Aibu - photos of children on kids on social media

[ThisAintALoveSong]

Hope the title of the thread isn't too alarming, just not sure how to word it.

I'm guilty of posting pics of my young kids on social media, I can't think of a parent I know who doesn't. Does it ever occur to the parent that one day the kid will grow up, find the photos online of them with food all over their faces/mud in their hair/their first day at school or whatever it might be and be embarrassed? Or feel like their privacy was invaded in some way?

I post things like when my youngest was being weaned onto solids and had food all over his face - I found it amusing and cute and yet it was a big milestone in his life. Or when we've had day trips out or holidays, that sort of thing. Some people I know will post photos to show their kids are poorly etc. I don't tend to photograph kids when they are ill, it just wouldn't occur to me to do that.

Just wondered whether anyone has had a child grow up to say 'mum that pic of me you put up when I was 5 years old eating mud (or whatever) is really embarrassing' - social media has played a big part in people's lives in the last decade so it could have happened.

I'm not looking to judge anyone here or be judged. It's only just occurred to me how my kids might feel when they get older. (Also I was going through old Kodak photos of me and my family from the early 90s and I'd be pretty embarrassed at some of them if they were plastered online. I'd probably still find it highly amusing though)

never mind - there will come a point where they get their own back and there will be many pictures of posters in old age homes with soup dribbling down their bristled chins and their wrinkled support stockings with captions like "just visiting grandma

Jokes aside, dbil is sharing pictures on FB of dmil in her dementia care home. This is a woman who once was very glamorous and wouldn't leave the house unless perfectly groomed. She obviously has no say any longer in how the rest of the world views her, now that she is ill

That is truly awful. I did post as kind-of a joke, but with an underlying "I know it will happen". How dare people post pics that they have no right posting. We seem to think it is ok to pick on the vulnerable and do what the heck we like in the name of "progress", "sharing", whatever. It is not right.

I think some photos - baby covered in food looking cute - are acceptable. But I once saw a video on Facebook of a couple laughing at their baby in the back of their car. She had pooed herself and was eating her own poo :( I felt terribly sorry for the baby. Imagine your parents putting videoing it, much less putting it on the internet!

I personally don't - we are not on FB.
I think a consideration should also be what they do in the future ...
The pictures are out there, not just baby photos, I think more teenager snaps ...
As what if they run for parliament, be the next Kate Middleton ...
It seems the media love to dig up whatever they can to cause harm.

*I agree with this - son people think everyone is sooooo interested in their children and post every detail. It feels wrong in so many ways.

I know things about these children that I shouldn't know, my kids know things about others that they shouldn't know, and you can't take it back. You can't hide it.

These things will bite them on the bum eventually - but it won't be thenparwnts dealing with it - it will be the children*

Golly overdramatic aren't you 😂

Just checked over the last few pics I posted of my daughter on FB. In the last 12 months - if you were my friend you'd have know she went on hols with me and her grandparents and made her own outfit for a day at school. Desperately intimate details there which would clearly render you uncomfortable 😜

I take pics. Not a single one is unkind or embarrassing. If I want to share I ask. If she says yes that's fine, if no I don't. There's going to be no fallout here to "deal with".

Not sure if similar has already been mentioned... my FIL is on FB and posts pics of the kids. Unbeknownst to me his password was quite an easy one to crack, someone did crack it and set up a duplicate account and started messaging his contacts for money. They downloaded photos of my dcs and added them to the dupe profile to make it look genuine... it made me think very hard about what I post on social media!

I only post photos taken in public. They could, conceivably, be taken by anyone at the same public venue so I can't see the harm.

I also only took very benign photos, but there was something quite alarming about an unknown person having copies of photos of my dcs. It brought the point home about all content posted online being public property despite private accounts and security settings etc.

I have loads of pictures of my two on mine. It's like a little diary of their life. But there are no embarrassing or naked pics. I also feel that they are such a substantial part of my life that I want the pics of us together up there. My privacy settings are friends only and all my friends are actually genuine friends.

I'd wonder if I didn't have many pictures up there of my kids if they would have said 'how come there's none of me mum?'

I love the feature FB has of '1 year ago' etc as it shows me pictures and it makes me look back over them, I love reminiscing.

I can't see how it's worse than a photo album my parents did of me as a child (my parents were photo obsessed and we have about 15-20 heavy albums full) they too showed friends and family pictures.

