about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

[Catsize]

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

I've seen people change nappies on chairs/backrests/laps which as long as it's only wee just doesn't bother me (never seen anyone change a pooey nappy in public) but I've never seen it done on the actual table, do you all mean actually on the table, or at the table, so on a seat?

On the table, NoCapes. Right in there amongst the teacups...

Oh ... That's just odd then, ignoring the wee/poo part - I wouldn't want to flash my babies naked bits to a cafe/pub full of strangers just why?

Yep this is disgusting. I would always change my daughter's nappy in the toilet, and if there wasn't a proper changing bit for my baby, I'd always carry with me a spare changing travel mat and blanket, and change on the floor. Would never do it on a table where people eat yuck!

We would all argue that no mother should have to go to the loo to breastfeed as it is rank eating in a toilet. Why do some people think it is okay the other way around so effectively other people have to eat with bums and urine/poo around?

Yes grim and on a par with allowing a dog on the table, which I've also seen. Yuk.

I do agree that it's gross, changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table. I used to change our girls' nappies in the car frequently when there weren't any facilities available.
I never liked having an audience when changing nappies anyway lol.

Just out of interest... If you were at a cafe which didn't have any baby change facilities and there were no other cafes or restaurants or similar nearby (or on a train where there isn't a toilet or the toilets didn't have changing tables - in some countries they don't) baby was in a sling (so no pram) and your child needed their nappy changed, what would you do?? I've been in these situations and tried to be as discrete as possible but my DD has incredibly sensitive skin and prone to terrible nappy rash, and would scream until a clean nappy was in place. I've used my changing mat, not left dirty nappies out for anyone else, and blocked the view as best as I could with my body and been super fast, but (having cringed at the idea inside first) made the decision to change al fresco as I'm not going to let my DD be in pain or be in a dirty nappy for a couple of hours (or even thirty minutes!)

Having said that, if there are facilities available, of course they should be used!

I am Fru who organised the meet-up that MrsKoala referred to upthread. I have neither been PMd by her, nor any of the other MNers on this thread who were at that meet-up. I have just been reading the thread.

Just to clarify. That meet-up, along with many other London meet-ups are adult only. Whilst children are not banned, per se, there is a tacit agreement that no children are brought along. Therefore, there is no reason for any organiser to find a venue with baby changing facilities. We are not a group of MN ‘Mummies & Babies/Children’, we are just a group of adult women.

The ‘function room’ referred to is not a separate function room with its own facilities. It is an adjunct to the main pub and, therefore, simply shares the same ‘facilities’ as the entire pub. We have used this pub for meet-ups three, or four times now.

I know that many pubs do, fortunately, have baby changing facilities these days. But this one doesn’t. And there was no reason why we needed to find a pub with this facility.

The reason MrsK brought her baby with her was because she was let down at the last minute by whoever she had arranged childcare with. It was not a problem with the rest of us that she came along with her baby.

The layout of the ladies’ loo, and our limited space that day, meant that MrsK had little option but to use an unused table in the corner of the room. I’m sure, if the weather had been more clement - which it wasn’t - she would have gone out to the garden. As it was, she tucked herself in a discreet corner to do a swift and hygenic nappy change.

I am no fan of public nappy changing whatsoever. But in MrsK’s case, she was not grim at all.

I used to use the loo floor heggy79

*"God knows what bacteria is in wee (lots)"

Actually urine should have no bacteria in it unless there is a UTI present.*

That's not true. It used to be thought that urine was sterile until it came into contact with the urethra. Now research is perhaps suggesting that there is bacteria present when urine is in the bladder in most people.

I'd use the loo floor too. I've only recently stopped doing so with my 11 year old who is still in nappies.

Instasista Yes, I would, if it was clean enough... But to me using the loo floor can be just as grim. Grim for me, grim for my child. Unless it's super clean... Which I'm yet to see on public transport, for example.

I wouldn't use a table in a cafe, but on a chair, or on the floor in the corner would be preferable to me and my child than kneeling in someone else's wee.

@MrsKoala.

I was also nearly at that meetup, and wouldn't have been offended by the changing thing at all.

The swearing, gin swilling, fag smoking, ash flicking vipers wouldn't have bothered me either though. I have pretty low standards clearly!

Hi, CTK. I don't think that any of us cared - or even noticed - too much swearing, gin swilling, fag smoking, ash flicking and laughing .... lots of laughing. We missed you. Come to the Summer one, if you can!

I will definitely be at the summer one, if it's the 25th. I've already booked a babysitter AND got a back up one on standby!

Heggy79 Instasista Yes, I would, if it was clean enough... But to me using the loo floor can be just as grim. Grim for me, grim for my child. Unless it's super clean... Which I'm yet to see on public transport, for example.

Another one who has to change on the toilet floor, and has no choice wrt hygiene, as ds is nearly 7 and disabled.

But, CTK, I think it's supposed to be on the 24th - the Saturday?!

I've changed baby's nappies in many public places- parks, coach seats (no toilets, with a changing mat obvs) and even once in a shop doorway (can't remember why I did that!) but I'd never do it on a restaurant table. If there are toilets then that is the only place a nappy should be changed!

Fru oops! It's the 24th I have booked. Age is taking its toll. Fortunately I've booked babysitters on the right date. Looking forward to it already. Is there a thread yet?

Grim, a chair would have been better if no changing facilities

motherofdemons I have seen the toilet at the pub MrsK was at, and I have also seen Mrsk in person. She's about six foot tall and there is literally a cubicle and a sink. I'm not sure there would be room for her to kneel on the floor, let alone change a baby on it.

Cattheifkeith my message was to the OP, not commenting on the Mumsnet meet up. Sounds like she did what was reasonable to me, if nobody there minded.

Interesting reading for me because I once changed my 5mo on a mat on the floor of her living room (just wee)
Anyway the looks she gave me couldve killed & I never did that again!