To be annoyed at the childish way DH speaks about sex/sexual acts

[Pinkandwhite]

I really dislike the way my DH talks about sex. He'll say things like 'any chance of a handie/blowie?' And 'I want to give you a rodgering'. He thinks it's amusing/totally reasonable but I find it immature and a turn off. AIBU?

Ahhhh Flyinggeese noooooo! This whole thread is making me cringe

Anything other than passionate non-nonsensical noises are a turn off for me (during sober sex at least)..

We overheard an amorous, pissed up couple discussing their forthcoming bedroom acts in the pub one evening.... couldn't breathe for laughing when she said 'd'u wanna lick me lady?'

After reading this, I have decided to become a nun.

Thank god I am already married - if I wasn't I would be panicking that I would ever get anywhere.

Ideally, there would only be non verbal communication in my house, but the reality of life means there needs to be at least a hint, or else nothing happens. and we both drift off listening to radio4

The only time I've seen the word blowie was in the PopBitch newsletter about Harry Styles (one of One Direction) getting one in the carpark of the XFactor studios.

If my DH (or anyone else, including Harry Styles) asked me for a blowie I'd be out the door within 30 seconds. I hate baby sextalk, just a grin and a wink is enough in our house, when a bit of the other/rodgering/splitting the whiskers/whatever other horrendous terms I've read in this thread, is on the cards.

Taking the skin boat to tuna town...Oh dear.

About as endearing as being chatted up by a spotty fourteen year old.

My DH was into this at the start back during the Jurassic but having heard another of his mates still using the same terms years later, he confessed that he realised how repulsive and immature it sounded and has since moved onto what I imagine he thinks of as allusions. "So, if you're not busy tonight..." Still not winning any romance races but it's an improvement.

If you find it objectionable, he should adjust his language.

I'm guessing it's bad that I will literally try and phrase it as bad as possible for fun? Lol
Heyyyyyy wanna lick of the taco?
Then run away lol

You guys are giving me awesome ideas of things to say!

Splitting the Whiskers has reminded me of something my first boyfriend used to say. Every single time I came back from the loo in the pub, he'd ask "Did you wet your lettuce?"

I'd go

& he'd say, "you must've been pissing through a straw"

WTF is wrong with these twats?

Parking the pink bus

My best friend once told me that her dickhead ex once was going down on her, he was awful at it, and when she tried to give him some pointers on how to improve, he ignored her and took them as an insult on his technique. When he'd been at it for some time he got frustrated and shouted "CUM BITCH!!!" very loud and aggressively. She finished with him not long after. We giggled about this for years afterwards .

An ex referred to my breasts as threepenny bits, or jubblies. Creepy 🐉
Don't like to be caught in a carry on film but sex should be fun I think (if I ever get any 🤔)

A good sorting out

bigglass

Er, what the hell is a "cum noise" ?

A friend was once asked by some silver-tongued bastard to 'part her piss flaps'! . She declined.

I used to work with a young Australian woman who fully embraced her sexulaity. I once asked her if she'd had a good night and she replied. 'Aw yeah and got my box bashed good and proper'

I have found this thread hilarious!
And it's also made me question my maturity level as I found most of the examples funny. My DH says some childish things about sex but I find it funny and don't see it as part of the turn on process. . .
I like that we can joke and be relaxed about it?

OP my DH does this too and I find it utterly repulsive. Mainly he does it when we are in a dry spell and it makes me want to DTD even less. It's like we get into a catch 22. Where he's trying to lighten he mood and not ask seriously so he's not 'rejected'.... but thise are the times when I need him to seriously try and seduce me!!

I've tried asking him not to, and verbally keeping a count of the amount of vulgar things he says, so he realises how much he does it and how awful it sounds; but he just says 'I'm only messing around'.

I know he's only doing it as a bit of a self-protection as he doesn't want to be rejected constantly, especially if he's gone all out with trying to get in my pants! But we have to have a full blown row about it every 3 months or so when it gets soooo ridiculous and (correlated) we haven't had sex for too long.

Gahhhh wish we could sort out this issue!! I have suggested counselling as I feel we have wider communication issues which this is a symptom of, but he's having none of it.

Anyway I feel your pain OP!

Crikey, this thread has had me cringeing and laughing at the same time. I have an ex P who used to tell me he wanted to "plunge into my clunge".How's that for a turn on (not)?! Clunge? Never heard it before or since! It just makes me laugh.

CUMBITCH is in contension for my next user name. Although out and out fave is getyourratout.

I was so amused by it, in had to share with DP -and half suspect him to ask me to get my rat out some time soom--

Once went on a date with a gorgeous guy who (later in the evening) decided to signal he wanted sex by telling me 'I wanna be your lovin' man, baby...' in a pleading toddler voice.

I had left the premises within about 25 seconds flat! Urgh.

We once an episode of Futurama where they had the Planet Snoo-Snoo which was basically a planet obsessed with one thing. We called it snoo-snoo for a while after that but only for a laugh. My dh tends to sound like he's trying to be Indiana Jones combined with James Bond. I guess we got around it all by not saying or calling it anything particular or using terms we're both comfortable with. We did discuss things we could say which wouldn't make the other person cringe, or feel pressured or uncomfortable with doing something. Maybe start singing "sit on my face" next time...lol.

Is "Climb aboard, honey" OK?