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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitter requesting beers?

149 replies

N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:11

Sorry if this is a well trodden path but I'm fairly new to MN. I've arranged a babysitter (family member) for our 2 year old DS tomorrow night. I've just text to see if they want any snacks getting in and they've asked for beers. As they're babysitting I wouldn't have expected them to be drinking. I am pretty uptight about things so don't want to kick up a fuss over nothing but I don't really like the idea of this. AIBU?

OP posts:
SpunBodgeSquarepants · 21/04/2017 19:27

Hmm, tough one. As they're doing you a favour I'd probably get a couple of beers in. I'm a single parent and sometimes will enjoy a glass of wine or two once DS is in bed - so I can't really judge.

AssembleTheMinions · 21/04/2017 19:27

I would be fairly unimpressed if I was doing you a favour and you told me to not to drink. That said, I would have a max of 2 glasses of wine and I certainly wouldn't ask you to get any in for me.

rollonthesummer · 21/04/2017 19:28

An over 18 year old babysitting my kids unpaid would get a few beers from me, tbh!

justmeee · 21/04/2017 19:28

They're doing it for you for free? Surely you should have got something nice prepped for them anyway as they are giving up their Saturday night. Two beers would be fine, a keg less so Wink

JigglyTuff · 21/04/2017 19:29

I buy my family members wine or beer when they're babysitting for free.

If I want a stone cold sober, crb checked professional, I pay £10/hr.

ImperialBlether · 21/04/2017 19:31

If it was someone who was responsible and a bit older, I'd buy beer, but if they were teenage I wouldn't (but I would pay them.)

XiCi · 21/04/2017 19:34

A family member doing you a favour, free babysitting?? I'd have got in pizzas, snacks and beer without having to be asked. And to say you'll get them and then pretend you forgot is a twattish thing to do by the way

Nospringflower · 21/04/2017 19:37

I don't get people's paranoia that a few drinks and they will be incapable of looking after a child.

As someone else said, i would be getting them in their tea, snacks snd some beer/wine/soft drinks to say thanks and try and make it a pleasant experience.

Otherwise pay someone.

shadesofwinter · 21/04/2017 19:37

I'd be happily buying them the beer in this situation.

tissuesosoft · 21/04/2017 19:38

Will they be driving home after babysitting? Personally I wouldn't encourage the drinking if it's going to put them over the limit

5moreminutes · 21/04/2017 19:39

How old are they? How many beers?

If it's a proper adult asking for a couple of beers it's fair enough as you aren't paying them - they are giving up their evening as a favour.

If it's a 17 year old asking for a 6 pack then no.

When I used to babysit for a friend as a favour she always left me a bottle of wine ... Only ever had one glass as I was driving home apart from anything, but it's a nice mark of appreciation for an adult doing you a favour for nothing, especially if you won't be reciprocating. If it's a trustworthy mature adult you'll look like an entitled parsimonious prude refusing one or two beers, though if you suspect they aim to get drink you need to organise a proper paid babysitting service instead.

Judydreamsofhorses · 21/04/2017 19:39

I often babysit for a friend, free, and she always leaves wine and snacks. I have a couple of glasses - no more than two - and am still absolutely fine to look after the kids if they woke up. (I don't drive anyway, so would need a taxi if anything happened.)

kel1493 · 21/04/2017 19:40

I wouldn't expect a family member to not drink when looking after my child. As long as they knew their limits and didn't get drunk.

alltouchedout · 21/04/2017 19:40

I'd leave beer for my brother and SIL if they were babysitting. I'd trust them absolutely to have only one or two each over a few hours. If I didn't have that sort of faith in them I wouldn't be asking them to babysit anyway.

peukpokicuzo · 21/04/2017 19:41

When it's an employee being paid they are expected to stay sober and vigilant.
A family member doing it for free as a favour is certainly allowed a drink or two. Get in a couple of beers. Literally just a couple. If you don't trust the family member to know their limits and not get so pissed they fall unconscious then do not allow them to babysit and pay someone.

Judydreamsofhorses · 21/04/2017 19:42

Just to add, I used to babysit for extra money as a student and the parents would actually always suggest I help myself to wine/beer when the kids were in bed. I never did, but it was offered every time.

SabineUndine · 21/04/2017 19:43

I'd get him a tinny and say 'you're beer's in the fridge' then scarper😜

Original poster
N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:46

Yes I was going to get them something in food and snacks but as I'm not a big drinker I didn't expect them to request beers but Like I said, I can be uptight about these things. It just took me by surprise

OP posts:
ItsOut · 21/04/2017 19:47

It wouldn't bother me if it was just a beer. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If it was several then that's another matter.

MatildaTheCat · 21/04/2017 19:48

Id leave a couple of cans and a stodgy pizza. They are doing you a favour, it's different with paid sitters, you can call the shots.

If you don't trust the person you shouldn't have them sitting at all.

Floralnomad · 21/04/2017 19:48

Just get a couple of bottles and stick them in the fridge , I'm absolutely amazed that so many people are saying they don't expect a family mamber baby sitting to have a small amount of drink .

Crispbutty · 21/04/2017 19:48

If I knew the family member well and knew that a couple of cans of beer wouldn't get them drunk then it wouldn't bother me at all with a 2yo.

witsender · 21/04/2017 19:51

Family member doing it as a favour is totally different to a paid sitter. Presumably you trust them with your children, so presumably can trust them not to get plastered?

IDontLoveGlitterGlitterLovesMe · 21/04/2017 19:52

How old are they and will they be on their own?

Also were they asked or did they volunteer to look after DS?

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite · 21/04/2017 19:54

Well, I personally can't handle alcohol (I probably could still look after a child if I had 2 small bottles with a meal. But I wouldn't feel c0omfortable doing so...)

However, I do think it depends on whether that family member knows their limits etc.

If that was for example my father? I wouldn't think twice. My mother? no way.

2 small bottles in the fridge?

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