AIBU to be grossed out ?Autogynaphila and Mrs Goss

[Pollypickypocket]

Not quite sure if my reaction is justified to be honest. Have just been in a conversation with a psychologist friend about feminism, trans issues and various theories of the advantages of gender rolls in evolutionary theory etc - wide ranging and pretty interesting as we are both gender critical but have differing views on biological aspects. He however raised the issue of late transitioning autogynaphils and how part of the fetish is being acknowledged as female/feminine/sexually attractive. I was sort of aware of autogynaphila but didnt honestly click what it ment or that it was a sexual fetish rather than an identity issue.
On Facebook I am member of Mrs Gloss a make up group and it's just occurred to me that its actually being used on occasion by autogynaphils to fuel their sexual fetishes if what he says is correct and it's really freaked me out to be honest.

Again, if the teenage daughter doesn't know, how is she being harmed? It's not like grooming where a predator is asking young, impressionable people to post nude photos of themselves or meet up in some dark and lonely car park. If all the 'dubious' poster wants is someone to say 'Ooh, you look pretty' then it really, really isn't a danger or anything to worry about in the slightest. Some people seem to be getting quite a bit of a thrill out of scaring themselves with the thought of Evil Perverts Everywhere, on rather slender evidence.

I agree with SGB.

I think 13 is the minimum age. No, it's not the same as grooming bit have you never looked back with experience on things that happened when you were younger, even things you maybe read and thought "I totally didn't understand that, how creepy" or similar.
I'm not comfortable with people with a particular fetish getting off on the unwitting reactions of women and teens trying to be nice.

I think I would agree if they were genuine comments sgb. It's the fact that they are participating in a lie that makes a difference, and the person is getting off on that, not the comments themselves, exactly. Do you see what I mean?

Of course all of the positive comments could be genuine, but I doubt it

But no one knows what some random on the internet might or might not be having a wank over. So how can it possibly do any harm to anyone? If the driver of the bus you catch every morning gets a huge thrill at the way you tap your Oyster card on the reader, as long as this driver doesn't stare at you, drooling, or ask for your phone number, what difference can it possibly make to your life? Many, many people get turned on by some aspect of a non-sexual, passing interaction and never say or do anything to let the object of their interest know what they are thinking. There's nothing wrong with it - unless you think that other people's thoughts should be policed and controlled because you find some fetishes disgusting.

So voyeurism is harmless because you don't know about it? It's ok for a guy to hang around outside a school taking sneaky pics, or sit under a staircase looking and filming up women's skirts because they don't know so it doesn't matter?

I'm a member and I know exactly what you're referring to OP. It's very tricky though for admin to pick out without inadvertently causing offence iyswim.

SolidGoldBrass, would you describe yourself as a liberal feminist, by any chance?

pickle it's not the same. The situations you've described are an invasion of privacy. It is not the same as being aroused by comments on a forum.

Comments which posters have made of their own volition.

Comments that have been invited under false pretences?

As I said I haven't been on the site, but if posters are gushing over a 16 stone hod carrier in a bodycon dress and fuschia lipstick then more fool them.

If posters are offering genuine compliments to someone they think looks good, be it woman, man or Spongebob Squarepants, then it is what it is.

If the recipient then chooses to wank over my hypothetical comment I wouldn't know and I wouldn't care.

fuchsia

Margot think more Caitlyn Jenner wannabes without the expensive plastic surgery; generally older guys wearing clothes and looks which are like a parody of how a straight horny man thinks a woman should dress.

You know when papers and magazines occasionally do a stupid "let your man style you" thing, and there's always a guy who shoves their partner in to short tight clingy dresses with high heels they're tottering on where they just look silly and uncomfortable. That, but on a 6ft tall 45 year old dude.

I see Statistically .

