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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Staying at in laws-AIBU?

280 replies

Snowflakes1122 · 17/04/2017 09:33

We are currently staying at in laws. Every morning without fail DH, FIL and the kids all get breakfast. DH and FIL get full on eggs, bacon the works etc and the kids whatever they want.
It's like I'm bloody invisible! I've been helping myself to some old cornflakes but they are all gone now. I don't even like them!

So this morning I've been sat watching everyone else eat lovely food and have coffees brought starving and 31 weeks pregnant. I wanted to cry!

I can't go into their kitchen and start making something as that offends MIL

AIBU to be pissed off, hormonal and upset? Why does she leave me out? Confused

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 17/04/2017 12:11

"As a result I didn't eat a thing for the whole 4 day stay. I didn't want to make a fuss when everyone was upset"

A 4 day stay when you had no hand in preparing any of the food?

Where there was no opportunity to go into the kitchen and make yourself a butter free sandwich because it would have upset people? Are the the owners of Kerrygold and therefore have to eat butter at all times?

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2017 12:14

Beanz Do you have any issues that mean you need a full time carer? Being able to feed yourself is a basic life skill? Confused
You post sounds quite disturbing, actually.

usernumbernine · 17/04/2017 12:20

You clearly have a mouth on you, so why didn't you use it to speak up and ask for some breakfast?

Or was it more appealing to play martyr for some reason?

Rachel0Greep · 17/04/2017 12:24

Are they the owners of Kerrygold and therefore have to eat butter at all times?

Grin
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/04/2017 12:25

Kerry gold is my very favourite butter, I can spread it so thick you can see my teeth imprintsSmile.

arbrighton · 17/04/2017 12:33

YOu can't complain here about being left out if you aren't willing to do something about it.

But this is more of a husband problem

dustarr73 · 17/04/2017 12:45

tillStayingClassySanDiego

Kerry gold is my very favourite butter, I can spread it so thick you can see my teeth imprints

Apt username soGrinGrin

HarrietKettleWasHere · 17/04/2017 12:46

I very much doubt not a morsel of food passed that poster's lips for four days straight. It's inconceivable. I imagine they just didn't eat what was put out and had to find dry toast for themselves or something. As if your partner wouldn't notice you passing up meals for four days solid!

HooAteMyCheese · 17/04/2017 12:47

It was all butter from side to side, and top to bottom. Even the butter was buttered don't you know!

Are they the owners of Kerrygold and therefore have to eat butter at all times?

GrinGrin There are some right corners on here.

HooAteMyCheese · 17/04/2017 12:48

'Corkers' even.

metalmum15 · 17/04/2017 13:11

What? ! Just. ..what?

I can't believe any dh just sits there stuffing his face while pregnant wife sits in the corner so her rumbling stomach doesn't put the others off their food.

I'm seeing so many of these 'wet flannel wife' posts lately. Mumsnet needs to add a 1930's Wife Topic.

NabobsFromNobHill · 17/04/2017 13:14

I can't believe any dh just sits there stuffing his face while pregnant wife sits in the corner so her rumbling stomach doesn't put the others off their food

That's probably not remotely what happened. she could have got up before him, or after him, they could be having breakfast as and when each person arises, rather than all sitting down together. Probably he just assumed she wouldn't be so wimpy as to say nothing if she wanted food and no-one had expressly offered to make her any. Or saw her eating her sad, old cereal and assumed that was what she wanted to eat, as any sane person would assume.

metalmum15 · 17/04/2017 13:20

Nabobs I'm sure she wasn't sitting in the corner, I was just being slightly sarcastic. I agree with you on the 'wimpy' attitude though.

Foxysoxy01 · 17/04/2017 13:21

So your DH sat in front of you and ate his breakfast while you were so upset and hungry you were nearly crying? Did he eat every mouthful extra slowly and moan after every bite?

Sorry but you cannot be so limp to have just sat there hungry and not even said to your DH 'I'm pregnant, hungry and need you to sort something for me to eat, or tell me where to find something to cook'

I can't believe this post, even if you were shy and didn't want to upset MIL you would surely say something to your DH and tbh you DH isn't much of a DH if he didn't think of you himself!

I am imagining him eating his cooked breakfast with sympathetic eyes and a pained apologetic expression with every mouthful.

VictoriaPollardMD · 17/04/2017 13:24

You guys.

Nobody puts Snowflake in the corner.

HCantThinkOfAUsername · 17/04/2017 13:25

I'm sensing deja vu, if it happened though I'd be appalled! Can't believe dh hasn't said anything?! I wouldn't stay there again.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 17/04/2017 13:28

I'm sensing deja vu Me too, I'm pretty sure there was a thread like this over christmas.

DistanceCall · 17/04/2017 13:53

Other people are not obligated to monitor what you eat or don't eat, OP. You're not a baby. Why on earth don't you say "hey, what about me? I'd like X"?

BitOutOfPractice · 17/04/2017 14:12

I honestly couldn't function if I didn't eat for 1 day. 4 days fasting because of an aversion to butter (on everything? ok) strikes me as almost unbelievable.

It doesn't strike me as almost unbelievable Hmm

FiveShelties · 17/04/2017 14:17

I hate butter as well, but after four days without food I would have definitely got over that. I struggle to go 4 hours without food but 4 days is amazing. Hmm

NabobsFromNobHill · 17/04/2017 14:17

This idea that women, even when pregnant, need to be catered for, supervised, coddled and provided for is rather insulting. Grown women can sort their own breakfast,.

Chloe84 · 17/04/2017 14:28

Nabobs, why should DH get served breakfast but not OP?

When ILs stay at ours, DH or I serve them all. I would expect the same at PILs. If they only served DH and expected me to cook my own because 'grown women can sort their own', I would feel that I'm not being treated like family.

More than happy for MIL to say sort your own breakfast, but it has to apply to both me and DH, not just me.

Softkitty2 · 17/04/2017 14:33

As your mil panders to your dh. Take his food and she will make some more for her darling boy.

dustarr73 · 17/04/2017 14:38

My dp and 2 of my son's don't like butter.But having a butter aversion hasn't rendered them mute.Plus op your pregnant your blood sugar must have been going crazy.You should have had a tantrum and blame your hormones.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2017 14:40

I'm not getting the everything was already buttered thing either, really. Maybe they were waiting for Beanz to get off her arse and help to actually prepare some of the meals, if she was there for four days?
And the husband, so solicitous that he actually packs her little lunch boxes full of appropriate snacks every time she leaves the house, didn't notice that she hadn't eaten for four days??

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