about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

[Catsize]

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

[Haliez13]

Yes, but sometimes life doesn't work out. I'm sure she was absolutely mortified at the situation too. I know someone who has those issues and I'm very certain that she suffers more than anyone around her.

[Floggingmolly]

Can't believe someone's defending a grown woman having a piss in public!! If you're medically incontinent, I'm sure there are things you can use to prevent such a scenario...

[Haliez13]

On the woman peeing in a walkway - there are some medical conditions which don't give you 2 or 5 minutes to walk somewhere.

[SuperFlyHigh]

TheCountess ok you can never tell people with mental health issues but as she was with 2 other women who looked normal and as she looked sheepish I think it was just a "heck I need to go quick, here is fine". Maybe I should've asked her of her mental health situation?! (That's a joke by the way).

I still think it's disgusting to change a baby on a bench you may not eat there but there could or would be germs. What about the next people sitting there? Would cafe owners have to wash/clean the bench afterwards etc? I'd say they would.

Anyway I'm off from this discussion, it's taught me a lot I don't think so!

[Catsize]

Gosh! Thanks for telling me wildkiwi.
We have always fancied visiting Australia and/or NZ and suspect that this is the closest I'll get.
I find it quite amusing that this has been discussed so far away, yet the lady who changed the baby 40 miles down the road probably has no idea...

[Dizzy2009]

I agree, Countess, you never can tell, and I would tend to agree that peeing in public isn't normal behaviour. I don't therefore understand SuperFlyHigh's comment that she didn't appear to have mental health problems.
At any rate, it's not our call to make.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

'she certainly didn't look or sound as if she had mental health issues'

You can always spot the people with mental health issues. They go around in their nightdresses with dishevelled hair, like Ophelia.

[ohcraptoday]

Nasty and lazy.

[WildKiwi]

Hey Catsize - you're now famous in the southern hemisphere (takes the journalists down here a couple of days to copy the Daily Fail):

www.essentialbaby.com.au/baby/life-with-a-baby/mum-shocked-by-woman-changing-babys-nappy-on-caf-table-20170424-gvr34d

www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/baby/caring-for-baby/91914400/mum-shocked-by-woman-changing-babys-nappy-on-cafe-table

[Dizzy2009]

And the bench is not the same as the table, I stand by what I said. Nobody eats food off the bench as far as I know. I wouldn't be so grossed out by it, though obviously the smell would still be an issue.
The woman in the cafe was far worse as there were perfectly good facilities.

[Dizzy2009]

SuperFlyHigh, I never said anything about a baby's poo being less smelly so don't put that one on me! I hadn't thought one way or the other about it. I do think you need to lay off though, it's not like you were personally affected by it and it sounds like she won't go to a cafe without toilets again.
And it's not like weeing in public, you're making yourself sound over the top now.

[SuperFlyHigh]

hazey honestly my mum and I saw her (she was with some friends), it wasn't in the open per se...

There's a walled area, outside and inside car parks and a narrow walkway all hidden from view, she certainly didn't look or sound as if she had mental health issues and it wasn't in the open because as I said it was shaded!

[hazeyjane]

Hmm, I don't know. I would think it very unusual for someone to just piss out in the open, without there being some other issues tbh. People with mental health issues don't look any particular way.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Dizzy bench or table both equally bad. Baby or adult poo equally bad.

Like I said a 5 or even less minute walk would turn up a pub with toilets or ask to use staff ones...

Bubbins I'm guessing either you don't think much generally or else you think it's fine to change in a cafe...

Again I'll point out, if I squatted inside a cafe and did a wee or a shit I'd be a disgusting human being!

Actually the other day in a town near where I live outside a multi storey car park with a walk through pavement area to the shopping centres a my mum and I came across a woman in open view (not even bothering to hide just in the walkway paved next to multi storey car park) and she was weeing. She was also youngish and decently dressed, no signs of mental health disorders etc (not that that should excuse her), she looked at us and said "sorry I couldn't wait".

A 2 minute walk away was a pub, about 5 minutes was M&S with toilets etc... Restaurants with toilets. All of them she could've used.

Perhaps it's a thing now - weeing or shitting where it's not appropriate.

[Floggingmolly]

I know what it smells like, MrsKoala, I've got three kids... Other people's kids shit still smells like shit to me, and not something I want unleashed when I'm eating.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Smells more yoghurty to me. Agree you can't generalise.

[MrsKoala]

Not everyone Flogging. 2yo's shit smell like adult shit definitely, but unweaned baby poo smells different. Not exactly nice, but certainly not like 'shit'. To me it smells like salad cream (which i hate) sort of sweet and sour.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Quite right MommaGee.
Sometimes as a parent you have to pick the least bad option rather than the perfect one.
But you will be judged by someone whichever you pick

[Floggingmolly]

Sorry, Bubbins, but to everyone else, it smells like... shit.

[Dizzy2009]

Bubbins didn't change the nappy on the table, SuperFlyHigh, she changed it on the bench, which isn't so bad. As it was a poo, it would have smelled, that's the issue really.
You're confusing her with that mum who the op spoke about who definitely was gross.

[MommaGee]

Some people are perfect parents who are always prepared for every eventually and calmly think through every action.

Some people are human. They agree to meet in the kind of café they used to frequent and figure baby can have a wee nappy change at x o'clock when it works well. Then they do a poo, a stinky one. The sort where as soon as you peer in to see if its a poo not a pump it tries to make an escape. Oh crap now what. No loo's here, if I pick you up your going to leak on me aren't you? Yup. Ok, you're screaming cost you hate poo and I can't really move. Ill hide you under the table and just whip it off. No one will notice and hopefully if they do they'll understand I'm new to this. Ok nappy changed, poo wrapped up, thank god for antibacterial gel! You safe to move now?? Good. Next time we're meeting at bloody Starbucks and be damned their tax issues!

It's not the same as changing a toddler on a table whilst staring at the baby cjange

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Didn't even occur to me that there would be a staff toilet.

I'll be honest - I don't actually find small baby milky poo smell offensive so that probably colours my judgement. I think it smells like fudge.

If it had been toddler poo it's a different matter

[SuperFlyHigh]

Dizzy and of course yes, Bubbins was so stressed she had mummy brain, forgot how to use her smart phone and instead opted for the easiest option of changing a nappy (wasn't it a pooey one too?!) on a cafe table. And presumed because she was in a booth it'd be ok. She also lost control of her mouth to be able to ask staff to use their toilets.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Well I'm back. Sorry I agree with my views, if you're organised enough to bring a baby out for the day/night with a change of nappies etc you can use a smartphone to look for other places to go or YES ask to use the staff toilet.

Having said that about nappies leaking I am slightly sympathetic but again if you're in London very easy to find a pub within 5 minutes walking distance (no smartphone needed!) to change a baby even when a cafe closes.

I just felt the potentially leaking (it hadn't done yet) nappy is an excuse, which it is.

I have had to use toilets in emergencies in the past and managed fine so if i can do it...

[Dizzy2009]

I suppose she might not have been thinking clearly, though, sounds like she was pretty stressed, unlike the mum the op was talking about who didn't care. Benefit of hindsight and all that.

I would have wanted to try and get rid of the poo in the toilet, though, apart from anything else. I wouldn't want it all in my nappy bag, yuck! You can usually get rid of most of it down the toilet.