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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitter requesting beers?

149 replies

N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:11

Sorry if this is a well trodden path but I'm fairly new to MN. I've arranged a babysitter (family member) for our 2 year old DS tomorrow night. I've just text to see if they want any snacks getting in and they've asked for beers. As they're babysitting I wouldn't have expected them to be drinking. I am pretty uptight about things so don't want to kick up a fuss over nothing but I don't really like the idea of this. AIBU?

OP posts:
mickeysminnie · 21/04/2017 19:54

Maybe they know you are 'uptight' about these kind of things and are pulling your leg to get a rise out of you?

Original poster
N0tNowBernard · 21/04/2017 19:55

They are approx 50 and will be on their own.

OP posts:
2rebecca · 21/04/2017 19:56

If I was doing it as a favour for a family member then a pint of beer seems fine to me. If I was expected to be TT and was doing it for free I probably wouldn't do it again.

XiCi · 21/04/2017 19:58

It's really not a strange request OP. Sounds like they're doing you a big favour giving up a Saturday night to babysit for you. It's not much to ask for, a couple of beers while they're sat on their own in front of your TV!

WomblingThree · 21/04/2017 19:58

I'm literally the last person to snark on anyone drinking, but I would find it a bit weird that someone would ask for beer. I mean they wil be there what, 3-4 hours?

I'm contradicting myself, because I would leave beer/wine/vodka, as that's what we have in, and I would have zero problem with my babysitter drinking it. It's just asking seems odd, like they can't go one evening without.

When I was well under 18, the people I babysat for (lots of families) all left me pizza, chocolate, crisps and beer. And paid me. 😳

PurpleDaisies · 21/04/2017 19:58

bernard do you trust them to be responsible and not get drunk?

Bluetrews25 · 21/04/2017 19:59

Can you say that you will get them a couple to take home and have later, with your sincere thanks, as you'd feel much more relaxed on your night out if they weren't drinking while 'sitting'.
That way, you are happy, and they are aware how you feel, but can have the reward later? Win:win!

Dothehokeykokey · 21/04/2017 20:00

Say you got a four pack of 5% (fairly strong) lager and were out 19:30 to midnight.

What the hell do you think will happen if they drink them (assuming it's an adult and not a 14 year old)

BertieBotts · 21/04/2017 20:01

I think as you can see it's common for parents to be relaxed about this kind of thing, but it's also your child and perfectly fine to say that you'd prefer they didn't drink. I wouldn't say you forgot to get beer. That makes it seem like you're okay with it, which you're not.

It's your child and your boundaries.

motherofdaemons · 21/04/2017 20:04

I'd get them one or two. They won't get drunk and they are doing you a favour.

befuddledgardener · 21/04/2017 20:05

Can't see the problem with one beer. Don't you have a glass of wine sometimes when the kids are in bed?

befuddledgardener · 21/04/2017 20:06

Yes or tell them you'll get a four pack as a thankyou when out

WeAllHaveWings · 21/04/2017 20:09

If you can't trust them to be responsible with the amount they drink while babysitting, how can you trust them with your child at all?

CottonSock · 21/04/2017 20:11

Chill out and let them have a beer

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite · 21/04/2017 20:11

What the hell do you think will happen if they drink them (assuming it's an adult and not a 14 year old)

If they're like me? They'd be incredibly drunk. (not tipsy, but genuinely drunk...)

PurpleDaisies · 21/04/2017 20:13

feed I bet you wouldn't ask for a beer while babysitting. If the op trusts the family member to babysit, they presumably trust them to be sensible about it.

XiCi · 21/04/2017 20:13

I think if I had asked for a couple of beers for the evening and was told I'd be given them as a thank you when leaving I'd be mightily pissed off. I certainly would never offer to babysit again

Dothehokeykokey · 21/04/2017 20:18

"I think if I had asked for a couple of beers for the evening and was told I'd be given them as a thank you when leaving I'd be mightily pissed off. I certainly would never offer to babysit again"

I would be seriously pissed off and offended that someone didn't trust my own judgement, would never do them a favour again, and would think they were a bit bonkers tbh.

I can't believe people saying a 50 year old shouldn't be allowed a few drinks when stuck in someone else's house on a Saturday night as a favour.

XiCi · 21/04/2017 20:19

I think it would be pretty rare for a healthy adult to he pissed from less than 4 beers.

You must know your family member well OP. I presume you trust them and they're not the type to be downing shots and snorting lines from a strippers thigh as soon as you leave the house Wink

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite · 21/04/2017 20:19

purple

Well, I actually don't know. I don't like beer but I do have wine on some occasions. So, if there was some around I might drink a small (and I mean small!) glass. Especially if I was also something to eat...

But no, I wouldn't ask. I wouldn't even think of it, tbh...

As I said, it depends on the person.

Whilst I do trust my mother I definitely don't trust her around alcohol. I would certainly offer beer (or the contents of DH's alcohol "thing"...) to my father (or sister IL, for example...)

Ethylred · 21/04/2017 20:19

This is a relative, who is doing you a favour. You have a choice: buy the beer, or become the family joke and kiss goodbye to any relative ever doing you a favour again.

danTDM · 21/04/2017 20:20

Idiot. You.

It is not a babysitter at all, it is a 50 year old relative doing you a favour, asking for a beer,

do them a favour. Pay a teenager and buy coke. Hmm

justmeee · 21/04/2017 20:20

Tbh beer isn't even enough. No one actually wants to babysit, they're getting nothing for it and it's bloody Saturday.

danTDM · 21/04/2017 20:26

OP wasting everybodies time with her dramatics Hmm

Italiangreyhound · 21/04/2017 20:28

N0tNowBernard ( a brilliant book by the way).

Just be up front with them "Beers, no I meant snacks to eat. We don't expect a babysitter to be drinking while looking after our baby." smillie face.

Or call them up and basically say the same thing to them.

They are most likely to say 'ah no, of course not.' but if they start an argument about their right to drink beer just tell them you will look for another baby sitter.

I rarely drink but of course do drink when I am in charge of my own kids. So I am not super uptight about alcohol. But if someone is looking after your kids for you then you don't want them under the influence of alcohol, beer singular or beers plural.

If they don't get that, maybe get a different babysitter.

Ethylred "This is a relative, who is doing you a favour. You have a choice: buy the beer, or become the family joke and kiss goodbye to any relative ever doing you a favour again."

That's a really sad view of families.

If they can't sit in your house for an evening without a beer they have other problems to deal with.

We set up a babysitting circle from my NCT group. We agreed to swap with each other so other people looking after each others babies/children were all quite familiar with child care. We wanted to help each other out because we wanted to be helped out at other times.

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