A friend is being released from jail and they are having a party

[Foreverhopeful22]

A very good friend of mine had a car crash and because he was driving like an absolute idiot he drove straight into another car at a junction that was turning right.

Previously
He had deviously been done for speeding 90mph In a 40mph zone.

He had a crash where no one was hurt on a separate occasion again running red lights.

His last accident was much more serious he killed a young woman. He was sentenced to 10 years but he has been on good behaviour and will be coming out by end of year. Serving a total of 6 years.

His family and friends are talking about a big party etc. Every time we see them they are talking about what to do and where to do it.

I can't get over the fact that he killed a young woman, she was a mum of two toddlers. I know he is remorseful but still.

My options are to go along with it or to walk away from my closest friends that I've known for 20 years. If I do this there will be a knock on effect of other friends being lost. I literally mean I would be walkin away from pretty much all my friends.

I can't get my head around it. I just keep thinking of the poor woman and her family.

What should I do.

And you OP are one of those decent friends.

My daughter gets out of prison next week. Not for a crime as serious as this . But serious enough the stupid girl got 6 months. She has served 3. There will be no party, no family get together. Just a trip to probation . Yes I will be happy to have her home but it's nothing to celebrate.

drinkswineoutofamug Good luck to her and to you,

drinks I think I remember your original thread about what to take to prison? I'm glad your daughter is being released, I hope she managed ok in there.

Forever, I think you're being a true friend.

I wish you well.

I'm so sorry you've had this to deal with, drinkswine; I'm sure you love her very much and will support her, but it must still have been very distressing

Oh, and well done for being so realistic about the whole situation (have just been reading your other thread)

Sorry didn't mean to hate crash OP thread.
Thank you for your kind words.

*gate not hate

Drinks - crash away!

I hope your daughter does well.

Thank you forever.
I think you are in a really difficult position . But my gut would be to stay away from a party if that's what it is. It may of course be taken completely out of context and just be a drink down the local. You can explain your actions and thoughts to him as it has fuck all to do with anyone else , that is what I've learnt . You have stayed being a friend with him, you haven't condoned what he's done . I just hope he is clever enough not to get in a car. He's had his 3 strikes which is more chances than the lady had. I wish you and him luck.

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. I'd go one step further and explain why I wouldn't be going to the party, but then I don't know the friendship group and how it might be received.

I would imagine that the calls of scum bags and shameless have rather made up your mind on that issue. Your friends probably don't seem half bad in comparison to the pasting they got on here.

Good luck with it all.

I have been thinking about it and wondering if he would want to be there either? The outside world must be quite a scary place when you've been detached from it for so long.

I imagine he'll need some proper solid support.

Ignoring the seriousness of crimes, coming out to a changed world must do strange things to your head. Just a walk down the high street would be unrecognisable as shops have gone (Woolworths or BHS) and fashions change. Not to mention everything else that has changed in recent years. How things are done, technology advances. All sorts.

Glue - I totally agree I think it will be tough enough adjusting to outside normality

Miscellaneous- thank you

Drinks - I hope her transition goes well. And thank you for you kind words