AIBU to be grossed out ?Autogynaphila and Mrs Goss

[Pollypickypocket]

Not quite sure if my reaction is justified to be honest. Have just been in a conversation with a psychologist friend about feminism, trans issues and various theories of the advantages of gender rolls in evolutionary theory etc - wide ranging and pretty interesting as we are both gender critical but have differing views on biological aspects. He however raised the issue of late transitioning autogynaphils and how part of the fetish is being acknowledged as female/feminine/sexually attractive. I was sort of aware of autogynaphila but didnt honestly click what it ment or that it was a sexual fetish rather than an identity issue.
On Facebook I am member of Mrs Gloss a make up group and it's just occurred to me that its actually being used on occasion by autogynaphils to fuel their sexual fetishes if what he says is correct and it's really freaked me out to be honest.

I'm sure most women on a FB page don't mind at all giving advice/compliments to a man who is genuinely just trying out different looks and wants opinions. But if he's there purely for sexual kicks it's a bit creepy, IMO. The difficulty would be in telling the difference between the two.

I'm dyslexic so apologies to the spelling and grammar police

I'm a member too.
It's never really occurred to me to be honest.
I like Mrs Gloss mostly because everyone is so supportive of one another.

Aaah, thank you Beyond .

Silence Of The Lambs quote

I guess based on what I've read here, you're not BU at all. But how can it be limited/policed on there (genuine question - not trying to be goady)?

I don't think it really can be whooo.

Just the other day a transgender-identified male person on Mumsnet brought back a zombie thread just so he could display a photo of himself en femme and talk about how his wife indulged his fantasies. MNHQ deleted it quickly, of course. I wonder if perhaps we'd all understand the problem more if things like that weren't deleted.

"Who cares if they're getting off" is stupid and short-sighted. Men have a ridiculous sense of entitlement around sex and masturbation and fantasy (see the relationships forum for anyone who doesn't believe this!). These men are only playing nicey-nice on forums with their "oh please love me" stuff until they are rejected or turned away. Then the abuse and vitriol starts, or the guilt-inducing "why would you turn away a poor lowly transwoman?"

Most of us don't like being included in someone's fetish involuntarily. For the same reason it's not okay to walk your "pet play" person in public on a leash, or to indulge your scat fetish by having an "accident" in a restaurant chair, it's not okay to join a group of women under the pretense of wanting advice, then use the advice for self-gratification purposes.

Oh get over yourself. It's none of your business if someone else is having a wank over something on a website. For all you know, someone could just see you wandering round the supermarket in your food-stained tracksuit, rush home and wank themselves cross-eyed at the fantasy your normal human appearance sparked off in their minds. What's it to you?
If someone is addressing you directly and asking intrusive questions, whether that's to fuel a sexual fantasy or because that person is a nosy bastard, it's a different matter. But what goes on in other people's heads (and their tissue boxes) doesn't matter in the least.

You cannot decide what others do with the material you post on the web! It can be used by fetishists, The Daily Mail, perverts, any combination of these, or just people who get off on the misery of others. If you find any of this distasteful, best not to post anything at all/don't respond to the posts of others. It is not something you can control.

Sgb it isn't just them wanking over whatever, it's a participation thing. Not quite asking intrusive questions, but it isn't passive.

It freaks me out as I don't particularly want to be part of anyone's random sexual fetish in a public place.

Yanbu.
I don't want to be forced to participate in anyone's sexual fantasy.

If you find any of this distasteful, best not to post anything at all/don't respond to the posts of others.

Yep that's why I stopped.

Person posts picture of themselves "in drag"
Nice, friendly, innocent people post positive comments
Person wanks over people buying into and participating in their illusion

Womb: It's not the same as someone displaying a sexual preference in a public place. OP is scaring herself by making assumptions with no evidence (that a makeup group is full of creepy wankers).

And also, some people are outraged and offended and horrified at same-sex couples, or couples who are not of the same ethnic origin, and will complain and whine if they see such people holding hands because eww, yuk, that's 'flaunting' themselves and demanding the same rights as heterosexual or same-ethnic-group couples. Sometimes, being offended is something you just have to get over.

Ewww I had no idea. The wanking over the comments bit, not the obviously butch 'women' with loads of tattoos and wigs.

Once you know what it is, it is relatively easy to avoid - I am on Mrs goss and simply ignore these posts. But nice, innocent people on there dont know about agp, and continue to unwittingly take part in someone's masturbatory material.

"Because agp's post pictures of themselves on mrs goss and get off on the positive "wish I had your legs" etc comments?
Does it not bother you a little to have someone wank over something you write?"

Really? you're policing what other people put online, with no proof and no basis

so what if they like to post their pics (totally non offensive) and be told they are beautiful what harm is it doing you or anyone. for all you know they are just posting for a confidence boost

"These men are only playing nicey-nice on forums with their "oh please love me" stuff until they are rejected or turned away. Then the abuse and vitriol starts, or the guilt-inducing "why would you turn away a poor lowly transwoman?""

and again oh really? you are basing this on these individuals who dont already havea hard enough time, because they are posting in a safe enviroment, any shit on any of those threads are removed very quickly - I dont give a shiny shit if a man/woman/wombat wants to wear makeup - makes fuck all difference to me - so what if they want their photo up so the supportive people on Mrs Gloss can be supportive to them

Oi - I have loads of tattoos and wigs!!

People post nice innocent comments on all kinds of threads on mumsnet that could be a turn on for someone who thinks in a kinky way- I'm amazed at how people disclose things like how much nudity is in their household, for example, or poo issues. You have to be a bit cynical about who the poster might be- or you just accept everyone at face value and don't worry too much over their sexual habits which aren't anything you will ever know about anyway.

I'm on that group too, and this has never entered my head but now that you mention it
I feel a bit ewww!
Did you have a particular person in mind Op?

What i don't understand is that men can look terrible - really fucking terrible - as a woman but they will still get people telling them how amazing they look.

"Person posts picture of themselves "in drag"
Nice, friendly, innocent people post positive comments
Person wanks over people buying into and participating in their illusion"

Person posts picture of themselves "in drag"
Nice, friendly, innocent people post positive comments
Person does not wank over people buying into and participating in their illusion, and just enjoys sharing stuff about make up...

which is more likely? every single drag artiste wants to wank over someone writing "oh you look lovely" or someone actually just wants to share their images??

One of them posted a lovely shot of up his mini skirt.
No woman would have put a photo up like he did on a make up page.

This isn't just a general thread (though I agree about poo and nudity sometimes being a bit dodgy here!) - trust me once you know what it is it is relatively easy to spot and avoid.

Any women who are in Mrs goss here who want to look back and see if they can pick any obvious ones out, in hindsight? See if I'm right?