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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

340 replies

Catsize · 18/04/2017 19:07

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/04/2017 19:20

On the table is really not on & I wouldn't do it myself, but if it's a small baby & 'just a wee' (the changing preferably being done on a changing mat) I couldn't get that vexed about it. People put bags etc on tables and they're far dirtier than a changing mat or the outside of a nappy. However, if there are good, clean, facilities available then there's just no need. As for 'seeing' a bairns 'wee' nappy being changed, what's the big deal?

Sallygoroundthemoon · 18/04/2017 19:21

Unacceptable and disgusting. As was the previous poster who changed the nappy at the picnic. Really gross when others are eating.

bunnylove99 · 18/04/2017 19:22

It's disgusting. We witnessed this in a restaurant last year and couldn't believe our eyes. Left shortly afterwards (food n service were rotten too) What's with people!?

SuperFlyHigh · 18/04/2017 19:22

Annie so the mother couldn't walk the ten paces to the toilet?

I'll pee in a corner of a cafe on some paper napkins next when I want to go will I, I'm only small and after all it is only pee!

bunnylove99 · 18/04/2017 19:23

Disgusting. I have seen people do this once myself and couldn't believe my eyes. Horrible.

SuperFlyHigh · 18/04/2017 19:23

Sally at a picnic if no toilets are near then I'd change behind a bush or out of view. Out of manners sake. Not when others are in view eating though.

SuperFlyHigh · 18/04/2017 19:25

Didn't some uncouth women in Victorian and earlier times sometimes hitch their skirts and pee like animals in the street? Much the same isn't it??!!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/04/2017 19:27

SuperFlyHigh

Do you generally have a problem with comprehension?

I said However, if there are good, clean, facilities available then there's just no need

SuperFlyHigh · 18/04/2017 19:30

Annie I do not have a problem with comprehension and I replied to your first part of your sentence which was:-

"If it's just a small baby and a wee (on a changing mat) I couldn't get worked up about that".

Well I "could" get worked up about it.

TheDowagerCuntess · 18/04/2017 19:31

It's grim.

But be aware that there's a cohort of (equally grim) people about to come on to defend it.

Get ready, they'll be here soon.

Gileswithachainsaw · 18/04/2017 19:31

That is grim wtf is wrong with people.

WateryTart · 18/04/2017 19:35

Grim, grim, grim.

Serialweightwatcher · 18/04/2017 19:37

Disgusting where people are eating ... lazy and disrespectful

ThreeLeggedHaggis · 18/04/2017 19:37

I have changed a wet nappy on my lap in a cafe once and at the last MN meet up i changed my baby's nappy on the pub table.

WTF?? You didn't see anything wrong with that? Shock

TheFairyCaravan · 18/04/2017 19:37

It's absolutely grim.

I wouldn't have been as polite as you were OP. What the fuck is wrong with people? Take the baby to the changing room ffs.

Catsize · 18/04/2017 19:40

Thank you everyone. I feel a bit better now. Although not feeling better that it. Happens so often. The Aibday lunch story!! Shock

Perhaps I should have suggested that next time they could sit in the toilets for their lunch as that's what I had just had to do. As it was, I'd felt pretty grave saying anything at all. Think I was feeling empowered after reading a bit of MN.

I was dressed in a suit and looking all businessy, so like a previous poster suggested, would have no doubt been deemed the miserable childless spinster lady who is so lacking in understanding of the pressures of modern parenting.

I mentioned it to the staff, so that they could put some proper disinfectant on the table. I'd have appreciated that, had I been the next to eat from that table.

OP posts:
Catsize · 18/04/2017 19:41

Sorry for typos.

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 18/04/2017 19:45

er no. In the cafe the baby was on my lap and i was facing a wall with no one about. Baby was about 2 weeks old and i was struggling to walk and stand so in probably less than 10 seconds i swapped nappies over.

In the pub we were in a function room and there were no facilities. There was an unused table in the corner i asked if anyone minded, they all said 'of course not, don't be daft' and laughed. i laid a mat out and again quickly swapped the wet nappy of the 5mo. Then wiped the table down. We all then joked about someone posting a thread about it. There were about 20 MNers present. They all seemed normal.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 18/04/2017 19:47

Yuk - I don't care what is in the nappy, I don't want to see such a thing whilst enjoying a drink and others are eating.

You can just imagine someone putting food down totally unaware.

You don't eat in a lavatory...

Floggingmolly · 18/04/2017 19:48

You were struggling to walk and stand; yet you were in a cafe?

MrsKoala · 18/04/2017 19:50

Yes, it was an nct meet up and i had had a 3rd degree tear. i got a taxi there and home. i hadn't been out since having the baby.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 18/04/2017 19:52

It would bother me if she did it on the table / chair / floor. Who is to say said child won't urinate or defecate whilst the nappy is off? Who is to say that the child hasn't had a bug of some sorts? A wet wipe isn't going to remove bacteria from previous bowel movements?

toffeeboffin · 18/04/2017 19:53

You have to seriously not give a shit to change a nappy in public.

YANBU.

Imamouseduh · 18/04/2017 19:54

Minging.

TessTube · 18/04/2017 19:55

GRIM.

Mrs K that scenario is a bit different though!

There is just NO NEED.