To think my friend is a tight arse???

[FataliePorkman]

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

Ilovesooty that's awful.

How dare OP not come back and update us

Fascicle - how is paying for what you consumed being a tight arse?

I don't want to labour the point but isn't it much tighter to expect someone else to pay for you?

I've gone through all that and OP hasn't come back

Team Joan!

Op has fallen off the face of the earth.

OP has indeed fallen off face of the earth. I still want it marked up for the record that I am team Joan too. I hate people freeloading off their non-drinking friends. If people wish to pay for only what they have consumed that should be respected. I have felt this since attending my neighbour's hen party 10 years ago. My share of the bill (split between several cocktail guzzling hens and a non -drinking me) was the equivalent of about £5 per meatball I consumed.

If she's a single mum she will possibly be on a right budget.

#TJ

Guessing op wasn't Joan since they haven't come back!!!

#teamjoan

YABU she is perfectly entitled to only pay for what her and her DCs are and drank

ate*

I'm a waitress and when I see different couples ordering varying amounts, I always ask if they want me to split their bill for them. I keep my dockets with each persons order just in case they do.

People appreciate it. The big spenders often order MORE as no guilt about ordering the steak and lots of cocktails, and those not ordering much can relax and enjoy their evening. Win win! And normally better tips for me as a consequence.

Bitchycocktailwaitress. I think you need a new nickname, maybe 'ConsiderateCocktailWaitress*. I bet customers really appreciate it if you offer to split the bill, I'm not sure why more restaurants don't do it.

In my closest group of friends, we always split the bill equally in restaurants, unless that looks monstrously unfair (the starter and glass of tap vs 3 courses with wine scenario). But we're a group of fairly well paid professionals.

And actually, thinking about it, the time when we do pay for what we had is when, once or twice a year, we go for a massive cocktail session somewhere swanky. I always get to do the spreadsheet, one of us puts it on their card, and everyone else transfers the money to them. Four cocktails versus a couple of mocktails just feels like too big a discrepancy.

Thank you how smug I do it because it's just good customer service. With modern tills it takes seconds as long as you keep a note of what people have ordered. Many restaurants can't be arsed though.

Op still not back then?

#teamjoan

I've been Joan on a hen do. We ate late, friend and I grabbed McD's on the way to the hotel so we weren't all that hungry. We also had some pre drinks in our room and it became apparent that the others didn't and mainly, we were on a budget. We had a modest meal and one drink each.

They ate 3 courses, were sipping prosecco and ordering cocktails like it was going out fashion and then suggested we split the bill. Splitting the bill would have more than doubled our cost so we refused. It was awkward but we insisted that we wouldn't fund their evening. We paid for what we had but it did cause so many problems and we were the outcasts for the rest of the weekend

We paid for what we had but it did cause so many problems and we were the outcasts for the rest of the weekend

I can't believe these kinds of people. How on earth can they justify being pissed off because you wouldn't pay for them?!

I do often think what would happen, if the the people expecting the bill to be split,didn't have enough money.After eating and drinking over what money they have.

OP has not come back because we are all 'team Joan'!

Interesting how many of the splitters use the same accusation that the non-splitters are 'greedy' 'tight' etc. As if freeloading and expecting others to subsidise you isn't. Massively projecting! It also shows how effective it is to accuse anyone of being tight, even if the opposite is true.

#jesuisJoan

UI totally agree with you Koala

How on earth can they justify being pissed off because you wouldn't pay for them?!

but I have seen it happen with otherwise really nice and reasonable people...something along the lines of 'spoiling the atmosphere' or somesuch, like 'making it all about money'. Yeah, easy for people to whom money is not such a hot issue to say that!

Once on a team night out from work, the lowest paid of us was also a veggie and had tap water and a side salad and dropped out of the bill splitting (good for her). Manager actually took me aside and said 'can you believe X was such a buzzkill?' No sweetie, there's only one buzzkill here and I'm looking at him right now. Oh manager also said that if people weren't prepared to split perhaps they shouldn't come. Nice team building!

I didn't subsidise my pals drinking. I'm such a tight arse!

"something along the lines of 'spoiling the atmosphere' or somesuch, like 'making it all about money'. Yeah, easy for people to whom money is not such a hot issue to say that!"

Yes, or "it's boring to get the calculators out", yes it's boring, but 10 minutes of counting for everyone to be happy, just go with it.