- men coming on MN?

[iwantedaSindywardrobe]

Now I have no problem with men coming on here and declaring that they are men but seeking a female perspective on something. But there seem to be men who lurk and men who post pretending to be women on here.

I've read a few posts recently where there have been quite a lot of misogynistic comments (not saying women can't be like that) and some of those posters are clearly men. Mostly posts about how how women and girls are subject to sexually inappropriate or manipulative behaviour by males.

Why are men coming on here and doing this? It's a public forum, I get that, but it would never cross my mind to go on a DadsNet or equivalent forum pretending to be a man just to slate men and their particular experiences.

Is it just me who finds this odd and creepy?

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Their not there

[BoneyBackJefferson]

I came on here because I am a teacher and TES (when it was worthwhile) was invaded by MN.

Why would I want to come on to a parenting site?
Because I want to know what parents are thinking, having problems with and occasionally I can help.

And its an absolute goldmine of information about various SEND.

Its also a bloody good forum.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

As previous posters have said, men need to disclose they're male when posting, so that women can see where they might be coming from.

No they don't. They really don't.

There's no reason why men shouldn't join mumsnet and join in with discussion. And there's even less reason why they should have to state that they are men to do it.

Follow the talk guidelines and don't post like a twat. Other than that nothing else matters.

[ExplodedCloud]

F1ip nobody said they did.

[Batgirlspants]

Why should they declare they are men! I don't declare I am a woman.

[Batgirlspants]

Why should they declare they are men! I don't declare I am a woman.

[Walkingtowork]

I wouldn't want any individual men to feel unwelcome, however I think it's a very rare and precious thing to have such a large site that's predominantly female. Because of the power imbalance between the sexes.

[ZackyVengeance]

i always hate these threads.
seeing as we all hide behind made up names, who cares if we are male /females
my name is a mans name.....am I a man? who knows ?
(well I do )

[HRHTiggyD]

I'm a squirrel.

[floraeasy]

LateDad - I'm a man - I think my UN gives that away

With a name like that, you could be a ghost contacting us from another dimension - but that's okay too

[Nutterfly]

It's great to see men speaking out on some threads, especially the misogynist ones.

I'm thinking particularly of the Peter thread where he claimed that 95% of men thought as he did, and amongst all the laughter, there were a number of male posters who pretty much came on to say 'No we don't. You're deluded'.
That said, there does seem to be an increase in male trolls recently with a suspicious rise in 'female mners' backing up some very sexist and goady comments.

[LuxCoDespondent]

The header on Mumsnet says "for parents by parents". Not "for women by women".

You could argue that a childless person - including a pregnant woman - is "not allowed" to be using the website, but I don't think many people would agree with that.

[SoupDragon]

tizzydongue Try reading my next sentence?

Try answering my question. From your "next sentence" you seem to think a woman would be simply "patronising and superior" but when someone with a penis does it, it has some ridiculous, and frankly sexist, term.

And yes, I know women suffer far more sexism than men. Of course they do. That doesn't make it right that women can be sexist towards men.

[LuxCoDespondent]

Alright, I'm wrong, it's "by parents for parents" - that's what I get for not paying attention properly!

[SoupDragon]

As previous posters have said, men need to disclose they're male when posting, so that women can see where they might be coming from.

I have seen men ripped to shreds for starting a post by explaining that they are a man.

[Whileweareonthesubject]

I am really not bothered whether a poster is male or female. I am interested in reading different points of view regardless of whether they are written by a woman or a man. IME, both can show enormous compassion and they can also be bullies. I've worked for and with them all.
I find it very sad that the same issue will elicit different responses depending on whether the OP is male or female. I do d it very odd that on a site where so many posters are female, saddened by a lack of understanding from the men in their lives, there are some who would prefer that men are 'not allowed ' here, thereby preventing them from hearing and maybe even understanding a woman's point of view.

[VintagePerfumista]

"men need to disclose they are men" WTF?

Maybe some MNers need to get a hold of the idea that MN isn;t their personal fiefdom to boss people with penises about on.

And if women absolutely need to speak to women about stuff (and I do appreciate that) and they need to be absolutely sure it's a women they are talking to, perhaps an anonymous chat forum is less useful than that real life thing.

Again, re trolls, of course there are some dicks with dicks who come on all "well hellair, let's talk about sex shall we?" late at night. I'd still argue till the end of days that they do less damage than the dicks with cunts who bleed the site dry with their emotional vampire/begging for money/inventing dead babies shit.

[surferjet]

Not bothered at all - in fact, most of the men I speak to on here are lovely & give the site a bit of balance.
What annoys me is when female posters use the line; 'are you a man' as an insult. Usually because a poster has fairly strong opinions, like that's not allowed if you're a woman

[Whileweareonthesubject]

👍 Best I can do in the absence of a 'like' button Vintage.

[WorraLiberty]

Since the vast majority of posters on here are adult females

It always makes me laugh how many people assume trolls are nearly always men, or teenagers trolling throughout their school holidays.

It's pretty clear a lot of the time that they're women and experienced MNetters, who know what buttons to press/subjects to start bun fights.

[Lockheart]

As long as they're sensible and polite, I don't care what any poster has between their legs. I'm not interacting with any posters genitals, I'm interacting with a single tiny snapshot of themselves and their thoughts that they choose to post publicly. On here you could pretend to be anyone. Rich or poor, male or female, black or white, British or foreign, old or young, parent or not. Could anyone tell me which of those I am? Maybe a few. I think I've posted before about not having children, and I'm sure some of my old posts would give away my rough age and salary.

If you wanted to you could outright lie about your life for years, and assuming you don't slip up, start annoying other users and piss off MNHQ, it's unlikely you'd be found out.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest who or what anyone is on here. Just enjoy the conversation.

[WankingMonkey]

I think its great men come on here.

Its creepy if they pretend to be women but I kind of get it sometimes as men tend to get a right roasting and different advice given depending if they announce their bepenised state.

I HATE the 'as a man' comments though, as if the fact that they are male makes their opinion more important.

[Mummylin]

I like having men on here. I don't like trolls male or female.

[BIWI]

Perhaps we should all preface our posts in some way?

Maybe tell people if you're gay, or if you're childless, or if you're over 50?

This is a big site, with lots of different topics, and with a generally good standard of debate, discussion and (usually) a lot of support. It's also funny and entertaining, from time to time.

Why on earth shouldn't a man (or someone gay, or who doesn't have children or who is over 50) join here? And what on earth difference does their sex have to do with it?

I sometimes think that there's a core of pearl-clutching, hysterical women who just don't see that they are equal to men, or who feel that somehow they deserve special protection in some way.

We're all just people who post here. Generally we all want the same things, don't we? To chat, ask for advice/help, to entertain and be entertained.

[noeffingidea]

I like the fact that some men post here. I also like the fact that no one has to disclose their sex.
At the same time I do like the fact that it is a female dominated forum. On most other forums I find that women quickly get shouted down on various subjects, unless they only express the most 'lib fem, sexpos' opinions possible. At the same time there can be an anti male bias, so it's really a matter of keeping the balance fair.
As a woman I lurk and ocassionally post on a forum that is identified as a gay man's forum. Most of the threads are general (not specifically about gay men) so I tend to comment on them, simply because they are interesting. Most forums on the internet will have members that aren't in the identified group, it's only a problem if they are disrespectful or start trolling.