To think a town can be unfriendly?

[Midnightpinot]

I'm aware this sounds ridiculous. A while ago DD 8, my DH and I moved to a new area. The old area is consistently touted as one of the worst places to live in the U.K, due to poverty etc but we were happy where we lived and my DD had plenty of friends. These school children generally were quite immature, still enjoying a lot of Disney etc and very friendly.

The new area has actually been voted one of the best places in the U.K. to live. Lots of lovely places to eat, parks and country walking etc. We moved there because of this, but also out of necessity for my DH work.

Anyway I really, genuinely feel like the adults and children here are less friendly. I noticed straight away how the kids seemed really mean, making nasty comments even about adults, rolling their eyes and making 'whatever' faces I've only ever seen on teenagers before. No smiling or laughing here (unless in a nasty way) My DD is a very positive person and said everything was fine, but has now admitted that she doesn't have any "real" friends like her old friends and she can't understand why the girls at school are so rude and bossy. She's also developing problems with food as the girls at school worry about weight and call each other fat (at 8! WTF!) It's not just that school either, I've seen it whilst generally out and about.

We've been to many children's parties now where we are blanked by other parents except to snatch the present away. I'm completely thrown by it and an feeling immense guilt over the move.

We had a party for DD recently where lots of the parents never even bothered RSVP-ing. The children/parents that did turn up wouldn't listen to the woman managing the party at all, were picking on DD old friends or generally being disruptive as their parents stood and watched.

Everyone drives their cars like maniacs or are warring over parking spaces. No one lets anyone out and god help you try and cross a road without a pedestrian crossing-no one is stopping for you unless forced. The Facebook group they have is mainly people taking pictures of bad parking, dash cam footage of bad driving or slating of local businesses.

So, AIBU to think one small town can just have a bad culture? Everyone here is very proud of their 'Lovely, friendly town' and I just don't feel it at all. So sorry for the long post!

I grew up in an unfriendly town. It was horrible.

I also live in a supposedly deprived area and my family always made digs about it but the people here (on the whole) are so friendly and will do anything to help you . My husband was a taxi driver and I have lost track of the amount of people who have told him that after moving here they would never move away again. Even my family would now be happy to live here now.

I moved to where I am in 1996. The people around here are horrible! I have since been made aware that it is a recognised thing that people around here are horrible but I did not know this when I moved here. Luckily I am in a very spread out village with one immediate neighbour (who is horrible) and I keep myself to myself 90% of the time. One day I will move back to where I am from and back to where people are 'normals'. Sometimes I go on holiday back there just to remind myself that the whole human race has not gone entirely horrible. You are not alone OP.

@PrivatePike yes i think it is. Have lived in Horsham for most of my life. It's a lovely town but i never found it friendly.

My husband and I lived in his home town for 8 years. My husband was born here but his parents weren't. I've made loads of friends in the area, but only one is actually from there; everyone else I have became friends with have been incomers (and the one woman I have became friends with lived abroad for years so is more "open"). At toddler groups I noticed that the people who have lived there all their lives all stick together, but luckily as it is near a university there have bee lots of other "outsiders" to make friends with. When I mentioned this to my mother in law, she said it was just the same when husband and his sister were kids. I don't think the people are purposely excluding others or being rude; I just think they don't feel it's worth the effort of making new friends

Rover we must come from the same place
Do they post photos of the offending poo and bad parking , complete with numberplates showing ?

I think you live where I live, OP.

Yes. I moved to the outskirts of Milton Keynes and I've never encountered a less friendly place. I've lived in places that are objectively crap but I'd never experienced an objectively unfriendly place before. It was compounded with MK also being awful I need just about every other way I can think of.

I'm Glaswegian, so chatting to strangers in the supermarket queue etc is what I grew up with. It wasn't just me either; the kids in school were seriously unfriendly to DS1 and DH couldn't make any friends either. I've never experienced anything like it.

We now live somewhere that's generally regarded as friendly. The PILs are always commenting on how lovely people are up here (down here from my perspective, but up to them).

Absolutely possible.

I haven't had this, but friends of ours moved from a city to a smaller town because it's a very sought after area and is regularly boasted about as a "close knit community."

Except it's not. People don't know or like their neighbours, their Facebook page is full of nasty, personal attacks against people, and the local schools have really bad bullying problems.

They've said often that they regret moving.

PrivatePike I have family in Horsham...even they're not friendly to me
I found it clicky. I visited a few eateries and pubs with family and was introduced to a few 'friends'. They were very clicky, were perfectly polite but I definitely got the feeling I wasn't welcome to join them for much more than just the 1 drink as I really must be very busy doing something anywhere else but there.

I thought the OP had moved from the north to the south too!

YANBU.
Beverly in East Yorkshire is like that. Worst place I have ever lived due to the people there. Thankfully I managed to move away after 18 months.

I would never move to a small town again. Ever. It can be lovely if you are accepted; if you are not it is horrible.

No, YANBU, it isn't very pretty what a town without pity can do.

OdinsLoveChild, MadisonAvenue can I just defend Staffordshire - I moved to a different area within the county and have found just the opposite - the area I live in could not have been more welcoming

YANBU. Id take inner city issues over small town suburbia any day.

Really glad I posted this now, good to know I'm not the only one!

ToastDemon I don't dare name, but it is North West if that helps? And a market town as OdinsLoveChild mentioned.

No Reow not North to South, the two places are relatively close, which is why I was surprised. I could maybe understand if it was a big move so people might be different (or we might clearly stand out as forrin)

Thanks chastened we've been to loads of local events and DD has joined Brownies with the aim of meeting different types but afraid it's been to no avail so far.

I find everyone friendly and cheerful in Horsham whenever we go there on a Saturday

East London I find unfriendly and everyone is too rushed.

The town I live in is the most unfriendly place i have ever lived in. The people like to give the image that they are friendly, warm hearted and welcoming. They may well be towards people who have lived here for generations, but for anyone else, forget it.
They are very secular and ignorant. The type of people who, when they finally pluck up enough courage to leave their home town for a week, will head to Benidorm, where they will demand John Smith's bitter, full English breakfasts and fish and chips. Demanding of course, that the Spanish speak English to them.

I used to live in Eastleigh in Hampshire and a nastier, unfriendlier place I have never been in! No idea why. Some places are just full of shitty snotty people.

Ooh OP that is fascinating as my DP has found the same about my home town. he is from another area of the country & we now live in a larger Staffs. town and people could not be more friendly!