Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there's nothing wrong with my son's behaviour

372 replies

Happyhippy45 · 13/04/2017 15:32

He sits beside me for a cuddle. Comes up to me and gives me hugs. He'll sit on my lap (kind of for a laugh as he's too heavy.)
Holds my hand when he's chatting to me.
He's friendly and out going and has always been comfortable and confident and a willing participant in conversations with adults and peers.
TBH he's always been like this.
He's nearly 20.
I had a family member being very disapproving of some of his behaviours because his son of the same age doesn't act like that.
Just wondered if anyone else has a son who behaves like this?

OP posts:
BabychamSocialist · 13/04/2017 18:05

Sorry, just read your other posts and actually none of it sounds weird. I thought you meant he sat on your lap regularly or held your hand 24/7.

None of it sounds odd to me really. DS1 and DS2 will link my arm if we're going somewhere and I'm wearing high heels just in case I fall over. I think the world is moving on and it's OK now to express your emotions for someone without being insulted for it.

MummyAndHerMotleyCrue · 13/04/2017 18:07

Im 26 and like this with my dad =)

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 13/04/2017 18:07

babycham
If he did it all the time I'd be worried!

OP posts:
Daydream007 · 13/04/2017 18:08

I hope my son continues to be as affectionate when he turns 20. Ignore any negative comments, its just jealousy of the great relationship you have with your son.

honeylulu · 13/04/2017 18:19

I think he sounds nice.

katronfon · 13/04/2017 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BareGrylls · 13/04/2017 18:24

Perfectly normal and lovely.
My 21 year old DS is very affectionate. Always a big bear hug when he comes home whether he's been away for months or just the day. He will hug me or pick me up and swing me around. Does the same to DH and his brother.

muckypup73 · 13/04/2017 18:24

It is not normal, but as someone else says its nice, is he quite imature?

HelpTheTigers · 13/04/2017 18:27

Maybe not 'average' but yes to 'normal'. I think that he sounds lovely and someone who you can justly be proud of. What's not to like?

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 13/04/2017 18:28

Nope, not immature. Not a mummy's boy. Not clingy.
I was just asking if other folks kids were the same as mine because the majority of my friends kids don't do this!

OP posts:
IndiaGrace · 13/04/2017 18:30

I'm sure it's lovely for you OP.

But, to quote the legendary Roz Doyle, I'd dump him like radioactive waste if he was my boyfriend and I witnessed him holding your hand or sitting on your knee. Not my thing at all.

katronfon · 13/04/2017 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 13/04/2017 18:36

My daughter will give me a hug, and she will kiss me goodnight, when she is home from uni, she's the same age.

I think if she was holding my hand to just normally chat to me or sitting on my knee, I'd be a little concerned she was lacking independence and was immature.

The real concern is any partner he has will probably be very concerned to witness such behaviour. I'll be honest, hugging your mum hello or good bye when you are visiting is one thing, doing it if you still live there and see her all the time, sitting on her knee and holding her hand would have me and most women out of there like a shot.

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/04/2017 18:37

Aw he sounds lovely and very secure in himself.

Especially after your update I find it sad that anyone would think it weird. Envy maybe.

123beanie · 13/04/2017 18:43

Sounds like you have a lovely close relationship OP. Not weird, just sweet.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 13/04/2017 18:44

The guys I know all hug each other in greeting or when leaving... women hug and kiss for the same. I didn't know we were all American, I will have to do a facebook announcement!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/04/2017 18:49

I think my legs would break if one of my giant sons sat on my lap Grin

It sounds like you're quite comfortable with it, happy. Just bear in mind that some friends or visitors to your house might give you a Hmm face upon witnessing it.

Grilledaubergines · 13/04/2017 18:49

He sounds like lovely lad. Some folk have odd ideas or immaturity it normality but if you're an affectionate family it's totally normal. Not sure that people would think it weird if you'd said it was your daughter.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/04/2017 18:50

I think that's really sweet ! My nephew is like this with my SIL (sometimes ) it's cute 😘

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 13/04/2017 18:56

babydubs
Seriously, when we left the UK it wasn't the done thing. When we came back we noticed more and more guys comfortable with hugging their mates.
We are as a nation becoming Americanised.

OP posts:
whosahappyharry · 13/04/2017 18:56

I am 20 - I wouldn't do this as I'm not a very naturally touchy feely person but my brother who is a few years younger than myself is more inclined to regularly hug me and our mum, rub shoulder etc. and I expect will continue to be so throughout adulthood.

It's very sweet and whilst your initial post sounded a bit "weird", your follow up posts sound normal enough!

neonrainbow · 13/04/2017 19:00

I thought you were going to say he was 4. At 20 that's bloody weird.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 13/04/2017 19:00

whoshappy
Yeah, his elder sister is barely demonstrative. We're all different I suppose.

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 13/04/2017 19:11

i sometimes randomly hold my dads hand/link his arm when we're out as a 20 second or so affectionate gesture or give him a hug in the middle of the aisle in tesco, and i'm 27.
IMO its no different to saying "i love you"
If i didnt have ocd and need personal space i'd love to sit and have cuddles with him, he's my best friend.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 13/04/2017 19:12

That's lovely almost

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread