to think going to a church service when atheist is not that big a deal?

[parentsvsPIL]

My atheist parents take their religion-bashing quite seriously. They make Richard Dawkins look nuanced.

DH and I sing in the local church choir, since it's a good choir, there aren't any other good choirs locally, and we are generally fine with the broad principles being espoused by the church, though we are not believers. It is made fairly explicit that church musicians are not required to be anything more than tolerant of religion.

My family is currently visiting. It being Easter, there's lots of nice music happening at the church, done by our choir. My family loves music and would typically go to anything on offer.

Family have refused outright to allow my niece to go to any of it as they don't want people forcing religion on her. My parents have also refused to go to any of it. My siblings have gone to one service and made lots of comments about being "forced to pray" (we're talking Anglican evensong here, not Billy Graham... they weren't forced to do anything!)

Is this really that big a deal? Well, it clearly is for them, but we just don't get what harm they think it's going to do...

GoldenWondering - that kind of thing is not remotely typical of the kind of Anglicanism that puts on lots of music over Easter, thankfully. If it were we wouldn't be there. As i said in the OP there is explicitly no requirement for us to be anything other than tolerant of it all. I'm sure some of the people there might think it would be better if the choir and organists were all definitely religious, but they might discover they had about 2 musicians left if they enforced religious adherence...

Some Atheists believe religion is wrong and has caused a lot of harm in the world. It's not just they don't believe in God but they think religion itself is a bad thing.

Of course it won't do any harm- I'm an atheist but encourage my DCs to attend church services occasionally with cubs etc as I want them to have a chance to find out what 'religion' is about and make their own choices later. I'd also encourage them to attend places of worship for other religions if the chance arises. (IMO the best way to encourage a teenage rebellious religious phase is to be avidly anti-religion, whereas by encouraging them to go they are pretty 'meh' about the whole idea)
But I'm curious as to why you're so invested in them coming to church with you? What difference does it make to you?

Presumably your niece is already going to a national curriculum school that makes kids sit through 'broadly Christian' assemblies and celebrations, and pushes Christianity as the 'default' religion in RE, so if they're dedicated atheists they are presumably already teaching her to question, use critical thinking skills, be open-minded etc.?

So I don't see what damage one extra church trip is going to do? I'm an atheist now/brought up Anglican but if I ever had the opportunity to go the service of another faith to watch a friend perform I'd certainly go as an interested bystander.

Incidentally our local MP attends religious services as part of community events such as St George's Day, Remembrance Day, etc., but is quite obvious about refusing to pray - just sits and listens. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Slightlyperturbed - it was just that between us we are singing in 8 services during the time my family are visiting. All of it is music my family love. They have not visited in 10 years, we thought they might like to see/hear a bit of what we spend something like 15 hours a week doing. We had told them repeatedly that Easter was not a good time to visit if they didn't want to be seeing us in the choir. They picked easter despite having no real restrictions on when they might otherwise come.

But if they simply prefer never to attend church and are not moaning about you being unavailable for the time you're attending, what's the problem?

They haven't visited you for ten years?!

I'm obviously in the minority here but I'd refuse to go too. I was forced to go to church throughout childhood, i now choose not to attend any church services. I am very anti-religion and would feel a complete hypocrite going to church.
I think it's completely fine for your parents to choose not to go, and fine for you to choose to go.

If they dont want to participate then you should let them be. It doesnt matter if you are singing in the Choir. They do not wish to be there.

We are Atheists, we did take the kids to a carol service one Chrsitmas a few years ago to try and ignite some Christmas Spirit into our cold heathen hearts but just found it all a bit silly - to be fair we accidentally went to one of the happy clappy churches rather than the type i remmeber as a kid.

We will of course allow our kids to choose when they are old enough for critical thinking.

Some Atheists believe religion is wrong and has caused a lot of harm in the world. It's not just they don't believe in God but they think religion itself is a bad thing.^

Which is fair enough, but a political view, not a religious one...

I think not exposing children to some part of religion really narrows their view of the world
So have you exposed your children to services in lots of different religions? I agree that children should learn about different belief systems, i.e. in RE at school, to understand what some people believe, but don't think they need to attend services/meetings.

Regarding the OP's parents, perhaps they see attending a church service as somehow condoning the religion.

Millifiori, I think you've rather just proved the athiests' point. It starts with a bit if nice music and a warm welcome and before you know it they've got you!

I'd be really hurt if I was you and your Dh Op. A first visit in 10 years, an opportunity to see you perform and they can't set their bigotry aside for an hour or so?

I bet religion isn't the only thing they have strong (unpleasant?) views on.

I am a staunch Atheist and having went to a Presbyterian school, I have attended enough church services to last a lifetime and now I try to avoid going to church at all times (other than for weddings and funerals).

However even I could manage a church service at Easter for the sake of one of my kid's who was performing.

Which is fair enough, but a political view, not a religious one...

Just as valid either way, surely?

Pizzas I don't think younger to expose children's all religions to achieve that aim. The main ones are after all all basically the same! To teach that any one (or all) religion is is wicked is the problem

I'm an atheist. I also occasionally go to services in St. Mary's Anglican cathedral in Edinburgh just for the music. The cathedral is connected to St Mary's Music school , which as part of the school remit, trains choristers for the cathedral but is not itself a religious school. The choir is one of the finest in the U.K.

They sound quite insecure in their non-belief.
I'm an athiest and I love the architecture of churches - they're beautiful buildings and they have a sense of peace and spirituality. I also love hymns! I went to a Catholic school and was in the choir so they hold a lot of memories for me. If I'm invited to something at a church (wedding, Christening etc.) I'll go and although I think the God bits are boring/mildly amusing, the fact that the people I care about want me there overrides anything else. Just because I'm in a certain pile of bricks doesn't mean my beliefs change!

My DS says he doesn't believe in a God, which is fine, he's been brought up to believe what he chooses to, but I would never stop him attending something.

I got taken to a Billy Graham thing as a child by a friend's family, and agree is totally different! Nothing word with enjoying the atmosphere of church and singing, you don't have to take it all seriously.

Come to think of it, a bit cross I was allowed to get taken to the thing I was, where you all had to group down and to a massive pray (in a huge Edinburgh football stadium I remember) and get given stuff to take away etc. I was only about ten and remember feeling quite guilty afterwards but felt I needed to join in. Hmm.

It's not bigoted to be an atheist and not want to attend church services.

We also don't know what their reasons are for not attending: OP and other posters have made assumptions, eg that they fear "brainwashing".

If they strongly disagree with religion it is not U to avoid religious workship, which is what these services are.

Idiots. The church does a lot of community work. I worked with the church for a while and they filled gaps where the government or society didn't help - supporting anyone who came through the doors and noone ever tried to convert anyone.

I wonder if these athiests have ever put as much passion into actually helping their fellow man as they do into their anti church/religion rants. Ever cooked for 60 homeless people, collected clothes for teens at the drop in centre because their parents wouldn't/couldn't clothe them, sat and talked to calm down a man off his meds who was threatening random women and then himself, raised money for a local therapy centre for the homeless, had to have double kicks on your office door as it was a magnet for anyone with a grudge against a god/society/women/who the hell knows what?

You can't catch God by walking into a church. There are worse things than being religious. What else do get their knickers in a twist about that their kids might catch? Do they shout at nuns or women in hijab in the street? Do they worry about the real things in life (kids passing exams, not taking drugs or dating dodgy people?).

I don't get people who rant against something. Put the energy to good use and get off your bum and do something positive.

I love a good debate - grown up not 'fingers in my ears I'm not listening'.

Sorry to be correct St. Mary's is Scottish Episcopalian (which if I ever do find religion would be the one for me as it seems to be able to accommodate tolerance and welcoming without all that awful happy , clappy stuff)

Some very prejudiced views of atheists who do not wish to attend church there Mavis.

Bigot - a person who is intolerant towards those holding different opinions.

I think it is dozer, when that's so inflexible that it hurts your loved ones.