(Trigger Warning!!!) To think labour pain is not respected by healthcare professionals?

[Goldfishshoals]

Warning: you probably don't want to read this if pregnant/about to give birth!

Three weeks ago I gave birth. I had back labour - truly agonising. The pains started on Friday, but because they were about five-six minutes apart they were arbitrarily considered 'pre-labour' rather than actual labour (despite hurting as much as 'real' labour pains). They continued like that for four days, in which time I obviously got no sleep. I called the midwife for help several times and was fobbed off with 'take paracetamol', which unsurprisingly did bugger all for the intense stabbing sensation in my back every contraction. After one call in which I cried they let me come in (30 mins car ride there and back in pain!) and have a single dose of coedine (barely took the edge off) before sending me home.

On Tuesday my waters broke so I was finally allowed in the hospital for monitoring - I pretty much immediately begged for pain relief. 'of course you can have some!' said the midwife breezily before buggering off for fifteen minutes leaving me in pain. Then she came back and said she just had to ask a few questions then 'we'd see' about getting me some pain relief... I did eventually get given some gas and air.

My contractions never became more frequent on their own and eventually I ended up being induced with epidural - which wore off just in time for me to be fully dialated. First they said they'd get me more - then they said it was too late and gave me gas and air - which they took off me again when it was time for pushing. I begged for pain relief (for anything!) and was ignored. I struggled to push but the pain was overwhelming and stopped me being able to push fully. Baby eventually delivered with forceps, and episiotomy which I could barely feel in contrast to the agony I had been in.

I had third degree tear which needed stitching, and suddenly everything changed. I had an anaesthesitist numb me fully, and keep checking my pain levels for the theatre, I had a few days in hospital with three types of pain relief thrown at me, and I was sent home with boxes of unnecessary coedine etc, for the incredibly minor soreness of the stitches.

When I compare other hospital visits (for being run over by a car as a teen, and a more recent dvt) it's a similar story. My pain was taken a lot more seriously and I was given better pain relief much more quickly, despite them not being nearly as painful as my back labour.

I realise not everyone has back labour, and some people have much less painful births (lucky cows) but surely having high levels of pain isn't that unique? So why wasn't it treated seriously? The only thing I can think of is that labour pain just isn't respected. Aibu to think this?

I think labour pain is so variable it is hard to say. I have 4 kids and have everything from a labour that was painfree/drug free to an emergency section after 36 hrs in agony with a nasty forceps on the way. Other than the fact that I always ended up with a baby (Thank the Lord) there wasn't anything similar about the experiences.

I don't think hospitals always deal with pain well, I went to hospital with a broken ankle and was forced to walk to x ray. As I hobbled back to A and E in agony, holding onto the wall I was met by a nurse with a wheelchair and abject apologies because they had just seen the xray and realised I wasn't exaggerating.

Agree this should be an MN campaign.

I remember gasping "but it hurts so much!!" to the midwife (I had a very fast agonising labour with DD2 and the taxi they send gas n air in for a homebirth didn't arrive in time!) in between contractions and she looked me straight in the eye and simply said "I know it does" with such empathy and understanding it I'll probably not forget that moment, she was fantastic.

Is this it, avi ?

www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

Batteriesallgone
Of course oromorph is essentially Heroin. Morphione and diamorphine are very closely related chemically and effically. The risk (or lack thereof) to baby is based on dose and proximity to time of delivery.
OP
I think you are right that pain levels are considered 'acceptable' in labour that would not be at any other time. I think the severity of the pain is perceived differently because during labour your body is undergoing a transformative but natural process, rather than the pain being a sign of damage or injury as it usually is, and also most of the medication available to ameliorate pain is CNS active and therefore can't be given at high doses in case it affects the baby or too late in labour in case it affects the baby. The focus is on delivering a healthy child.
I agree with PP though that there would be many more better ways of pain management if men had babies, as all the main pain drugs were invented well before women had a significant voice in the medical/pharmaceutical field.

morphine not morphione doh!

