To think a town can be unfriendly?

[Midnightpinot]

I'm aware this sounds ridiculous. A while ago DD 8, my DH and I moved to a new area. The old area is consistently touted as one of the worst places to live in the U.K, due to poverty etc but we were happy where we lived and my DD had plenty of friends. These school children generally were quite immature, still enjoying a lot of Disney etc and very friendly.

The new area has actually been voted one of the best places in the U.K. to live. Lots of lovely places to eat, parks and country walking etc. We moved there because of this, but also out of necessity for my DH work.

Anyway I really, genuinely feel like the adults and children here are less friendly. I noticed straight away how the kids seemed really mean, making nasty comments even about adults, rolling their eyes and making 'whatever' faces I've only ever seen on teenagers before. No smiling or laughing here (unless in a nasty way) My DD is a very positive person and said everything was fine, but has now admitted that she doesn't have any "real" friends like her old friends and she can't understand why the girls at school are so rude and bossy. She's also developing problems with food as the girls at school worry about weight and call each other fat (at 8! WTF!) It's not just that school either, I've seen it whilst generally out and about.

We've been to many children's parties now where we are blanked by other parents except to snatch the present away. I'm completely thrown by it and an feeling immense guilt over the move.

We had a party for DD recently where lots of the parents never even bothered RSVP-ing. The children/parents that did turn up wouldn't listen to the woman managing the party at all, were picking on DD old friends or generally being disruptive as their parents stood and watched.

Everyone drives their cars like maniacs or are warring over parking spaces. No one lets anyone out and god help you try and cross a road without a pedestrian crossing-no one is stopping for you unless forced. The Facebook group they have is mainly people taking pictures of bad parking, dash cam footage of bad driving or slating of local businesses.

So, AIBU to think one small town can just have a bad culture? Everyone here is very proud of their 'Lovely, friendly town' and I just don't feel it at all. So sorry for the long post!

Is it Harrogate?
That's very very cliquey and home to the most selfish drivers I've ever seen.

Theres an affluent village near me, it frequently rates as one of the best places to live in the uk. Its commutable to london but also green so house prices are ludicrous.
Every time i visit i am astounded by the rudness of the locals, the cliquiness of the mums at the school gate. If i take a new car you get let out at junctions, if i take my immaculate but old car no one lets you out. Its just a strange bubble of snobbery.
My favourite comment was in the local budgens. Man starts to load his shopping behind me. Budgens assistant says "sorry I am going on my break"
The man says "no your not" and carries on.

Someone asked where i lived once and i told them the road "which side of the street?" one side is council.

I moved from London to the SW. London was friendly and my neighbours were kind and considerate; SW not so much.

Odin and Madison it's not Cannock is it?

I always thought we were quite friendly in these parts

chasegirl not Cannock, I think madison is on about Rugeley though.

I get your name now.

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You're golden if you're a pug in Guilford.

chasegirl I used to work with a lot of Cannock girls when I was at at Stafford hospital, I found the them a great laugh, really good sense of humour. The Stoke lot though were a different kettle of fish!
Oh and I had to give birth to my first at North Staffs Hospital, the Midwives there were the rudest nastiest bunch I have ever come across!

chasegirl Odin's right with Rugeley. With that username you must be near me?

missyB1 I'm a Cannock girl . I definitely agree with you about Stoke!

I was going to say Reigate. I think any commuter town in the SE is a bit grim though.
People are only there for the "lifestyle" but aren't prepared to invest themselves in the area because their hearts and soul are in London. So lots of clogging up the pubs and roads and weekends with the expectation that the area provide their precious down time for them.
The best towns still have a mix of people that contribute to the community. Their children working in said pubs for example and parents that help out with local things and not just the stuff that benefits them ( looking at you posh mums that set up endless fairs to promote your own " talents").

Ovienna must be!! Central line 3/4 depending on how long a walk I fancy from the station and whether DS is at nursery or GP's.

Are you Hainault or Woodford branch?

