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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 12/04/2017 12:01

How do children learn to chat and eat a meal (so they grow up into non-screen using teens and adults) if the moment their arses hit a chair their parents thrust tablets at them.

The children in the OP are NT and old enough to sit through a meal, they hadn't had time to start playing up or needing to be distracted. Their parents weren't prepared to use the screens as a Plan B if the children wouldn't sit and eat, they chose to use the screens as Plan A, thus avoiding the need to interact with their children.

Tabimux · 12/04/2017 12:02

I went to a friends wedding once - it was 'no children' apart from babes in arms and their god children. The god children sat on a table with their parents....during the meal and speeches not only were the children plugged into their phones the whole time but the parents were too! I hate seeing electronics taking pride of place at the dinner but can understand that sometimes its in the toolbox to deal with sticky situations!

I went for a meal for my 30th at a Michelin star restaurant, one off experience....we were sat next to a couple who for the 5 course tasting menu sat with their phones on the table, not talking, scrolling with one hand looking down and a fork dangling in the other!

I think I can kind of forgive the kids at the dinner table if anything....Totally understand the distraction technique (I've resorted to in the night garden on my phone with my 16 month old from time to time) - but to sit down phone in hand from the outset seems a bit disheartening.....even more so when its the adults doing it not the kids!

abcBears · 12/04/2017 12:06

How do children learn to chat and eat a meal

because parents teach them, but there's a time and a place. Having diner with friends is not the time to show off your wonderful parenting techniques and the amazing conversation skills of your 4 year old. Nobody cares.

ChampagneTastes · 12/04/2017 12:08

Oooh we went to a wedding there once, it was ace! DS was two at the time and there were three LONG courses. He just ate continually without any sort of distraction whatsoever. This sounds like a brag until you realise that he was simply inhaling carbs for three hours solid. Other tables had to donate their bread baskets. It was impressive. Grin

HorridHenryrule · 12/04/2017 12:09

Did they look disappointed with you for not engaging in adult chit chat. It sounds like you had a wonderful meal and chat with your children.

HearTheThunderRoar · 12/04/2017 12:10

I agree with you OP, I don't see why children need tablets at a table, surely they can survive with telly for a couple of hours?!

Pre iPads etc, most young children coped fine in restaurants.

NoCapes · 12/04/2017 12:11

6 is very old to be watching Peppa Pig

scoopmuckanddizzyrollytoo · 12/04/2017 12:13

Can't you teach he's skills at one, we sit round a table for dinner and chat ect... When on the odd occasion we have dinner out u want to chat to show. Romantic date with 3 kids in tow 😁

scoopmuckanddizzyrollytoo · 12/04/2017 12:13

*home

scoopmuckanddizzyrollytoo · 12/04/2017 12:14
  • chat to dh. I give up 😂😂
PerspicaciaTick · 12/04/2017 12:14

abc Are you suggesting that you teach children how to behave in a restaurant by teaching them to eat and chat in a restaurant while they are somewhere that isn't in a restaurant then reinforcing the learning by giving them a screen when they are in a restaurant?

Seems like a lot of hard work and very confusing to me, much simpler to teach them from the outset that sitting round a table to eat means eating and chatting (and keep the screens up your sleeve for an emergency).

ohtheholidays · 12/04/2017 12:15

YANBU,I bloody hate it as well.

The worst is when the children have the sodding things on so loud that's all you can hear through the whole restaurant!

We have 5DC and 2 of our children are registered disabled,they're both autistic and it's honesstly not something we've ever done.

Even the oldest one's don't have they're phones out when were eating together at home let alone in a restaurant.

I do find it very strange and if it's supposed to be keeping the child/children quiet it doesn't always work from what I've seen.

I've seen children with phones/tablets on(and on bloody loud)in a restaurant and the children have still clambered about on the seats,shouted/screamed,ran around the restaurant,if they're tiny I know that it is hard and it's part of they're age and growing up but that doesn't absolve the parents of there responsibility yet so many seem to think they've done they're bit by giving them a screen to look at.

For those parents you haven't so bloody parent your children so the whole meal isn't spoilt for every other person that's dining near you and if your child is double figures and has no extra needs going on then you really need to sort it out!

Flowerbunty · 12/04/2017 12:16

God. It's a miracle that my parents were ever able to take me to a restaurant before phones and tablets existed.