I completely agree and think it borders on barbaric. There's no way if someone was recovering from surgery in a non labour ward, that they would be expected to get up and about and tend to a newborn/themselves in the way that new mums are. And often without accompanying pain relief.

When I had dc1 I pressed the buzzer for help a few times during the night and got some sauce from the midwife about it. Err, I can't fucking move you muppet how am I expected to change multiple nappies?

Dh, on being kicked out after visiting time - when I'd been in labour for 20 hours and ds had only been born 4 hours - told a midwife he was worried about me. He was told 'well she's just had a baby '. Yes, exactly his point...

Multiple times I was made to walk between rooms/wards, both in agonising labour and afterwards with very bad stitches etc. Why couldn't I have been offered a wheelchair?

I had a horrendous ectopic last year resulting in surgery and the look I got in the labour ward when I requested a wheelchair to take me out the hospital (literally just the wheelchair, dh would be pushing me) was insane. I'd just had emergency abdominal surgery for fuck sake! They discharged with me peppermint capsules...

I think the point the pp made about heroin/morphine was that the instructor was exploiting heroin's negative connations in order to try to reduce demand. Not ok.

Definitely a woman thing and not just related to childbirth. How many of us have ongoing fights to be taken seriously about any gynaecological problem? We see many threads about it on here because we aren't believed or told it's normal.

Yes thank you for seeing my point Michael.

You cannot compare oramorph to street heroin. It's fucking ridiculous. Of course there are only a limited range of painkillers from a scientific point of view - for a midwife to say they are the same without giving any context is shocking.

I had to explain to my friend about the fact that oramorph wears off and so won't affect the state baby is born in if given a sufficient time before birth. Therefore it's only indicated if you aren't dilated beyond a certain point etc etc. The midwife had told them it was heroin, and they would be giving their baby heroin.

'Of course oramorph is essentially heroin' FFS. Of course it's not. You might as well compare one glass of Pinot Grigio to getting wasted on neat vodka.

YANBU! I had over 4 days of agonising 'pre labour' contractions too. Also fobbed off with paracetamol and codeine. It's been 18 months and I'm still not emotionally recovered from all that happened. Mainly because after 4 days in pain and no sleep I was not able to do anything to manage or control my pain myself. In some ways I was 'lucky' that I did at least manage to get an epidural once I finally got admitted but that ended in a cascade of interventions finally with a late and traumatic emergency c section. It took me almost a year to bond with my DS and I'm in tears again from thinking it though again now.

My MIL is an ex midwife (admittedly she's not practiced since the early 1960's) and was staying to look after DD, she was very surprised that I had neither been admitted or given any real pain relief. The treatment I got in the 4 days before I was admitted was diabolical and bordered on the hostile. I just haven't had the head space to make a complaint.

I hope you manage to put it behind you and enjoy your Baby.

Totally agree. I had quick labours with both of mine, 4hrs all in. With dd1 my waters broke up on the ward and I went from nothing to full on labour straight away, no build up of contractions, so I was in agony when I got down to the delivery suite. I asked for pain relief straight away and the MW said 'don't be ridiculous, stop making such a fuss, you'll be hopeless when it really gets painful'. I'll never forget those words. I hated her and she blighted my entire labour. MW for DD2 was a world apart and fabulous.

Yy patrician, I also had trouble with a gynae refusing to see I had a prolapse. Took me 18 months to get the courage to ask for a second opinion, who was shocked at how bad it was.

Just had it operated on recently, four years after the second opinion doc agreed it was there. Four bloody years to wait for an op while I'm left doubley incontinent

YANBU.

And of course it'd be totally different if it was men. They would not be made to suffer agonising pain and then left on a ward with six other women to try and establish breastfeeding and look after a newborn!

I had two sections and was given a prescription for morphine for afterwards (which I didn't need or use) , seems so ridiculous that women in labour are only given gas and air!

Six hours post section the nurse was surprised that I had to sit down immediately after being told to try and stand Because, you know, you're fit as a sodding fiddle six hours post major op.

Be a different story too if I would have had a hysterectomy.

YANB at all U. As PP have said, I think it's because it only affects women - and there's fundamentally a view that you in some way 'asked for it'. The attitude would be totally different if men had to do it too.

