about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

[Catsize]

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

Disgusting, children under 3 have c diff as their natural gut bacteria, great way to spread it! Did they subsequently wash their hands before eating or drinking, one wonders!

Lazy. Plus, what difference should it make if you are a mum or not (these comments are usually made to try and defend the indefensible I find).

Gross! Totally out of order!!!

I wouldn't have had an issue with what Mrs K did, she was clearly in a very difficult position, with her babysitter having let her down and had no other obvious option available.
But the other mum's actions, described by op, were completely gross, and YWDNBU!

Good on you, glad you told her, it's disgusting😨

To whoever asked where you would change your baby if you didn't have a pram with you and the toilet in the function room was too small - I would change him or her on the floor (everyone takes a portable mat or muslin with them surely?) on my lap, or possibly on a bench seat. Not on a dining table.

Now I've heard re MrsKoala (her height etc makes it ok.

But I hope that for others etc it's not the green light to give them carte Blanche to do this.

I myself will complain vociferously if I see this in a cafe etc.

YANBU

For this reason, never sit at the back of a restaurant/cafe in France or Italy! (Or any other countries without baby change facilities)

Whenever I've asked about baby changing facilities in Italy I've always been directed by the staff to a quiet table at the back of the cafe.

Wow, SuperFlyHigh, wind your neck in, it's not like you have the moral authority on nappy changing and are in the position to give the 'green light' lol.
Not that I don't agree about nappy changing on a cafe table though.

Dizzy it's rank and disgusting. I suppose you do this?! Ewww

I'd also point out hygiene reasons.

Oh and the more it's said its "ok" to do the more people will do it.

I walk if I can't find or use a toilet. A mother with a buggy would have to walk maybe 5-10 minutes to find another toilet, how is that unreasonable??

You seem to think everyone does it but you, superfluhigh, even when they say they they don't!

bibbity to quote you : "Not on a dining table."

MrsK did NOT change her baby's nappy on a dining table in front of all of us. She changed her baby on a spare and unused table in the corner of the room - the only available space she had, under the circumstances. As I said previously, she did it discreetly, quickly and cleaned up hygienically.

I am not a mother. And I know that there were, at least, two other women there who aren't mothers either. I don't recall any of us finding MrsK's actions unacceptable.

As for the remainder of the group, I was not aware that anyone was annoyed - because she had already asked whether they would be OK if she used a 'quiet space' in the corner away from the group table - behind everyone.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. I find public nappy changing utterly grim. What MrsK did that day was discreet.

hazey I don't think everyone else does it at all but a lot don't mind and condone it (I researched NM and on google on other sites (Australian one and others). Many seem to think absolutely fine.

On this thread you said that dizzy probably did it, and implied dontbesilly does it - when both of them said they didn't!

SuperFlyHigh, no I do not do it, as I said! I always hated an audience when changing my daughters' nappies (they're school age now so that time is passed thankfully).
It was your superior attitude that I was objecting to.

I saw someone do similar in our local shopping centre, it's a shopping centre that's half outdoors and it has big square concrete blocks that people can sit on and a woman changed her baby on it, tho he wasn't a tiny baby he was about 18 months. I can't actually explain how close she was to the toilet. Someone said to her there's a toilet just there and she said 'I know but he's really wet' I remember thinking it was selfish as people could sit there unknowingly afterwards. Pure laziness

SIL's SIL (sorry, confusing) once changed her baby's nappy on the over-bed table in SIL's hospital room just after SIL had had a major abdominal operation. I was to the point that I didn't say anything because I couldn't get the words out. SIL was in a single room, so there was a loo right beside where the baby's mum was sitting. Baby's mum is not the sharpest pencil in the box, but the other people there said nothing either and only one of them was as horrified as I was.

There is no excuse for changing your baby on a table in a public place. None whatsoever!

Absolutely horrendous! Who does that. I would never dream of changing my child in the middle of a cafe, neither on a table, chair or even the floor. What if the child had weed when their nappy was off! I am a mum so yes my judgy pants are well and truly hoiked up!

I saw parents changing a baby's shitty nappy on a dining table in a furniture showroom. The staff were

CTK, you forgot to mention that not only am i 10ft tall and very wide, but i am also very old and doubt i'd actually get up off the floor ever again if i got down there . I have had 6 knee surgeries and ongoing physio for my back, and while i'm sure bending down wouldn't actually kill me i doubt it would do the Neitzschean thing and make me any stronger!

I think the pp suggestion that now I've done it twice i will changing nappies all over the shop is a bit of a leap. The first nct example was 5 years ago and the second MN one was 1 month ago and in that time i've had 3 dc. So as i haven't done it between that time and, as you can imagine there have been plenty of opportunities, i think it's safe to say i wont be repeating it if not deemed necessary.

Unless of course you count the other day when i took fil (who sadly has dementia) and the 3dc out to some gardens. DS2 needed a nappy change and fil walks very slowly and cannot be left alone. I felt it was reasonable to take ds2 to a corner behind a tree and quickly swap nappies over (he was stood up the whole time). And even in that short time i had my back turned ds1 had legged it and fil was picking the sodding hyacinths. I was thinking 'ah bollox, there'll be a thread about this later, 'woman changes nappy in public and man she is with picked the public flowers'.

Which leads me to my point really. That sometimes you have reasons, they aren't always clear to others. They certainly aren't ideal but they seem to be the best in the circumstances. It's a judgement call which others may not agree with and i totally get that. Or of course it could just be because i'm rough as arseholes.