When I was a child, I was a child. No social media, no Internet, played outside with my peers for hours on end.
When I was a pre-teen I was a child. Still no social media or Internet. I was flashed at by a man who had walked past a friend and I (we both felt uncomfortable enough about his demeanour to comment to each other about this) before positioning himself ahead of us and dropping his dungarees to expose his penis - my friend and I ran to a nearby shop to be told laughingly by a male customer that if we could raise our knees to a certain height (i.e high enough to knee someone in the balls) we shouldn't be worried.
When I was a teenager I read both 'The Joy of Sex' and 'Our Bodies Ourselves'. I felt I was the equal of anyone, male or female.
When I was 19, a male interviewer for a job insisted that I MUST have a boyfriend/was in a relationship. He repeated his assertion several times, and so I didn't get the opportunity to go and work in the USA on his observation. I didn't have a boyfriend.
At 21, I cheerfully said ' I didn't burn my bra' when I happily held a door open for a man. I still felt 'equal'.
At 25, a younger woman said to me '25 and no kids, what's wrong with you?' I was taken aback but happy with the choices I had made to date. I still felt equal.
At 26 I was stalked and sexually harassed by a colleague for a year - my (female) boss hid this and didn't report it, as I had begged her, to take my complaint higher up. The fact that my harasser was female seemed to stun everyone involved into inaction - to this day, the 'no smoke without fire' comment still hurts me.
At 27, after 9 years working in a very challenging field, I interviewed for a promoted post. The male interviewer said 'but you'll be going off to have children soon'. I didn't get the job.
At 35 I had my first child. Married, if that matters, and planned. Working full-time pre- and post mat leave. Had racked up six years without a single day sick leave/absence in this job.
At 37 I had my second child. Worked part-time after this mat leave. My job wasn't exactly 9-5 but had to be while my partner worked away from home and raced up his career ladder. I had to make up any missed working hours due to children's illnesses etc. from time to time when H was at home. Upon seeing 'TOL is working late AGAIN' text from my DH to a family member of his was my first inkling that I wasn't quite so equal as I thought I was.
At 42, after a decade of children, work, and home, I asked my abusive H to leave. Five years later I am still embroiled in Court arguments about contact - none of which I instigated, nor prevented H from spending whatever time he asked for with our children. The fact that they can spend seven days with him and don't wash/shower/bathe at all is the very least of my concerns while they are in his 'care' to be honest. The (male) Judge who backs my abusive ex to the hilt, costing me two jobs to date due to having to attend Court (six times in eight weeks most recently) will be retired or dead when the emotional cost of this fuckwittery comes home to roost for 'our' children - and there's me with professional qualifications and CPD that outrank his Judiciary gravitas and 'wisdom' in such matters.
At 44, my closest friend's Husband came on to me - we had a decade of friendship behind us. Nothing was ever said (I refused his sleazy advances) and our friendship drifted away - they're still together. I'm isolated and lack any support at all now - all because her H wanted to ejaculate.
Did I mention the menopause?...That came as a whole other shock to the system. I have become invisible.
When people campaign for men only spaces, I will be there. When people campaign for refuges for men, I will be there. When people speak of educational disparities for boys, I will be there. But don't tell me that feminism, in any form, is dead and not warranted in every aspect of life - whether that be first or third world.
I thought I was equal...how fucking wrong I was.