Can I be honest and say that I never knew where Staffordshire was before this thread? Are Staffordshire bull terriers so named because they have a reputation for being aggressive? ( Disclaimer: I know bugger all about dogs and I know that loads of people say that Staffies make lovely pets but they definitely have a bad reputation/image problem).

Given that the most used 'greeting' in Staffordshire is a suspicious 'You're not from round 'ere are you duck?' then it's quite possible that there's a correlation

allfur Epping Branch....never far from a Waitrose or a Land Rover...but Wanstead has Ginger Pig...

I grew up in Stafford and Rugeley. I always thought they were okay but then I am a miserable get

There's now an annual Staffordshire Day. Its on 1st May this year. This is the 2nd year its been done. Its to attract tourists to the county to show them how nice it is here. They didn't really tell anyone about it last year and its been fairly low key this year too.

Lelloteddy we don't all say that, 'duck' is commonly used in North Staffs please don't think we're all like the Stoke lot In South Staffs you're more likely to hear 'alright mate?'

Do you live in the South by any chance?

I am just very slightly north of Cannock.

Lello - a common greeting in the Cannock area it 'ow am ya bab'

I'm in the North East and found it very easy to make Mam friends both times when I had my kids. I can talk to anyone though. I am actively welcoming to mothers I see on their own too as I know what it's like to be lonely.

In defence of Harrogate (I pronounce it Harragit they correct me to Harrowgate) I go there frequently and someone drove into the back of me on one family weekend away. He was extremely apologetic, sent flowers to our hotel. Gave me a business card saying he was a Wealth Manager (only in Harrogate could you have an accident with a Wealth Manager).

Whoa..... I think I'll stick to London!

We lived in what has been described as the worst areas of London, perception it's dangerous, high levels of poverty, history of violence, crowed and dilapidated housing. Despite that in my experience of 20 years living there it is safe as houses, people are kind, interesting, warm and cheerful shops and restaurants are buzzing and diverse. There is a real community feel and not once have I felt unsafe

Visiting friends in a home county town known apparently for being friendly, safe, amazing country lifestyle, great for families, slower pace of life etc within 1 day I had the following, none of which ever happened in London:

• group of teens shouting fatty at me
• asked for a particular shampoo in a hairdresser. They said no and then laughed at me as I left (no idea why my request was so funny)
• parent yelled at me for getting in the way after their child walked into a bag I was carrying despite me stopping and stepping out of his way and them charging down the narrow footpath 3 abreast.
• approached by several groups of men to be chatted up (ie harassed) when standing outside a bar for a cigarette (never happens in London) or comments made on my appearance
• passive aggressive tutting behind me when at an ATM

Also crap restaurants with expensive boring food.

Oh and also the social club next to our air BNB played loud music with shouting locals until 2am. With their doors all open. I can't remember I time I heard a peep after 11pm in our old London flat.

With regards to a Staffordshire, I personally think Cannock and Rugeley themselves aren't too bad because they're bigger towns, what I've found is the smaller villages that surround them are a bit hit and miss.

I have lived in loads of places in england and wales including stoke and i have to say stokies are on the whole a v friendly bunch and have normally gone out of their way to be helpful. One drove my bil 10 miles to my dd wedding reception after he lost his keys going entirely out of his way and not accepting a penny in petrol money despite never having set eyes on him before and stories like that are not unusual. And like liverpool if you stand still for more than 5 seconds you will find yourself engaged in a conversation !
I know others visiting the area have said the same including my brother who lives in australia and said they were the friendliest people he had encountered in britain.
However i take the point re midwives as i had all 3 of mine in stoke. They are a mixed bag. In fact i know a v lovely midwife who works in stoke and yet her poor daughter was bullied and made miserable when she did her training and left the profession all together so they seem a rum lot ! I guess wherever you live you find good and bad .
Anyway duck that is my experience !

I'm in Ginger Pig land ovienna. Guessing Buckhurst Hill for you?