Pickle; the sort of voyeurism you describe is kind of borderline (someone sneaking into a place where they have no business being is an intrusion) but, if no one knows and the voyeur doesn't get caught then I can't see any actual harm being done.
But, again, what you appear to be getting your undies in such a self-righteous bundle about - people fishing for compliments in a discussion group - is not in any way intrusive. Other posters in the group can just scroll past and ignore. Your whole complaint seems to be based on a rather spiteful contempt for the harmless sexual preferences of complete strangers who are making no attempt to harass you.

I'm so glad it isn't just me. I really don't give a shit whether people want to dress as men, women or unicorns if that's what they're into but a few posters on there have made me really uncomfortable in a way I've never really known how to explain.

I still don't agree solid. Your post calls the people on here who are uncomfortable with it- including the owner of the site- self righteous and spiteful which is a pretty unpleasant way to talk to people who disagree with you.

Most of us know better than to innocently send randoms on the internet a photo of our shoes, feet, underwear drawer. We know how they will be used and choose not to pander to it as it makes us feel grubby. This is no different, just a less well known fetish.

I'll not be back to argue with you again, because for your own reasons you would rather get nasty than consider another, perfectly valid, point of view.

It's not that your point of view (hatred, contempt and fear of a sexual preference you don't share) isn't valid. People are entitled to their opinions, however stupid. It's the fact that you are trying to get others to share your contempt and join in the attacks on a small number of individuals who are not actually doing anyone any harm. You're also trying to get everyone to be afraid of this small, harmless group of people, therefore spoiling their enjoyment of their online activity (talking about make up or whatever) and damaging the reputation of the FB group by implying that it is fully of terrible dangerous perverts and poor fragile women can't possibly make up their own minds about who they do or don't want to engage with.

That isn't what we are talking about. Bye bye.

I agree with you , OP.
SGB I agree it probably doesn't do any harm, but the OP is still entitled to feel uncomfortable at being involved in someone else's fetish. To use an analogy, it's summer and I'm wearing my sandals. aware that the odd foot fetishist may be getting a thrill at the sight if my naked toes. That's fine , it doesn't hurt me and I'm not going to stop wearing them. At the same time I would feel uncomfortable if a man started a conversation with me about feet or sandals. Just keep your fetishes to yourself, or like minded people, that way everyone's happy.

Are you really so delicate in your sensibilities that you can't see the difference between someone approaching you and starting a conversation about your clothing/accessories/height or whatever (which could be intrusive) and people posting as part of an online discussion when they are not addressing you and you can ignore them just as easily as you can ignore any other discussion within that group which is not to your taste? OP is not just pooing with rage that someone has dared to address a remark to her, she's determined that no one else should participate in these discussions because other women are too stupid/indocrinated/'liberal' to APPRECIATE THE EVIL THAT LURKS ON THE INTERWEB.

SGB Well, it would probably make me want to leave that forum. There's a difference between a make up forum and a fetish forum. I don't see why they have to overlap. If you or other people don't mind then thats fine but it wouldn't be my cup of tea.

Autogynephilia freaks the fuck out of me tbh. Not the fetish in itself but how widely it is accepted and even encouraged. I do not want some guy sat in the cubicle next to me waking as he can hear me piss. I find the idea that they think women get turned on by themselves disgusting. I find the tendency to steak womens underwear and such as wank fodder fucking gross. The whole thing is vile tbh. Fair enough fetishes are 'normal' but should be practiced in private, not in public. And getting others to indulge in it is just not on. but there seems to be an endless amount of people who DO indulge it and will fight for these people to have access to females, which in turn gets them off and places females in danger at the same time. Its just..awful.

SGB you are completely read.

WankingMonkey who cares if you find what people are turned on by disgusting Who is practising these fetishes in public? There will be pervs and weirdos on every kind of forum with pictures of people.

I am just worried that people's ignorance is causing this "movement" against trans people as "autogynephiliacs" as a blanket term is outright dangerous for an already persecuted group of people.
And it just shows the ignorance on this thread. Autogynephilia is explicity the idea of being turned on by yourself being a woman, not anyone else.

So know need to be "freaked the fuck out" unless it's ou doing it, is there..