Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

[SilverLeafClover]

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

We don't know what their DC would have been like without the screens, so it may have been a good call.
My judgy pants are hoisted at the parents not talking to their DC at all, and also at Peppa pig, that sanctimonious little squealler.

So those who think it's fine, at what age do you think children can sit in a restaurant without screens? And only on MN do people criticize parents for engaging with their children! We talked to our children, discussed where the boats might be headed, debated the breed of two beautiful dogs we could see, talked about tides. Without any of it being performance parenting. We enjoy talking to our kids!

Mine don't use screens in restaurants. They do other stuff; lego, colouring, reading. Some children won't do those or won't sit still long enough to give their parents a break, though, so no judgement from this corner. Doesn't matter who or where it is; parents need a break, too.

It is very pretty!

it seems no matter what you do you get judged,
I always take colouring books and interact with my child when we go for meals but sometimes I do resort to getting the kindle out if we are waiting a long time for food. My daughter has ear phones as well so not to disturb others. If the kids were making too much noise you would moan and they were happily watching the screens whilst going for food,. think before you judge you are getting a SNAPSHOT of that moment for just one day does it actually affect you? No so stop judging,. you can't win IMO. if the kids were playing or talking too loudly you would have probably moaned. I don't personally allow my child to eat whilst watching TV but each to their own.

Is Fifteen a St Jamie restaurant? Because you were being very unreasonable to eat in one of his places.

I am not sure if people are not reading my posts. I agree small children need help to sit through a long meal (although this was not a long meal). And that screens have a place.

My issue is with screens from he second they sat down, to the very end of the meal, during the food, and without a word spoken by the parents. That is all!

I judge and tut when I see that happening in any public places!

Yes, Itaintme it is one of the places Jamie Oliver set up to support young people. The bastard!

Sometimes I liked to talk to my adult friends. Children don't need constant interaction from their parents.

I don't think it's ideal but knowing my son has SEN I try to be mindful that everyone's circumstances are different. You don't know that family. Nobody died, they had a peaceful meal and they weren't bothering you.
You seem to have spent a lot of time mulling over it which contradicts your account of enjoying a meal and lovely view with you family. Concentrate on yourself.

Exploit young people more like

Must be nice to be able to eat in restaurants as a family. Some children have autism and freak the fuck out in new places full of unfamiliar people and sounds and smells. Sometimes watching a safe, comforting movie/TV show is enough to make them feel okay with the whole thing long enough for their parents to eat.

Well done on your parenting and having children with great social skills.

And the food was delicious! Burrata with asparagus and pangritata was yum.

Children of all ages can sit without screens, you're completely missing the point, it's not about if they can, it's about if there's any value judgement if they choose not to. There's not, there's nothing wrong with it.

Your own description is of dining companions that aren't fun for the kids - neither you or your kids talked to them, your kids were only talked to when there were things to point out, and you mostly just talked with the other adults.

A meal, is about a communal conversation, kids don't need an "eye kept on them" in that situation as they are simply part of the conversation. If the kids are too young, or the adults are not interested in having them join the conversation, then screens, or indeed anything else to make the meal more than something to sit through and endure is completely fine.

Lemon

The kids in question are both NT.

watch
I do know the family in question.

Hopefully your friend is'nt on mumsnet, or even just googles Fifteen near Newquay because this thread will appear in the search results and they"ll see you slagging them off.

I don't actually mind little ones using phones and pads at the table. I DO judge older children and teens however.
I remember seeing a table in a restaurant where the mum (I assumed) had five teens at the table with her, and they all had their heads buried in their phones.
She just looked at me and rolled her eyes, and I could see that she was bored rigid.

She paid the bill though.

It's pretty anti social when there were other kids there they could have been chatting to.

You know, I reckon there's enough details in this thread to make good story for the DM. The OP has even offered up a picture to go with the story!
Who want's to take bets? I reckon it'll be online by COB this Friday, latest.

My DD is 8 now so she can usually get through a whole meal just chatting/being social, but if service is slow or she's the only child I will let her have my phone to play some games or she might have a book or something, but it depends on the context.

If we're going to a family friendly restaurant with close friends where our kids know each other, we'll usually just let them all sit together and amuse themselves, maybe give them some paper & pens to play some games or something but the service in family places tends to be quick and a bit of kids chatting/playing is expected (within reason)

If I was taking my child to an upscale restaurant, then I would take whatever it took to stop her disturbing other diners (especially if the service wasn't particularly fast) and whilst I love a good view, my DD couldn't give a shit because she's 8 and that's not interesting to her.

Perhaps you saw it as the two families going for a family meal out, so wanted to include your kids in the entire experience, and perhaps your friends saw it as a chance to have an adult lunch with their friends and catch up (hence the venue) but their kids were there. So rather than try to force them to participate, or spend the whole time trying to keep them interested whilst having an adult conversation, they took the easy route of giving them something that amused them so their parents could chat and have lunch.

Ds doesn't have screens (not interested in them) but does have loads of sensory stuff to touch, tap, mouth and wave about during meals. That is how he copes. Other similar children will use screens for the same purpose.

I absolutely don't care at all what other parents do in cafes / food places..keep your child quiet by any means you choose,..just make sure they are ,quiet....having had 4 little ones I never left home without a bag of colouring books,pencils,little toys..we played hangman a lot,or squares..mine were always whipped out at the slightest noise I can't abide disturbing other people...in fact we just traveled first class to Penzance with my 7 yr old ,5 hours on the train..no phone ,or iPad ,or ds..we read,chatted,coloured ..im not a fan of kids and screens

Op a few things to consider, do you think your friend knows her dc better than you?

Do you think bar the two hours they were with you sat glued to their screens, your friend does in fact interact and talk to her dc? Or do you feel this is a an by hour daily event in their lives.

Its just that - my 4 year old wont sit and has never ever sat nicely at a table, she has never been strapped in, she never took to a high chair, pram, airplane seat, even her car seat she has fought and fought to be out of it.

My 4 year old is also whilst a lovely little girl, very very active, eating at a restuarant has been something we have been able to do actually, and on holiday the only way we can get her to sit - and literally let us take our eyes of her for a second has been to give her her tablet. However we lead very full lives, they do loads of actives, are out at museums, woods, NT houses mostly both days on the weekend.

We also have an older DD who has beautiful table manners and can more than hold her own in conversation she is now 10. She was similar to DD2 but not as bad, so - we have managed to turn out a young lady who can talk, and interact with other young people but also highly educated adults.

i don't find this country to be very accommodating of young children and the only time out and about I have fully relaxed has been in places like Italy or Spain. This is where people don't wince when a child cries when they are out.

Its a bit of a loose loose situation. We don't inflict our younger DD on people in restaurants, not fair on them and no fun for us, and on the very odd occasion we have, after the rubbish crayons and colouring have run out - given her her tablet to watch something on, its the only way for us. To buy us a few moments of peace. We have no family support system all sadly passed away, and no money to pay for baby sitters.

It makes me sad people like you are looking over and judging us, but at the same time I would like to see my older DD compared with your Dc - chatting at the same high level of discourse.