Oh yeah. That's right, they told and reenforced the behaviour that was expected of me.

sirfredfredgeorge · 12/04/2017 12:19

You don't teach kids how to chat in a restaurant by "keeping an eye on them" or occasionally pointing out things you can see out of the window. That is not conversation, which is the skill required to be learnt first, it's not a good idea to try and teach that skill to a 4 year old when out with other adults, the adult conversation goes above the head of the 4 year old, and it's rude to your fellow diners if you keep the conversation pitched at an appropriate level for the 4 year old.

KellyBoo000 · 12/04/2017 12:20

I wouldn't do it myself but you don't know if there's more to it. The kids might have been having a bad morning, playing up or something - maybe not wanting to go out for lunch - and the parents told them that if they behaved then they could watch Peppa Pig. Although even if there isn't more to it than that, it's really not a problem.

It doesn't mean the parents don't ever interact with their children. It just means for a short period of time they provided their kids with a distraction so they could have some adult conversation.

And this is coming from someone who really limits screentime with my DSD.

Reactivedog · 12/04/2017 12:23

Judging at every level Grin

6 is very old to be watching Peppa Pig

Dancergirl · 12/04/2017 12:25

I don't see any difference at all between this and giving the kids colouring in to do, or a puzzle sheet

It's COMPLETELY different. I don't mind my dc colouring or doing puzzles at the table (only before the food arrives). I chat to them about what they're doing or do the puzzles together or whatever, it provides a source of conversation at their level. But screens...? It's a solitary activity and they become zombie like, oblivious to anything else going on around them.

OP YANBU at all (even if that makes you a 'better' parent Grin)

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 12/04/2017 12:26

I'm with you op.

I find it odd that people say 'well would you rather they were running around screaming' like that is the only other option.

In my opinion part of the deal when you have children is that there are certain things you can no longer do until your children are old enough. Going to a restaurant like that is one of those things.

I get so pissed off with the 'in other countries they actually like children' comments too.
When I was in France last we spent an evening at a lovely restaurant with a lot of families there. Children ranged from toddlers upwards. We noted at the time that there were no children running around and no children on phones or tablets. All the children were sat at the table either talking to other children or the parents.
So perhaps other countries like children because there isn't such I 'I have a child and therefore the world must change to accommodate me' attitude. Expecting that your child shouldn't follow the expected rules of behaviour is what ends up with an entitled generation.

abcBears · 12/04/2017 12:27

PerspicaciaTick

God you are hard work, it's much easier to talk with my kids thankfully. I teach my kids when we are in a restaurant as a family, or when we are having diner at home as a family.

I was raised in a family where children are not part of formal diners, and were at children tables in big family reunions, weddings etc. So much better for everybody.

Other people's children are boring - at best. No one cares about the fascinating conversations of a 5 year old. I don't impose my kids on other adults. I smile and hide my feelings when I have to put up with a diner centered around some little brat who has to be the center of attention, doesn't know how to hold his cutlery properly and the mind-numbingly boring interactions with his parents. You cannot do 2 things at once.

AtomHeart · 12/04/2017 12:29

Congratulations,OP on being a perfect mum. What does it feel like?

Faithless · 12/04/2017 12:30

Didn't their children want to play or chat with yours, and did your children not want to see what the others were doing on their screens? I'm probably missing the point, but I'm surprised the children weren't interacting with each other. In my experience, new kids to play with tends to trump screens .

mudddypudddles · 12/04/2017 12:31

Well done you. Bet you made it very clear what a better parent you think you are.

I play with my kids, we paint, go to the park, go to groups, museums, everything you can think of, but in a restaurant I want to eat my meal in peace and if my kids are being fussy or not sitting still, the kindles come out and they can watch something. Means whoever else I am eating with (friend, DH, whoever) and I can talk and not be on at the kids to sit still, stop messing around etc all the way through.

Don't really give a shit what anyone thinks of that. My parenting is not solely based on the fact I allow the kids to use kindles.

People are obsessed over 'screen time' and they need to get over it.

Dancergirl · 12/04/2017 12:32

Congratulations,OP on being a perfect mum. What does it feel like?

For goodness sake, stop with the sarcastic comments already. Can't anyone raise anything about parenting without someone calling them perfect?! I'm sure the OP isn't perfect, but she is talking about ONE issue. FFS.

KoalaDownUnder · 12/04/2017 12:32

I'm with you, OP.

YANBU in any way.

Dancergirl · 12/04/2017 12:37

OP - my TEEN dd judged a family in a restaurant recently whose kids were on phones pretty much throughout the meal!

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