AIBU to be grossed out ?Autogynaphila and Mrs Goss

[Pollypickypocket]

Not quite sure if my reaction is justified to be honest. Have just been in a conversation with a psychologist friend about feminism, trans issues and various theories of the advantages of gender rolls in evolutionary theory etc - wide ranging and pretty interesting as we are both gender critical but have differing views on biological aspects. He however raised the issue of late transitioning autogynaphils and how part of the fetish is being acknowledged as female/feminine/sexually attractive. I was sort of aware of autogynaphila but didnt honestly click what it ment or that it was a sexual fetish rather than an identity issue.
On Facebook I am member of Mrs Gloss a make up group and it's just occurred to me that its actually being used on occasion by autogynaphils to fuel their sexual fetishes if what he says is correct and it's really freaked me out to be honest.

i personally will scroll past anything i cant be nice about - but sometimes will post constructive points, but in a nice way as

i like the way you have xxxx, have you thought maybe xxx might work better in the xxx ?

A lot of the time its how you say it

original point,... i dont care if someone wants to wank over a sentence i have written, as most of them dont, and if it makes them feel better i dont care about the 1 or 2 that might get their rocks off that way.... once i type on a screen, then its out there.

Is it any different someone getting their rocks off to someone making money off what you write as per Daily Mail 'journos' ? do you write what you want or live in fear that someone might use it in a way you didnt intend for it to be used?

That's not quite it though. It's more like being deceived into joining in someone's fetish/sex play. Like being objectified because you wear a nurse's uniform, or having a photo taken of you when you are unaware. Getting sexual attention under false pretences. You are not a willing participant. It's not nice, the site owner agrees that although it doesn't happen often, when it does it is not nice.

I'm not afraid of people wanking over my words it's invasion of what for me is sadly a very happy place - it is also an uncomfortable part of my real life realisation
that one of my 'friend's from a women's group is probably agp and I have spent quite a few hours helping them choose clothes and finding shoes in a size 10 in an attempt at being nice and inclusive.

that one of my 'friend's from a women's group is probably agp and I have spent quite a few hours helping them choose clothes and finding shoes in a size 10 in an attempt at being nice and inclusive.

and your basis for this? probably you have written them off with no proof and made yourself 'feel icky' for probably?

Why would anyone post with their real name? And to post with FB link is beyond stupid (sorry off point)

But how can you be upset and offended by something that you don't know is happening?! Someone's relative on the ward sees me in a nurse's uniform, goes home and masturbates while fantasising about me - unless he tells me the next visiting time then I don't know and therefore I can't be offended!

Same with wanking over something I've written on the internet; I don't know and I don't care.

Just the other day a transgender-identified male person on Mumsnet brought back a zombie thread just so he could display a photo of himself en femme and talk about how his wife indulged his fantasies. MNHQ deleted it quickly, of course

Is that the end of the world

Maybe wrong forum completely but not a crime

I'm not upset or offended - I just find it grubby.

How is it actually hurting you, though, if someone gets sexually aroused by having a 'friendly' online conversation with you? If you don't like a person or a topic of conversation you can simply ignore - there is no difference at all in the impact it might have on your life if the person wanks over your comment, bursts into tears over your comment, or feels cheered and validated all day over your comment.

This is not the same as being concerned over the type of posters (male, female, genderqueer or anything else) who sometimes show up on MN and either coax or con other people into sharing personal stories on topics that are painful, humiliating or distressing (bereavement or other trauma). Some of those vampire-troll types are journalists digging for stories, some are attention-seekers, some are crap novelists seeking 'material... and some quite possibly get erotic jollies out of hearing stories of suffering.

There's this lingering mindset in some quarters that sexuality is so inherently disgusting that anyone with preferences that are slightly unusual must be actively prevented from indulging them in any way possible, even when no harm could possibly be being done to anyone else (TBH seeing a person dressed up as a dog or a teddybear or Luke Fucking Skywalker on the bus is no big deal, whether they're sexually aroused by it or doing it for World Book Day. A strangely-dressed person is more likely to be an actual nuisance if the funny outfit is being worn For Charity, because then they are going to impinge on your day...)

Margot, this is more like someone hanging around in hospitals in order to see women in uniform.

It all sounds a bit seedy.

Personally I wouldn't want to be wank-fodder.

But perhaps I'm all prudish and intolerant.....

Mind you, I spend a lot of time writing words that I want people to wank over. (Not on MN, calm down before you hurt yourselves).

I might find it less seedy if I were a) intending to get someone off and b) getting paid

Ah right thanks VanHalen. Not on FB. (This is one of the reasons why)

If it were an anonymous forum it would bother me less but people and especially young women post with real life Facebook accounts - there are not millions of threads and Mrs G has said they are on it and the admin on there are usually very good at carring through any admin policy

MrsG thanks for responding and I'm glad you're aware of the issue.

I do still delve into the page - although had to stop actively following - and I'd enjoy it much more with out the few oddballs that take up a disproportionate amount of time.

I dont go on Gloss much anymore, but i didn't notice a couple of very obviously men posting and lots.of 'great legs hun' comments. Tbh i just steered clear. I don't know anything about this person, whether they are genuinely trans or just trying to get their rocks off, but either way i wasn't really that interested in the right on arse licking.

Don't really know why people would be that bothered about it though, if you dont like what you see then just scroll past?

OfficerVH I know the group's not seedy - just the behaviour :)

OK pickle but unless they're wearing a sign saying "Nurses turn me on..." then I'm not going to know.

I get that there are posters on this Goss site who seem to seek gratification in this way. I don't even go on the site, but personally I wouldn't offer compliments unless I genuinely meant them. So if I saw a man who looked like Les Dawson in his Cissie & Ada incarnation, then I'm not going to say "You look lovely/have fabulous legs" etc etc. However if I did give out a genuine compliment, then I wouldn't give a hoot if the recipient then has a wank about it because I wouldn't know (and obviously I'm not interested in knowing). I've made the comment, it's out there, and I have no control over how others react to it.

For those who say they wouldn't care about someone being aroused by their posts or similar, would you feel the same about a 13 year old daughter? I've noticed that a lot of the respondents to the posters I'm thinking of do tend to be fairly young, so likely a lot less aware and just trying to be nice.

I didn't think 13 year old can post on mrsgloss.