit!

Cammysmoma · 22/04/2017 20:28

@purpledaisies
"That's right, people without children have no idea about being responsible"

If you actually read my comment you would see that I said RESPONSIBLE parents wouldn't drink excessive amounts, I am very, very well aware there are irresponsible parents out there. Also I most definitely did not say that a non parent is not capable of being responsible...? I don't think that at all 😂
And.. i did say IF the babysitter was a YOUNGER family member (I.e a teenager) then in my opinion I wouldn't like that. However in previous comments on this thread I have said, it depends on who the family member is. No need to get all up yourself :)

PurpleDaisies · 22/04/2017 20:30

"Up myself"? What are you, fifteen? Biscuit

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