I don't mean to disparage midwives and their abilities at all. But when I was in an accident when I was a teenager and I sustained a nasty injury to my lower lip, I had a consultant facial surgeon stitching my lip up.

Tear your fanny in labour, and you get a student midwife trussing you up.

Men wouldn't stand for that with their precious penises.

Four years, beyond

It's totally unacceptable.

That's four fucking years! 2013!!!

I agree with all the previous points. There is a long list of "just" women's issues. From period pain, through any kind of pregnancy symptom, labour, incontinence, to the"just" bloating caused by ovarian cancer.

I'm sorry about your experience OP. And no you are not being unreasonable.

YANBU. I had back labour too, ended up lying to the midwife about how far apart my contractions were so I could get into hospital. Crying down the phone didn't work. By the time I was headed to hospital I couldn't sit or lie down with the pain and was vomiting. Even when I got into hospital they assumed I was exaggerating the pain so kept sending me to walk the corridors. When they checked me I was 6cm and they finally moved me to the delivery suite where I got gas and air. It was a good birth overall but needlessly painful. Really scared of having another, especially as I know multiple back labours are common.

You can't compare pain in labour to pain for other reasons, simply because of the potential impact on the baby. If the drugs are taken close enough to delivery, they won't have had a chance to cross the placenta. However, if taken earlier, they will.

My experience with my first (fast labour) was the opposite - they kept trying to push drugs on me. I think this was to make me more "compliant" as I was screaming (great method of pain relief) and wanted to remain in an upright position, which wouldn't have been possible with an epidural. Mind you, I know I was lucky to have relatively easy labours.

Perhaps a controversial thing to say but think it might be a peculiarly British attitude to women and all things gynaelogical too (not saying women in under-developed countries don't go through far greater tribulations and dangers of course though). In the European countries where i have lived and where I have friends, except in rare cases, they just don't allow women to go on labouring for hours and hours to the point where an emergency c-section is necessary. Yes, there is more medical intervention but there is also far more pain relief too. I think the British way is barbaric. It's a wierd mix of misogyny and cost-saving.

'Of course oramorph is essentially heroin' FFS. Of course it's not. You might as well compare one glass of Pinot Grigio to getting wasted on neat vodka.
Well no: one unit of alcohol is one unit of alcohol whether it is from wine or vodka. As I said, dose and timing is everything.

I think it's a woman thing too, I had a cycling accident and immediately realised I was pretty badly injured, I couldn't put and weight at all on one leg- it was totally dead- and my arm was in agony. Paramedics were adamant I hadn't broken anything then refused to believe the gas and air wasn't working. Got to the hospital and was give paracetamol and left on a trolley in the corridor for 4 hours. Finally examined by a senior nurse practitioner who was lifting my leg right up in the air despite me howling in pain repeatedly. Was adamant no breaks anywhere. Didn't want to x-ray bit eventually agreed

I'd been there 7 hours when they finally reviewed the xrays and discovered my left knee had a hideous fracture, my right elbow was fractured too. It was about another 4 hours before they actually gave me tramadol.

To give an idea of severity I was then in hospital for 7 days- they wanted to keep me for 3 weeks - released on a zimmer and wheelchair and non weight bearing for 12 weeks.

But I only needed paracetamol and was exaggerating the pain. Clearly

sweepingchange I haven't any experience of maternity care in other European countries but you certainly aren't the first person I've heard say this. It sounds like a number of other European countries take a much more 'mum-centric' approach and embrace the idea that a woman may want, you know, a sex life and a continent bladder after childbirth.

May be 'grass is greener' syndrome but I've heard it often.

I think the British way is barbaric. It's a wierd mix of misogyny and cost-saving.

Sadly, I agree.

We go as far as designing birthing centers that do not provide epidural, you need to be transferred to the nearest hospital (which might be next door or miles away) if you need one, or you are deemed worthy enough to deserve one.

It's not without consequences to allow a woman to suffer too much, you don't miraculously recover and forget once the baby has popped out.