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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

340 replies

Catsize · 18/04/2017 19:07

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 25/04/2017 16:36

I know what it smells like, MrsKoala, I've got three kids... Other people's kids shit still smells like shit to me, and not something I want unleashed when I'm eating.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/04/2017 19:20

Dizzy bench or table both equally bad. Baby or adult poo equally bad.

Like I said a 5 or even less minute walk would turn up a pub with toilets or ask to use staff ones...

Bubbins I'm guessing either you don't think much generally or else you think it's fine to change in a cafe...

Again I'll point out, if I squatted inside a cafe and did a wee or a shit I'd be a disgusting human being!

Actually the other day in a town near where I live outside a multi storey car park with a walk through pavement area to the shopping centres a my mum and I came across a woman in open view (not even bothering to hide just in the walkway paved next to multi storey car park) and she was weeing. She was also youngish and decently dressed, no signs of mental health disorders etc (not that that should excuse her), she looked at us and said "sorry I couldn't wait".

A 2 minute walk away was a pub, about 5 minutes was M&S with toilets etc... Restaurants with toilets. All of them she could've used.

Perhaps it's a thing now - weeing or shitting where it's not appropriate.

hazeyjane · 25/04/2017 19:31

Hmm, I don't know. I would think it very unusual for someone to just piss out in the open, without there being some other issues tbh. People with mental health issues don't look any particular way.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/04/2017 21:38

hazey honestly my mum and I saw her (she was with some friends), it wasn't in the open per se...

There's a walled area, outside and inside car parks and a narrow walkway all hidden from view, she certainly didn't look or sound as if she had mental health issues and it wasn't in the open because as I said it was shaded!

Dizzy2009 · 25/04/2017 21:47

SuperFlyHigh, I never said anything about a baby's poo being less smelly so don't put that one on me! I hadn't thought one way or the other about it. I do think you need to lay off though, it's not like you were personally affected by it and it sounds like she won't go to a cafe without toilets again.
And it's not like weeing in public, you're making yourself sound over the top now.

Dizzy2009 · 25/04/2017 21:53

And the bench is not the same as the table, I stand by what I said. Nobody eats food off the bench as far as I know. I wouldn't be so grossed out by it, though obviously the smell would still be an issue.
The woman in the cafe was far worse as there were perfectly good facilities.

WildKiwi · 26/04/2017 07:28

Hey Catsize - you're now famous in the southern hemisphere (takes the journalists down here a couple of days to copy the Daily Fail):

www.essentialbaby.com.au/baby/life-with-a-baby/mum-shocked-by-woman-changing-babys-nappy-on-caf-table-20170424-gvr34d

www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/baby/caring-for-baby/91914400/mum-shocked-by-woman-changing-babys-nappy-on-cafe-table

ohcraptoday · 26/04/2017 07:46

Nasty and lazy.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 26/04/2017 10:21

'she certainly didn't look or sound as if she had mental health issues'

You can always spot the people with mental health issues. They go around in their nightdresses with dishevelled hair, like Ophelia.

Dizzy2009 · 26/04/2017 10:38

I agree, Countess, you never can tell, and I would tend to agree that peeing in public isn't normal behaviour. I don't therefore understand SuperFlyHigh's comment that she didn't appear to have mental health problems.
At any rate, it's not our call to make.

Catsize · 26/04/2017 22:41

Gosh! Thanks for telling me wildkiwi.
We have always fancied visiting Australia and/or NZ and suspect that this is the closest I'll get. Sad
I find it quite amusing that this has been discussed so far away, yet the lady who changed the baby 40 miles down the road probably has no idea...

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 27/04/2017 08:18

TheCountess ok you can never tell people with mental health issues but as she was with 2 other women who looked normal and as she looked sheepish I think it was just a "heck I need to go quick, here is fine". Maybe I should've asked her of her mental health situation?! (That's a joke by the way).

I still think it's disgusting to change a baby on a bench you may not eat there but there could or would be germs. What about the next people sitting there? Would cafe owners have to wash/clean the bench afterwards etc? I'd say they would.

Anyway I'm off from this discussion, it's taught me a lot I don't think so!

Haliez13 · 27/04/2017 10:03

On the woman peeing in a walkway - there are some medical conditions which don't give you 2 or 5 minutes to walk somewhere.

Floggingmolly · 27/04/2017 10:37

Can't believe someone's defending a grown woman having a piss in public!! If you're medically incontinent, I'm sure there are things you can use to prevent such a scenario... Hmm

Haliez13 · 27/04/2017 10:46

Yes, but sometimes life doesn't work out. I'm sure she was absolutely mortified at the situation too. I know someone who has those issues and I'm very certain that she suffers more than anyone around her.

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