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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Staying at in laws-AIBU?

280 replies

Snowflakes1122 · 17/04/2017 09:33

We are currently staying at in laws. Every morning without fail DH, FIL and the kids all get breakfast. DH and FIL get full on eggs, bacon the works etc and the kids whatever they want.
It's like I'm bloody invisible! I've been helping myself to some old cornflakes but they are all gone now. I don't even like them!

So this morning I've been sat watching everyone else eat lovely food and have coffees brought starving and 31 weeks pregnant. I wanted to cry!

I can't go into their kitchen and start making something as that offends MIL

AIBU to be pissed off, hormonal and upset? Why does she leave me out? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowflakes1122 · 17/04/2017 09:59

I have quietly told DH and I could tell he felt bad.
He came with me to help find everything to make scrambled eggs. I've eaten, yay!

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 17/04/2017 09:59

Tell DH what you want for breakfast and tell him to get it for you. And when you go shake the dust of the house from your feet. Weirdos.

NavyandWhite · 17/04/2017 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 17/04/2017 10:00

Of course it's bloody intentional, don't be so wilfully blind. They (all of them, in laws and your husband) know full fucking well you're there and have nothing. Why on earth wouldn't you say anything?! Clearly they don't give a flying fuck about it being awkward. Be an adult, say something!!

PurpleDaisies · 17/04/2017 10:00

That's not an answer. Confused

Why didn't you say something to your inlaws? I don't understand what's going on here at all.

Iamastonished · 17/04/2017 10:00

FGS, just put your big girl pants on and either ask or make some yourself. This is not setting a good example to your children either.

DonaldTrumpsTrump · 17/04/2017 10:00

I can't believe your 'darling' H didn't notice in the first place Confused

Oldraver · 17/04/2017 10:00

FGS...Say something..

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 17/04/2017 10:00

So he should feel bad... why are you not more annoyed with him? He's been a right tool Hmm

Vroomster · 17/04/2017 10:01

WTF?

Vroomster · 17/04/2017 10:02

Your DH didn't notice? Really? Hmm

NavyandWhite · 17/04/2017 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andrewofgg · 17/04/2017 10:02

x-post, good, but from now on you are offered what everyone else has, and he must make it happen.

DaemonPantalaemon · 17/04/2017 10:02

I feel a bit awkward having to ask and point out in being left out. I also don't want to make a big thing of it

Much better to moan on Mumsnet than to confront a fairly straightforward "problem" in real life. That will show everyone!

Sorry to sound so impatient but this is just about the biggest non-problem I have read here.

DrowningSeas · 17/04/2017 10:02

I don't believe this can actually happen.

If this happened to me my DH would be very vocal without needing to be prompted about it.
Why would you be so submissive that you allow yourself to be treated this way?

Is this something that happens regularly?

Heirhelp · 17/04/2017 10:03

Next time get your DH to make your breakfast or take his.

I am struggling to picture the situation. Is everyone sitting round the table or is MIL doong arm chair service?

greenworm · 17/04/2017 10:03

It's totally bizarre. What do you think the reason is that they don't give you breakfast?

Your DH should have said something definitely, its his family.

Rioja123 · 17/04/2017 10:03

Honestly this is outrageous! Can't believe your husband hasn't sorted this out.

Huldra · 17/04/2017 10:03

Asking for breakfast isn't making a big thing!

If they're usually good at food I wonder if they've picked up some idea that you don't like cooked breakfast, or struggling with morning sickness. Not that it excuses them because you should still always ask a guest.

Is this the first time you've stayed overnight? If you don't say anything it will happen everytime from now on because they think you don't eat breakfast, for whatever wierd reason.

Bananamanfan · 17/04/2017 10:03

That is weird, op. What did your dh say?

NavyandWhite · 17/04/2017 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paddingtonbear1 · 17/04/2017 10:04

Something very similar happened to a friend of mine. When they visited her in-laws, who are not local, her dh and his brothers were served large dinners while my friend ended up with left overs. It was very odd. Whenever they visit now, they stay in a hotel and have meals out!

CaptainBrickbeard · 17/04/2017 10:05

If they're lovely people then I'd assume it's either that MIL doesn't eat breakfast and has mistakenly assumed that's the case for all women, they have a traditional set up and expect women to sort themselves out and serve the men so wouldn't think to serve you, you have refused breakfast in the past and they are convinced you never eat it as a result, you have specific dietary requirements which they find confusing so have decided to ignore you, everyone else asked and you didn't so it was interpreted as you not wanting anything...I don't know, loads of possibilities BUT if they are lovely then they won't be upset by you just bloody well saying something! It doesn't have to be a big deal!

storminabuttercup · 17/04/2017 10:06

Is she eating herself? The whole thing is bizarre

paddingtonbear1 · 17/04/2017 10:07

What about other meals OP? What happens then?