Staying at in laws-AIBU?

[Snowflakes1122]

We are currently staying at in laws. Every morning without fail DH, FIL and the kids all get breakfast. DH and FIL get full on eggs, bacon the works etc and the kids whatever they want.
It's like I'm bloody invisible! I've been helping myself to some old cornflakes but they are all gone now. I don't even like them!

So this morning I've been sat watching everyone else eat lovely food and have coffees brought starving and 31 weeks pregnant. I wanted to cry!

I can't go into their kitchen and start making something as that offends MIL

AIBU to be pissed off, hormonal and upset? Why does she leave me out?

My DM did similar to my DH, I didn't realise she was doing it until DH bought it up with me. Now I keep a close eye and step inbwhen needed. Infact I hadn't realised how unpleasant she could be until DH mentioned certain things. I couldn't believe it at first, I started watching out and was shocked. Have you discussed this with DH?

Nabobs, why should DH get served breakfast but not OP?

We have no idea why this has come about. There is quite possibly a perfectly reasonable answer.
Plus, is MIL a servant? She doesn't have to make everyones breakfast.

Nobody puts Snowflake in the corner.

...with a few stale cornflakes...

Plus, is MIL a servant? She doesn't have to make everyones breakfast.

Where did I say that? I said I expect PIL to serve me if they're serving DH.

Glad you got your breakfast in the end OP but I completely disagree that 'you have a DH' problem, it was more of a 'open your bloody mouth and ask for/to make your breakfast' problem, what an absolutely bonkers situation to allow to happen.

People saying they can't believe this have never met my relatives. OP, you're not alone in this. I've experienced very similar with 2 different sets of family.

However, I really couldn't describe any of these hosts as 'lovely' and am now NC with all of them. The non-hosting was just the tip of the iceberg.

OP, are you sure your mil is lovely?

Of she included you in all other meals do you think maybe she thought you still had nausea and wouldn't want any? I can see how your dh didn't notice and why you kept quiet. When at in laws and vice versa it's a case of your home my home help yourself.

I don't understand why no one else noticed you were not having any breakfast. Surely someone would have said something? Certainly your H should be looking out for you, he must know you are pregnant and hormonal and that breakfast is important for you and your baby? It is all very odd!

Giraffey of course any other adult would, in normal circumstances, ask why someone wasn't eating at the same meal.

I'm sorry but honestly this pushes back the feminist cause by years. no wonder women are viewed as incapable if it is down to the man to make sure she has breakfast.

It doesn't say if this is your first child but you have years ahead of other peoples needs being a priority and you are going to have to learn to stand up for your own needs.

Certainly your H should be looking out for you, he must know you are pregnant and hormonal and that breakfast is important for you and your baby?

Do pregnant women suddenly become incapable of independent thought when they conceive? I would consider it totally infantilising to have to rely on someone else to make sure I ate breakfast.

I think OP's husband did help out. OP posted that she did not want to mention it and two minutes later her husband had cooked eggs and OP had eaten them.

You say his has happened every day - how can it not be intentional? No host could have an oversight that made food for everyone except one person. You also say your MIL would complain if you tried to make yourself something but she must know she hasn't made you food. Was she embarrassed when your DH made eggs?

You're pregnant - why aren't they looking after you and being better hosts and how come your DH didn't notice till you pointed this out?

What did your mil say when you made yourself some eggs?

I hate margarine. Dhs family put it on buns etc. So I say - wait! Leave one margarine free for me, please! And then I eat my bun without margarine. Sometimes I'm too late, so I get a knife and scrape off every scrap I can. And eat my bun with traces of margarine. I didn't realise I was supposed to slowly die of hunger instead of doing this.

I am disappointed and staggered at the number of passive martyrs on this thread and others I have read this weekend. It looks like some mumsnetters need some assertiveness training and taught the meaning of feminism.

I'm genuinely stunned that an adult is unable to ask for something to eat. If you're grown up enough to get pregnant then surely you are able to ask for a fucking bacon sandwich

I am reading some great lines on this thread.

"Certainly your H should be looking out for you, he must know you are pregnant and hormonal and that breakfast is important for you and your baby?"

That's my favourite.

My in-laws would do this. They do it with drink - every time we visit everyone gets offered a drink except me. DH said they probably think I feel at home (no way) so will help myself but it's not that. They offer everyone and anyone else. Just the one mind - the remaining alcohol gets squirrelled back in cupboard or under the chair in which FIL sits. Halfway through an evening everyone gets a second drink. Except me. I'm honestly not a dreadful drunk so it's not that. One Xmas in the early days we stayed so I could have a few drinks and I had none until DH stepped in and got me my own bottle of wine to myself. Which I drank all of such was my crossness. During the night I got up and was sick - only DH knows this though as no way was I admitting that to the old and tight ones.
I think some people are just very inconsiderate

mummy they sound very rude. Didn't you or DH ask where your drink was?

mummy ex's family were like that. One NYE we were there. His sister went to bed about ten and sent her dd and dss to bed too, after we had told dss he could stay up to midnight, dp didn't step in so we had a v upset dss the next day, and the dp bil offered him a glass of Port and not me. I was too gobsmacked to say anything. They both carried on drinking as if I wasn't there and watched darts (dp not interested in darts usually). Later when I told dp off about it he made out I'd imagined it.
As I say......he's an ex.

Chloe, yes, they're rude. But they drink like it's going out of fashion when they come to ours. Then stay till 1am even if it's a school night.
DH didn't realise about the drinks while I seethed until much later when I told him and tbf he immediately commandeered me my own bottle and ever since he's made sure I have a drink as I still get ignored.
DH now always says 'mummy - what shall my Dad get for you?' He's quite confused and I think embarrassed by it. They recently hosted a large family gathering - everyone got one drink upon arriving (other than me obvs who got mine via DH) then sat around with empty glasses for next 2 hours until SIL spotted the problem and took over. They're not hard up at all. Just ignorant. I'm not usually shy at saying my piece but so awkward to basically call someone tight esp when it's been going on so long and DH likes to avoid confrontation.
Out - not surprised he's an ex!

Just to add, PIL are both quite big drinkers and they always keep their own glasses topped up as if by magic. We always take a bottle or two with us each visit - which incidentally they don't do when they come to us.
Am quite a tit for tat person and always intend to keep them short when they come over but my hostess manners take over and I can't do it!

Sounds like you're too nice mummy. They stay until 1am on a school night you must ge tired in the mornings.

I would be getting up at 6pm and saying 'goodness it's getting late, it's bed and bath time'. And your DH should back you up.

Are people seriously like this? Why is your husband being such a bell end?
I'd wake up earlier than them and take the kids for a breakfast out!