My friend total is only about 200 people though. Not sure about folks who have 500+ friends on their FB page.

they too showed friends and family pictures

It's like the old jokes of being dragged round someone's house and shown endless holiday snaps - no ones that interested

We have one woman at work who posts every detail of her DS -

Bed wetting bullying illness everything - the running joke is that we know her son better than our own!! Drives everyone potty -

She's beginning to realize she's very much in a restricted view as she asks 'did you see X had a school certificate?' No? I posted it yesterday (sad face)

I'm sorry but 200 friends aren't that interested - otherwise they'd be asking

It's like the old jokes of being dragged round someone's house and shown endless holiday snaps - no ones that interested

Except its FB, so you have actually chosen to be their friend and see their photos. It's actually like inviting yourself over to their house, looking at pics of their kids and then berating them for showing them to you.

I'm sorry but 200 friends aren't that interested - otherwise they'd be asking

Except that's the point of FB - is a sharing platform. So by being friends with someone you're accepting you're going to see what they're posting.

Or if you don't want to, there are plenty of options to not see what's being posted.

It isn't like there's a gun to your head to look at pics 😂

People don't have to see my pictures- they can be a friend and 'unfollow' so that allows them to keep in contact but look at my life when they want rather than their news feed dictates.

I like seeing fellow classmates and their now children. It's fab seeing how all our lives have changed and we laugh about what we used to get up to/ thought we would do in the future.

My "child" is an adult now and frequently included in photos taken by friends that I dont like. I have posted pictures of them as a child but they were mainly for their 18th birthday as a reminder of good moments in their life and so they could, if they wished, show them to a friend who wanted to see old photos. I do have photos and a video that are definitely family consumption only.

My ground rules are no photos partially clothed, nothing I see as embarrassing and I'll take down anything they really object to. So far they didnt like one but didnt feel strongly enough to have it taken down. I also very strictly limit who is on my Facebook with those I dont feel I can refuse on a restricted list.

I wish their friends would adopt the same rules.

I had photos of DS in fancy dress, they were in an album with other family photos. When he was in his teens I found the fancy dress ones were missing. He'd thrown them out. Embarrassment was one thing, I can do without a 10 year old superhero but I do wish I still had the one of him in denims with theatrical hair applied. He made a great Preteen Wolf!!

I'm not really bothered if my children find it embarrassing tbh. Not the end of the world is it.

Really, falange? It's all about you?

Yes! It's that parent!!

We know you don't care - because you validate your wonderful parenting by posting fab pictures

I post photos of my children to share with family and friends on the other side of the world. It's much, much easier than emailing as it doesn't have a size limit. My FB profile is private and only friends can see or comment on photos.

Out of curiosity, I googled my children's full names to see if anything came up and there is nothing. Their full names are unusual (first name + surname less so). The only people who can see things are those I choose to see.

MIL often shares photos that DH or I have put up but doesn't realise that only DH's and my friends can see them (unless we've tagged her in the photo). The photos can only be seen by the audience the original poster chooses for them.

As well as the private setting, we don't share embarrassing, naked, ill or potty training pics of our children.

I post pictures of them on Facebook, and my page is closed down to only friends and family.
It's only ever ones of them playing in the garden or on days out or whatever. You know, nice ones.
I've seen some friends post pictures of their kids sat on the potty "yay, look he's weeing in the potty!"
Why would you even do that?! That's crossing a line, in my opinion. Give them SOME privacy at least!

The photos can only be seen by the audience the original poster chooses for them.

Not true - raisiny screen shot and reposted

Easily

A relative of mine has always been keen to share with friends and family pictures of her children. Then she started uploading all the old family photos from a deceased grandparent. Unfortunately this included some rather embarrassing photos of several members of the family. She was keen to point out, that it was only going to her friends and family, as that was her security settings.

The thing is that just because she trusted all the "friends" not to re-publish the photos, did not mean that we felt the same confidence in people we did not know.

The pictures included ones of half naked children, and little boy dressed up in a frilly pink dress for a joke. Beside the "fat" pictures and "pulling silly face" pictures.

These are people who are now adults include a police officer, doctor, teacher..... and in each photo she tagged the person involved, so that immediately it went to all the friends of those adults, as well as all her own friends. So that any of these friends of the tagged person could now see the pictures.

Was this appropriate?????

Yes according to many on here - I think it's really disrespectful, either child nor adult.

The old lady having once been glamorous now being seen in her illness is just awful

Those who post funeral pictures are equally vile.

Yes according to many on here - I think it's really disrespectful, either child nor adult

And yet equally "many" if not more have said they're very careful to post only pictures which won't embarrass they're children. That got a bit overlooked though didn't it!

^Google my name and you'll know where I was and what I was doing, often with photos, on any given weekend. I dont like it but can't see a way to avoid it unless you don't ever participate in anything"
??
I participate in loads of things, but I am not all over the internet and no one can see where I was and what I did which weekend, if they google my name...