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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

340 replies

Catsize · 18/04/2017 19:07

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

OP posts:
Gemma1995 · 19/04/2017 01:34

That's gross. Lazy mother with an attitude. Just wrong.

MommaGee · 19/04/2017 01:59

On the café table - wrong
On a designated table in a room where no one will be eating or drinking - totally fine
In my sisters living room in front of her - she's lucky I don't get her to change it!

Someone changing their baby nearby on some place someone isn't going to eat - I really don't care. Just don't look. If it's a poo it might smell but it'll smell for less time than if they're sat in it

SpareASquare · 19/04/2017 02:14

It wasn't a problem for anyone as far as i know - i'm just checking...

You know that noone will own up to having a problem with it now, right? Whether they actually did or not.

Iris65 · 19/04/2017 02:42

Disgusting. A bit of wee or not it is unhygienic and contemptuous of others.

faithinthesound · 19/04/2017 03:28

Most civilized people don't have to check around the room to see if anyone minds, because most civilized people wouldn't dream of doing it in the first place.

Grim.

KoalaDownUnder · 19/04/2017 03:58

Everyone laid out mats/muslins so no bums actually touched the table.

Oh, right. Well that's okay then. Hmm

Why on earth wouldn't you at least clear some space on the floor? There is zero need to change a nappy on a table.

PetalMettle · 19/04/2017 04:04

There are certain things that just never occur to me - e.g. without wanting to derail, the taking a pram in a disabled loo to wee, and this is another. I was in a pub and wanted to change ds - the baby change was vile (shit on the floor) so I took him into the ladies, popped the mat on the floor and then changed him there and afterwards gave the mat a good clean with an antisceotic wipe. It just wouldn't have occurred to me to do it on a pub table Confused

parmavioletmartini · 19/04/2017 07:16

One of my Nct changed her babies poopy nappy on my kitchen table, I said there is a change station all set up upstairs and she just arid nah I'll do it here. I was so horrified I just left the room and then disinfect it to fuck once she had left. Found it amazingly disrespectful. She also lets her baby make a huge mess with food in cafes and doesn't clean up because she's a paying customer.
Hmm

Catsize · 19/04/2017 07:35

Oh dear parma. I don't get that mentality either. Sad

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 19/04/2017 08:30

bubbins when I can't find a toilet (or its busy) I walk around an area until (town, city etc) I can find one.

God knows what bacteria is in wee (lots) but I don't even want to sit on a chair someone has nonchalantly changed a nappy on and neither would most people.

Also most towns these days there will be one toilet with a baby change facility.

MrsKoala equally rank. And I suppose that'll be the phrase you trot out next time "oh cack nowhere to change baby but it was ok at MN NCT meeting so I'll do it again on this table here"... Hmm

acquiescence · 19/04/2017 08:37

If just wee and out of sight I wouldn't mind on a chair or bench, not on the table though. I was o be out for a coffee with my newborn and a friend with her 2 year old, she changed her 2 year old with poo on the chair at our table while we were drinking our coffee and eating cake. I was quite a clueless ftm and was thinking, hmm is this the norm?! It wasn't pleasant. I think she did ask me if I minded first and I said no so maybe I can't complain.

SuperFlyHigh · 19/04/2017 08:38

dontbesilly most caffe neros, Costa etc (not sure about Starbucks) I've noticed "do" have disabled access and are also kept fairly clean. They almost always have a fold out area/table/shelf for nappy changing.

My DB's FIL is a paraplegic in a wheelchair, he lives in Bath, almost every establishment there (one but it was a bar but new build) has disabled/nappy change access.

I'm in SE London/Kent (work central London) but also used to work and go out in SW London, Kingston on Thames etc - almost all toilets there had disabled/changing in the shopping centres, John Lewis, m&s etc.

The only places I can think where maybe not have disabled etc are villages but been to Westerham recently (largeish village) and they have a Costa now as well as 2 large pubs. The 2 cafes I know of there probably have normal toilets. All national trust properties (or vast majority) have disabled/baby change.

Think that blows your argument out of the water...

archersfan22 · 19/04/2017 09:07

"God knows what bacteria is in wee (lots)"

Actually urine should have no bacteria in it unless there is a UTI present.

(I'm not arguing that means a cafe table is fine for changing a nappy, I'm just pedantic and couldn't leave this unchallenged!)

LouKout · 19/04/2017 09:11

am a mum whose child was in nappies for 8 years and has been partial to smearing poo around, and I still would find that gross. YANBU

SuperFlyHigh · 19/04/2017 09:13

Thanks for clearing that up archers!

The whole wiping the bottom area etc must have bacteria there... And assuming most changers do a quick wipe over all the bottom/vagina/penis area. This makes me sound like Kim and Aggie now and I'm really not! Smile

Catsize · 19/04/2017 09:40

Indeed super, the bottom was being wiped as I looked up, my mouth full of cheese and beans.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 19/04/2017 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Phoebefromfriends · 19/04/2017 10:01

I was on a train once and this couple changed their DS's shitty nappy on the table. It stank the carriage out and they didn't immediately move the soiled nappy. I thought I was going to be sick as the smell heated up on the warm train. The loo has just through a door behind them.

NavyandWhite · 19/04/2017 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 19/04/2017 10:02

Superglyhigh - yes, there are accessible toilets available in many places. Most of them are not designed for changing older children or adults in nappies, I assumed this was the type of facility dontbesilly was talking about. If anyone is interested in the campaign for more fully accessible toilets in the UK, the details are here www.changing-places.org/

MommaGee · 19/04/2017 10:28

Why on earth wouldn't you at least clear some space on the floor? There is zero need to change a nappy on a table. unless you can't actually get down on the floor because of a bad back or a disability or everyone walking. As long ad the table is designated and properly cleaned does it actually matter?

the bottom was being wiped as I looked up, my mouth full of cheese and beans. i get it's not nice to change a bum on a food table and shouldn't be done and geez if they smell like my son its enough to make anyone retch but is the passing glimpse of a bare baby butt that horrific??

Phoebefromfriends · 19/04/2017 10:45

navyandwhite they were Chinese so there was a language barrier. Also I didn't want an argument with a couple that I might have to sit next to for a few hours. Luckily they got off but it's not something I'll forget in a hurry.

GiraffeCat · 19/04/2017 12:10

I just went on a long train journey and had to use the train changing facility, it was in the disabled toilet - on the other side of the train! It was a pain and I do admit to for one moment considering just changing him at our seat - but I didn't. The only excuse on a train would be that I'm pretty sure there was only one disabled toilet on the train I was on, if it was out of use and I had no other choice then I would have to change him at our seat. I'd try to avoid that though.

kali110 · 19/04/2017 12:20

Absolutely rank, unfortunately not uncommon. Happened at one of my old work places.
A lot of people complained. There toilets were right there Confused
Grim, just grim Envy

asdfghjjkl · 19/04/2017 12:33

disgusting and apart from that who knows who's watching there are some not so nice people about

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