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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
nicknamehelp · 12/04/2017 11:15

I've never allowed screens at the table
If i felt was going to be a long meal when they were younger would take colouring/puzzle books.

We went out the other Sunday and the exact same thing happened at the next table. I fear we are raising a generation of kids who want be able to socially interact

Original poster
SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:15

I don't think I am a better parent.

But I don't ignore my children and I don't give them unlimited screen time in a restaurant. I talk to them.

OP posts:
debbs77 · 12/04/2017 11:15

When my older children were small, I was able to take them out where I wanted and they were fine. However my younger two wouldn't sit still and would be disruptive and trying to get down. You would be complaining if the kids were running around the restaurant!

nonameinspiration · 12/04/2017 11:16

I dunno. Mixed feelings on this based on my own experience. I never went out to eat with dd1 when she was small without her 'going out bag' which had toys and colouring in it because she got so bored.

When I had dd2 there was a period I gave up going out to eat because both of them were a fecking nightmare and they frankly spoiled my meal.

They are 4 and 7 now and I still try and either go somewhere there's colouring - pizza express etc or bring something.

I think letting them have the phones constantly is a bit chav but at the same time if that's the only thing that allows the parents to enjoy a meal and adult company I fully sympathise .

Original poster
SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:16

Not sure I am overinvested.

Just surprised. And wanted other opinions. That is what MN is for!

OP posts:
Majorgoodwinschickenbeatstrump · 12/04/2017 11:16

Bit daft going into so much detail really - what if your friends read this? Shock to me it's the modern equivalent of the coloring pad and crayons that used to come out, restaurants are pretty boring for kids.

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 11:17

You clearly do think you are a better parent or you wouldn't have started this thread to slag off your 'friends' parenting

bigmack · 12/04/2017 11:17

'I don't think I am a better parent.'Grin

Batgirlspants · 12/04/2017 11:18

But children of 4 and 6 with no special needs, shouldn't be disturbing diners Hmm they are well old enough to eat a meal and chat.

porkforsupper · 12/04/2017 11:19

Digital dummies!

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 11:19

And then some idiot comes along and says its a bit 'chav'

Fuck me, this place sometimes.

Original poster
SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:19

I think parenting is complicated. I have my own blind spots, of course. But to me there are certain basics. This is one of them. Not sure why that means I think I am better than anyone else.

OP posts:
Emphasise · 12/04/2017 11:19

I think it was really rude of them, as they were in the company of other children to chat to, although I might have had the gadgets handy for if it all got a bit noisy, there would have been an expectation that they were shared with all the children in the group.

If they were the only children in a group of adults I could live with it, if it kept them quiet for the adult conversation.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 12/04/2017 11:19

Did you tell your friends they are shit parents? Did you talk to the kids or try to get them to look at what your kids were looking at outside and engage them in conversation? Or did you just make a mental note to put a pretty identifying thread on MN so people can tell you that your friends are awful and you are a wonderful parent?

ThePigletatwork · 12/04/2017 11:20

As long as the sound was off.
That bloody theme tune drives me nuts!

gunsandbanjos · 12/04/2017 11:20

YANBU, I completely agree with you.

sirfredfredgeorge · 12/04/2017 11:20

All you did with your children was point out boats and surfers - that's hardly engaging them, if you'd included them in the conversations then that would be engaging. Occasionally exclaiming - "ooh look a boat" is pointless, the kids can see the boat themselves.

YABU, there is nothing wrong with either approach, personally expecting them to "sit through", with only the occasional thing pointed out to them is less nice on the kids than watching a phone. Neither are very nice on the kids, but one is not better than the other.

Emphasise · 12/04/2017 11:21

I used to be very smug because my dc read books to keep them quiet at the table. Blush

Teens now, but still no gadgets at dinner, ever and I do think we're all better/happier people for it

Wolfiefan · 12/04/2017 11:22

I hope your "friends" see this and realise how judgy you are. You have clearly started this thread so everyone can say that's awful. What dreadful parents. Clearly your way is just so much better. Have a gold parenting star.
Butt out.

Original poster
SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:22

I have said screen time is fine at restaurants if the service is slow or whatever.

But I do struggle to think two NT children, not toddlers, expect screens non stop and the parents don't talk to them.

My children can be boisterous and naughty. They are children. But surely children need to be given guidance and have expectations set?

OP posts:
Jaynebxl · 12/04/2017 11:22

I don't have any problem with screens in a restaurant. I do have a problem with screens from start to finish. How will the children ever learn table social skills? I take mine to restaurants and expect them to chat and stuff. I don't mind then if they have some screen time although not while the food is on the table. It's all all out balance and screens start to finish is going to have so many consequences.

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 11:23

Did you boom out. 'Oh look little jimmy it's a boat , what sort of boat is it?' ' while looking around to see that everyone could see you were a very good parent?

Original poster
SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:23

Not sure where I said I just pointed out "there's a boat" 🙄🙄🙄

OP posts:
nonameinspiration · 12/04/2017 11:25

This is a thread about superior parenting and name dropping a restaurant. I stand by chav Grin

hooliodancer · 12/04/2017 11:25

It's a cultural thing over here I think, stemming from being seen and not heard. So keeping quiet so parents can eat in peace has always been the norm Totally understandable I think to want to enjoy an expensive meal in relative peace.

In Greece I have never seen a child make any sort of disruption/noise/run about. I have never seen them given crayons or a screen either. It's cultural there, I think because food is very important, and a lot of eating has always happened outside.

Is fifteen worth the trip then? Is it brutally expensive? The views sound amazing.