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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

809 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:03

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 11/04/2017 21:21

I dread the day I'm at school dropping my son off and I am openly criticised by someone so self righteous and judgemental as one of you.

Top tip then, don't leave a group of unknown teenagers alone in your house with a "holidays worth" of alcohol. Job done.

Annahibiscuits · 11/04/2017 21:21

Haha, yes, don't fill your kids water bottle with vodka and you'll probably be reet mowgli Grin

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:25

Do you know what, actually, do judge me because I wouldn't like to be friends with a bunch of women like you. You're all very spikey.

I was very very naughty and I turned out more then fine I'm married, have my own business with my husband, have a degree and live a healthy and fulfilling life.
I also used to get drunk until I chundered all over peoples houses but anyway....
And a lot of those well behaved kids are still experimenting now and I have my own house car married and financially very stable... anyway

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:25

Especially soup
It's the kids choices to be twats or not and stop blaming parents and criticising each other's life skills can we?

NabobsFromNobHill · 11/04/2017 21:28

So not only would you give children alcohol and leave them unsupervised, you'd also call them twats when they drink it?

No, I don't think we will stop criticising such parents. Don't worry, you won't make many friends with that attitude. It's not "spikey" its just basically "not being that dick parent that everyone loathes".

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:31

If they go over the top it's their mistake yes.

IAmAmy · 11/04/2017 21:32

Children have alcohol unsupervised at most parties. It's hardly remarkable.

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:33

Correction: I think I won't make many friends like you. I'm just saying kids will be kids and we all need to support each other more then we seem to on this forum. I don't know why I bother when all I see day in and day out is negativity.

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:33

Agreed Amy and I am saying it's not the parents fault if they do and neither is it the parents fault if the kids go over the top like I did. They can still turn out fine in life...

IAmAmy · 11/04/2017 21:35

mowgeli I agree. If it's a gathering as I said earlier in the thread when it's happened with me parents have all spoke to one another and agreed things. With regards to parties, it's inevitable I think.

NabobsFromNobHill · 11/04/2017 21:35

Children have alcohol unsupervised at most parties. It's hardly remarkable

Maybe in the circles you move in. Mos of us have more brains and class than to hand alcohol to unsupervised children!

Annahibiscuits · 11/04/2017 21:36

I don't understand how you don't get it mowgli. Of course, I expect many of us have been under aged drinkers/been sick etc. Kids will experiment/whatever. No one is judging the kids. No one is judging parents, for having kids that do that. What we object to is grown adults, supplying alcohol to other people's children, without consultation, to the extent they are puking and passed out AND not informing the parents, even then!

How are people determined that this is ok?? I'd have you up against a wall for this

NabobsFromNobHill · 11/04/2017 21:36

I'm just saying kids will be kids and we all need to support each other more then we seem to on this forum

Try supporting parents in not poisoning their children, for a start?

IAmAmy · 11/04/2017 21:37

Maybe in the circles you move in.

I've not been to a single party since I was in Year 9 where there's been no alcohol present. The parents of all have been well to do types who send their children to private schools (not that I think this is a marker of "brains and class" but not exactly rebellious tearaway children).

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:41

I'm the same as Amy and I am saying that it's up to the kids to be responsible and for parents not to supply too much alcohol which it sounded like the OP didn't.
Parents buy sweets for their kids too. If they eat them all and get fat is it the parents fault too? At what point do you expect your children to start taking some responsibility for their actions?
I made lots of mistakes and turned out more then fine and a lot more successful then other kids who's parents didn't buy them wine.

Thanks to all the women on here who have said that it's ok in moderation and tried to support the OP. I am not saying it's ok to buy buckets of booze for kids but im saying it's not the parents fault if the kids take the piss and get hammered. That's all

NabobsFromNobHill · 11/04/2017 21:42

How sad for the children you know if everyone is giving them alcohol at such a young age.
It's not remotely how things work with the people I know.

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:42

nob no they aren't poisoning their children because they aren't forcing them to drink it...

NabobsFromNobHill · 11/04/2017 21:44

Parents buy sweets for their kids too. If they eat them all and get fat is it the parents fault too?

Yes, of course it is. But sweets are not alcohol, and we are talking about other peoples children, not your own. If you think its ok for your children to have alcohol then do that. But fuck off deciding for other peoples children.

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:44

Ok nob maybe it's different for you but I'm still sticking to my guns and saying that these teenagers have the choice on how much alcohol they consume. It's not like their parents are force feeding them it and turning them into the Prosecco or cava filled Fois Gras equivalent.

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:46

Its not deciding for other peoples children if you buy it. It's others peoples children deciding for themselves if they drink it.
And yes it is the kids fault if they get a fat arse.

Is it your fault if your child steals something or hurts someone? No. There is a a limit to what a parent is responsible for and provided they teach their children good values and raise them to be respectful and motivated then it is not their fault if said child is drunk or fat or any thing else same as it's not their fucking victory if the kid gets an A star at school.

IAmAmy · 11/04/2017 21:49

It's not at all remarkable or surprising that parties have alcohol at them. I'm actually surprised there are teenage parties which don't as I've never heard of one happening since I was 13. As I said earlier in the thread, the worst instance of someone out of control due to drink I've ever seen was a boy whose parents banned alcohol at his party resulting in him and his friends encouraging everyone to bring lots of drink if they could.

There's plenty of alcohol in this house. I've been with friends unsupervised here a fair few times. If my parents permit alcohol, their parents know, I'm informed which alcohol was for us and we'd not touch the other alcohol. I've never even tasted a spirit other than gin (in very weak gin and tonics) despite there being plenty here (mostly untouched for years and remnants from my parents' slightly younger days). There has never been any incident of particular drunkenness at any gathering I've had.

Annahibiscuits · 11/04/2017 21:51

The whole point of parenting is to be a responsible adult, because children don't always make the right decisions ffs.

You sound like a petulant teenager yourself tbh.

IAmAmy · 11/04/2017 21:52

People do buy sweets for other peoples' children at parties in primary school for example. My mother being a dentist would probably not have been too impressed with that, but knew it would go on. Her telling me not to eat them meant I didn't though.

Of course alcohol is more of a risk but teenagers are going to be exposed to it.

mowgeli · 11/04/2017 21:52

Ok Anna yes a petulant teenager for saying people should be responsible for themselves!!
Night then