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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re Karen Matthews after watching the programme tonight>

193 replies

tiptoeingpixie · 06/04/2017 23:14

Before I say anything, I absolutely think what she did was disgusting, abhorrent and alien to me as a mother how she could do what she did.

After watching programme tonight I've changed my mine in that no, she wasn't evil like some have claimed, she was someone with low intellect, numerous children by various fathers, the stereotype benefit mother that the press love to villi file.

Interested in what other's who saw the programme thought x

OP posts:
Mylittlestsunshine · 07/04/2017 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dustarr73 · 07/04/2017 11:23

What she did was truly awful and unforgivable.And there is no excuse.Her having LD is not here nor there.Shes using it to garner sympathy.And some people are falling for it.
At the end of the day what she did to Shannon and her siblings is disgusting.
She had enough cop on to lie to the police and the brass neck of her asking where Shannon was and she knew all along.

The sympathy should like with her kids,not that sorry excuse for a mother

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 07/04/2017 11:28

AwaywiththePixies27 it irritates me when people are excused from responsibility for the heinous acts they commit because they're . Some people are just evil bastards.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/04/2017 11:29

I watched it, but it didn't really tell you anything that you didn't already know.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/04/2017 11:33

For a second I had a fleeting thought of. Is she more to be pitied, but Then my thoughts went back to. She's not as green as she's pea looking. She knew exactly what she was doing. She kept up the lie for over 3 weeks. Kept her daughter hidden. The poor little mite must have been terrified.
Mind you Shannon is said to be thriving so perhaps in some way it was a blessing in disguise.

rosethyme · 07/04/2017 12:04

Of course there is evil, just look at the eyes of Ian Brady, you can actually see it.

Lilyargin · 07/04/2017 12:14

I saw the programme and thought it was actually twice as long as it needed to be, and didn't say anything new; any documentary that has to show clips from a drama about the subject is not good investigative research. It was also repetitive - certain sound bites were repeated a few times - I hate that! It could have been said in half an hour, but what was really missing was any suggestions as to who these other people might be. Various people just kept suggesting there must have been others involved, and then someone else said the same thing, and then the first person said it again.
Then some Daily Mail journalists said she was evil.
Poor television.

CalmItKermitt · 07/04/2017 12:24

Oh god if it was another Julie Bushby show I'll give it a miss. That woman needs another hobby.

ApplePaltrow21 · 07/04/2017 12:28

Mumsnet really disproves the idea that women have any greater empathy than men. What it proves is that women identify with women, not with the person who is the victim.

Because many women on mumsnet are the exact mirror of men who excuse rape and DV. When many men hear about a rape, they identify with the potentially falsely accused man and they immediately start making excuses. Because they think "oh my god, I've had sex. I could be accused of rape." Women tend to identify with the potentially raped woman and believe her instead.

But when it comes to child abuse? "Feminist" women hear about a woman drugging and beating a child for months. Kids to all sorts, SS in and out of the home and they immediately identify with the mother. They think "oh my god, I'm a mum. I could have my kids taken away by SS." So they start making excuses for her.

There's no difference between that and men who excuse rape. People are weirdly desperate to excuse any act of abuse or neglect by a woman. Nothing they do to their kids is bad enough not to get sympathy from other women. It's pathetic.

hackmum · 07/04/2017 12:33

Surely having a very low IQ impacts your ability to understand moral reasoning, though? Isn't that recognised in law? She was hardly a criminal mastermind.

ApplePaltrow21 · 07/04/2017 12:37

The one potentially good side effect of the current political slide into, well, fascism is that a neofascist state is probably going to aggressively intervene in places like this. After workfare and since we are now pulling out of the ECHR, I actually think that in a few years you could see birth control and rights to IVF tied to non receipt of benefits. I'd actually vote for it.

And I think you'll no longer be able to hide behind having a learning disability to escape judgment. You either accept full responsibility for your children or they are taken away from you. Incidents like this will be a thing of the past.

dustarr73 · 07/04/2017 12:40

Moral reasoning she has no morals.She drugged that poor girl for months.She stood in front of a camera and told lies.She groomed a young teen,who became her partner.

She's not a victim,Shannon was the victim.To do that to your own flesh and blood is awful.I don't believe for a minute,she was led astray.She was probably told to play dumb and play on our heartstrings,while laughing up her sleeves at the gullible people.

It's worked,look at the people on this thread making excuses for her.

mediocremumatherbest · 07/04/2017 12:46

I watched it and I think it's obvious she wasn't fit to be a mother. It was only a matter of time before she did what she did. I don't think anyone else apart from those two were responsible, I think he's suggested it and she's been easily led by the prospect of money. I feel so sorry for Shannon that she has to live with that, but I'm also pleased that her kids are hopefully having a better life now.

mediocremumatherbest · 07/04/2017 12:48

Evil to me is cold blooded calculated killers like Lewis Daynes.
Karen Matthews clearly made some wrong decisions and paid the ultimate price. Evil? Not quite. Just incredibly stupid.

BeyondUser24601 · 07/04/2017 12:50

"actually think that in a few years you could see birth control and rights to IVF tied to non receipt of benefits. I'd actually vote for it."

Jesus. Shock

WankingMonkey · 07/04/2017 12:50

She was a greedy lazy person with low intelligence. These things together made her do evil things like drugging her child for months.

RachelRagged · 07/04/2017 12:55

I watched on catchup .

Before I saw the note with IMI or something (meaning I mean It) that Karen had left for Shannon I was thinking she was dragged into it , she isn't the brightest crayon in the box, chaotic personal life etc ...
The note changed my mind . Also the fact Shannon said she did not want to return home when she was found .

She deserves all she got . .. she done the time though and I do think people should leave her alone to get on with some kind of life .

Batgirlspants · 07/04/2017 12:55

Absolute calculating bitch and low intelligence has no excuse for her cruelty.

Amazes me how you could feel sorry for her op.

hungryhippo90 · 07/04/2017 13:05

ive not watched it, I will, BUT i know some really unintelligent people who are taken advantage of by men, but none of which who abuse their children. in my mind is one particular woman who I know, and she makes some odd decisions for her kids, but she does everything she can for her kids.

hungryhippo90 · 07/04/2017 13:10

The person I feel really sorry for is Shannon. she would be 18 now, and just as she becomes an adult, the abuse she went through becomes telly fodder every few months.

I really feel for her, poor kid.

Not only did her mother manage to completely fuck up her childhood, the very start of her adulthood is being damaged too. I cant imagine how hard it must be for her with these programmes that keep being aired, and the conversations that seem to be had by all when they come out, even more so if she was to hear people who feel somewhat sorry for the woman who was supposed to protect and love her but instead abused her

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 13:16

'Karen Matthews clearly made some wrong decisions and paid the ultimate price. '

What ultimate price? She's alive and healthy. Her kids were moved to foster care, not killed.

For someone of such low intelligence she had quite a high cunning.

ZilphasHatpin · 07/04/2017 13:46

just look at the eyes of Ian Brady, you can actually see it.

Hmm no, you actually can't.

splendide · 07/04/2017 13:48

She drugged that poor girl for months

Did she? Before she was reported missing?

ZilphasHatpin · 07/04/2017 13:51

Yes splendide I think it was around 20 months from shortly after Shannon was removed from the child protection register until she was recovered from the "kidnapping". They determined the time period from hair samples.

splendide · 07/04/2017 13:52

Jesus, I didn't know that - I don't think that was in the programme. Was she drugging all her children?