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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbour just told me to fuck off!!

280 replies

CrazyCatzCuckoo · 09/04/2017 09:32

Can't believe what's just happened!
We have lived here 10 years and it's just myself and husband now that the kids have grown up and left home
We both work full time so only really in evenings and weekends
Nice family live next door, in their 30s with 2 children, twins aged about 5/6 I would guess ( they go to school as have seen them in uniforms )
Always been polite but as I said not in very much.
We obviously do hear the general noise that comes with having kids, in the garden ( they don't let them out until about 11 which we appreciate as the last people would have them out as soon as it was 8am! ) and crying, shouting and that kind of stuff every now and then but nothing over what I would expect in a family home!
Yesterday I was popping to the shop and as getting into my car I heard a piercing scream; like the little girl was in agony and the mum shouting something, then the boy crying - didn't hear anything from the dad. Assumed maybe the boy had hurt her or some game had gone too far, it was only 6.30 so wasn't bothered remotely by the noise just to add!
I went off to the shops and came back and all quiet.
This morning I saw her taking them out somewhere in the car as I was taking the bins out so said hello, hope everything's okay. She looked at me a bit blankly and then said " why; what do you mean? " I then said " oh I heard a bit of a thud and screaming last night " and she said " and what does that have to do with you? " I then said " I'm not moaning about the noise; I just hoped all was alright " and she replied " well why don't you just fuck off! "
Great - now we live so close together it will be so uncomfortable.
Husband says I shouldn't have said anything; it wasn't my business and shouldn't have made the comment to start with!

OP posts:
TotallyFFC · 09/04/2017 17:37

Lovely!!! Not lively!!! Oops

Fanciedachange17 · 09/04/2017 17:50

How lovely and probably the start of a close friendship. Hats off to the pair of you!

flippinada · 09/04/2017 17:53

That sounds like a positive outcome OP, glad you've resolved things with your neighbour. I'm not surprised she's stressed poor soul - who wouldn't be with all that going on.

Flowers and Cake for both of you!

WankStainWasher · 09/04/2017 18:05

I'm not sure how it works with only two people though

Apparently it doesn't work at all treaclesoda - hence the bumped head and busted lip!! Grin

augustusglupe · 09/04/2017 18:16

So glad to read this outcome OP
I've been there and there's nothing worse than shooting your mouth off and then someone sitting in judgement!! You sound lovely and so does she tbh Smile

Questioningeverything · 09/04/2017 18:19

Oh op I thought from the start of this that ywnbu and by the end I want to give you a big hug, you lovely woman. How sweet and kindhearted you are. She probably feels relieved that she has you next door now, someone understanding and caring. Sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship

ohforfoxsake · 09/04/2017 18:20

Good to hear OP. She did the right thing and she must be so glad she did! She'll reap the rewards from making that move. You sound lovely.

lazyhazysummer · 09/04/2017 18:20

What a lovely outcome, i think now would be the time to buy her some flowers. You'll probably now become he best of friends.

nursebickypegs · 09/04/2017 18:23

My neighbour says stuff like this; he asks why I'm in my PJs in the middle of the day if I answer the door (erm I work nights) and why my parents come over at weekends. He's just so nosy that I avoid all contact with him as much as possible.

If he had said this to me, I'd tell him to fuck off as well.

user1471545174 · 09/04/2017 18:26

Please don't apologise, you've done nothing wrong.

user1471545174 · 09/04/2017 18:27

Ah there is an outcome; I need to RTFT, cancel cheque etc.

nursebickypegs · 09/04/2017 18:39

Oh what a lovely outcome!!! A happy ending on Mumsnet!!!!

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/04/2017 18:41

That's a nice update Smile MIL befriended the neighbours in their last place; the neighbours had a young DD at the time and were expecting another DC. MIL effectively became the DGm! The neighbours are still in touch with her often and have gone to stay as well. MIl was both surprised and touched.

It takes a village etc!

seven201 · 09/04/2017 19:22

Oh dear! I think you came across wrong and got a nerve so she snapped. I think you should pop a card through saying you came across wrong and weren't implying anything etc.

seven201 · 09/04/2017 19:23

Not that you should have to but it might be worth it as you don't want to end up on neighbours at war

seven201 · 09/04/2017 19:24

Ignore me. Just seen your update!

Original poster
CrazyCatzCuckoo · 09/04/2017 19:25

I have learnt a lesson but am glad it's happened as otherwise we would never have had the opportunity for me to help out as I don't see them enough to build up much of a relationship
She's got so much on her plate with the autism being very likely she said, I will happily help as much as I can!
Flowers have been ordered from our local florist and will get hubby to offer some driving lessons - he is a driving instructor thankfully 😂

OP posts:
purplecoathanger · 09/04/2017 19:31

Just wonderful OP, you're a star.

spankhurst · 09/04/2017 19:51

Your neighbour was breathtakingly rude in response to a clearly well-meant enquiry. I would be studiously ignoring her unless she apologised.

spankhurst · 09/04/2017 19:52

Sorry, rtft, rtft..

caffeinequick · 09/04/2017 19:55

That was really rude of her op. I wouldn't think twice about it if someone asked me that question.

LittleLionMansMummy · 09/04/2017 20:09

This is a great example of how someone who genuinely means well can be so easily misjudged both in RL and on the Internet. Perhaps it says that there are too many judgey busybodies out there, so genuine people such as op get a hard time. Op that was a lovely update - so pleased she came around to apologise. Speaks volumes for you how you've handled it too. You seem like a really lovely neighbour to have. Wish there were more of you! Smile

Spadequeen · 09/04/2017 20:17

Don't you love it when people don't read the thread!

Love it even more when there is a good ending. Op you did nothing wrong, sometimes we say things that can be misunderstood. Sometimes people have bad days. Glad that it was all was sorted and you are able to help.

Enjoy you Easter egg hunt

Allfednonedead · 09/04/2017 20:48

I'm so sorry for your neighbour, but pleased for her both that she had the strength and grace to apologise and that she has such a lovely neighbour.
To be clear, my earlier comment about English unfriendliness (I understand it's cultural, not intentional rudeness) was about the comments on this thread, not you (obviously) or even your neighbour.
But as a fellow-mother of twins and a child awaiting assessment for autism, I am very happy to hear of your plans to support her. Flowers for you too!

whitesklyer · 09/04/2017 20:58

Hand on my heard I could not swear or curse at anyone, I might be cross and annoyed and festering but to spit out the F word at my neighbour is alien, regardless of what my neighbour said to me. When did it become acceptable to curse. Why not answer back civilly? What has happened to society in the last 20 years Confused

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