AIBU to pack DH and the kids' cases?

[Confuso]

A friend who is normally lovely has just turned on me out of the blue. I've had her 7 year old DD here all day which is absolutely fine as she is good friends with my DD. My older two have been mooching around and I've been mainly in "project pack" as we're going on holiday tomorrow night.

When my friend came to collect at 4pm, she had to come upstairs and drag her DD out of our wardrobe because she was playing a hiding game. In the midst of this she suddenly started on me, saying she couldn't believe I was actually ironing and packing for DH. Haven't I got enough to do with the kids? I should stop acting like a bloody martyr because this man doesn't know he's born and never did. Her 12 year old packs his own stuff like any other capable child and I should stop pandering to the lot of them. I have been making a rod for my own back for too long and DH is on another planet There was more as well.

Don't most people pack for the family if you're going away and AIBU to think I'm not weird and wonder what all that was about? I feel quite upset tbh as I've had her DD for 2 days and that's how she speaks to me.

BitOut - I apologise if I come across as smug. I would never usually say the above in real life for that reason, but I was responding to motherinferior and some other PPs implication that my life is a drudge, a waste of potential or even some kind of 'surrendered wife' because I've had pages of this.
I do have income because it's family income. If I was working it would all be merged anyway.

I love the picture you paint S1enna that women have little jobs doing admin for some company or other You do know that many women have well-paid jobs and careers, that they do jobs with massive amounts of responsibility and interest, they een run their own companies. Hell, we may even have a female prime minister one day

I'm not belittling SAHMs or their role. But I loathe all this precious memories shit that some SAHMs peddle to justify themselves / make WOHMs feel shit.

By OP all you've done in response to motherinferior's assertion that SAHM's lives are drudgery (which I don't think she did say anyway) by saying that WOHM's lives are just a soulless surrender to the rat race and that they miss their DCs' childhood to chase the mighty dollar. We both know that neither of those things are the truth.

And yes, you do sound smug. Sorry but you do.

What I said was I'd rather like the deal of having someone else handle all that stuff for me (including the Precious Moments, actually. Especially sports days, which were invented to get parents into the workplace IMO).

I would, I admit, find it v wearing to spend even part of my life checking the state of someone else's pants. I stand by that. I accept not everyone feels that way.

And wtf to 'doing admin for some company or other'? I've been freelance for the past 20 years. Before that I ran comms departments.

(And steady on, BoP, don't want the ladies getting above themselves. Start with a bit of judicious voting, eh?)

Bitof - 99.9% of the belittling and criticism on this thread had been aimed at my lifestyle and other PPs who might dare to do things like their DH's laundry.

I find it amazing that grown adults are packing for each other. I would never do this for someone who could physically do it themselves and would hate for someone to do mine

I find it amazing that a grown adult can't stop and think for a second "hey there are other people that aren't me, that do things differently to me....(and here's the crucial bit) might actually also be completely acceptable and make sense for them"

How stupid and narrowminded some women are.

I have no view about anyone's job because it's meaningless to me. It depends what the job is for a start. Some people have a vocation, some do it for the money, some jobs are crap and a lot more drudge than being at home. This is my life and who is anyone else to tell me I'm unfulfilled? Being fulfilled is a state of mind, not a pay cheque. How am I less independent than anyone else?

Being fulfilled is a state of mind, not a pay cheque.

100% agree.

MotherInferior apologies. I forgot myself and my place

You are not financially independent op no matter how you paint it. If, god forbid, something happened to your Dh or marriage, that would become abundantly clear.

Nobody has said you are unfulfilled. I have no idea if you're unfulfilled or not. I do know that I personally would not find your role fulfilling. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. Or that you shouldn't be able to accept that WOH can be fulfilling for some women.

Being financially independent is not some kind of epic goal for everyone. There is nothing wrong with couples depending on each other for things. Interdependence is a good thing when done properly, not a negative.

NabobsFromNobHill

Absolutely.

I know exactly what would happen in the event of a divorce or something happening to DH. He obviously has a will which he's taken me through and nominated people to help me through the process. If we divorced I would still not need to work, although I may decide to as the DC got older. Both myself and the DC have property in name and funds for their education and future. We're not exposed in that way.

Where have I said that WOH isn't fulfilling for women Who in their right mind would think that? I did work for years you know and parts of it were very fulfilling.

confuso - I am in a similar financial position.

Plus I earn more than my OH.
Which is lovely.- I only work 15 hours a week.

Thankyou Nabobs and Skerry - interdependence as we have can mean both people benefit. Just as sharing housework or flexible hours can mean that people benefit in another way.

Sounds ideal Skerry. How do I apply for that job?

It always makes me laugh on these threads how as soon as any SAHM dares to explain that she is not actually stupid and how she might actually be happy and the reasons why, she is accused of disrespect to the whole world of WOHMs. Bizarre!

Yes I am a bad example apparently.

She got no right! Nothing to do with her!

My husband chooses his clothes and I iron and pack the bags otherwise I'd be sat in a restaurant on holiday with a tramp who has stuffed his clothes in the case. It's just easier and helps me relax knowing we have everything in and I can enjoy my holiday better.

I'm getting a little bit lost on the thread now

Confuso - did you manage to speak to your entitled friend and point out it was NOHB and that the appropriate thing to say on that day was thank you for having my kids?

Travelling home today SouthWinds.
I'm not surprised you're a bit lost by this thread

I always pack for DH and DD, whether it be the family holiday or a business trip. He is rubbish at folding shirts, plus I "run the house" and do all things house related. He earns quite a lot more than me (I work part-time) and spends far more time out of the house at work. It just makes sense for me to do it. He just has to let me know of any different or special requirements. What is the big deal?

Apparently there is Wixi, it's a LTB situation!

I don't ever pack for my husband. We jointly pack other things include pre-school children. I would imagine a 7 year old would need help but I wouldn't expect you to do it all.

For the record I'm a stay at home mum. But my DH does all his own ironing etc. My job is our small children during the day and basic housework but we share other jobs and care after he is home 50-50.