To be annoyed at the childish way DH speaks about sex/sexual acts

[Pinkandwhite]

I really dislike the way my DH talks about sex. He'll say things like 'any chance of a handie/blowie?' And 'I want to give you a rodgering'. He thinks it's amusing/totally reasonable but I find it immature and a turn off. AIBU?

Bloody hell sammy, you've just put me off for life!!!!

Do people really talk about it? Don't these things just happen?

god I feel like DH and I are very backward!

"bed?", raised eyebrows, smile - conversation over.

sammy At least he knew what a clit was. I slept with a bloke who claimed that he'd never heard of it. I thought he was joking. He wasn't.

DH was telling me the other day about a fella he works with. The workmate couldn't understand why his new girlfriend wouldn't have sex with him.
He asked her if he could "split her whiskers".
😐

The anti 'make love' contingent on here make me die laughing. And every time someone complains about it I love the term all the more.

Ex used to put on a cutesy voice and say "I've got a pwobwem" when he was horny.

Not a turn on.

The 'smash my pasty' thread is in Classics. Nearly wet myself I laughed so hard.

Omg Sammy I don't know whether to laugh or cry

He asked her if he could "split her whiskers".

I once knew an Australian lady who used this phrase to mean going for a wee...

Grim.
I wish my brain would edit out ever having heard most grindingly vile euphemisms you hear.

It brings out the very Amish in me.

I knew one bloke that would talk about my 'love button' just no! Me and oh decided to make love once. It was weird, we just fuck now.
Was having a great conversation at work once. Me and oh are morning people. My colleague says 'oh no, how can you without a shower and I couldn't kiss anyone without brushing my teeth first'
I then go kissing?? We don't kiss!
And my boss goes 'everyone knows mouths are for dicks!!'
Probably not our best moment but we were dying laughing.

I had an ex who used to say 'I want to get nakey' whenever he wanted sex, in this weird childlike voice - it made my stomach turn.

Luckily DH doesn't do this. Although I did have to have stern words about his habit of saying 'Oooh, windypops' whenever he farts.

Who the hell asks for it with words anyway? That's alien to me. Saying "Do you want...?" anything, whether as lame as "... to make live" or as babyish "to put our tinky winkies in the popo." Y'all ASK? Don't you just... kiss and shit happens?

Frankly being asked outright would turn me off. Read the signs, you don't need a signed invitation.

Surely these people have never actually had sex/'got nakey'/'split someone's whiskers'/'smashed their pasty' because the second these words were uttered, the other party screamed and immediately put on a permanent chastity belt?

TANFASTIC, for some reason, that really made me laugh 😂

I think your dh's terminology is fine. It's is so much better than "make love" (puke) which would be an automatic no from me!

Had to stop reading after the 2nd page, was about to be put off for life. This is where non-verbal communication comes into its own!

Non verbal communication like where you make a circle with your finger and thumb and push your finger on other hand in and out while waggling your Eyebrows?

As others have said, if the phrases he is using turn you cold, tell him.

I usually get 'how tired are you?' 'I think I might like some later ' or just' hello'

Dahhling....fancy some sexual intercourse tonight or would you prefer I deliver some cunninglus

Oh god Peanutbutter, stop or I'm joining a nunnery

DH once had a girlfriend who referred to her love button as her 'little boatman.' It put him off so much, he broke up with her.

Saying making love makes me want to vom too.

Hate 'titties' or 'boobies'. Just bleurgh.

Got a bloke I had fancied for ages into bed once. He put a baby voice on and asked if 'Davey Wavey could have an ickle blow job'.

No. No, he could not. Like, ever.

My dh just likes to scuttle the hole off me....