Getting child christened if your aren't religious

[Emboo19]

Maybe not so much a AIBU, more WWYD!!

Neither me or my boyfriend are religious at all, we were both christened as babies though.
When we first talked about having dd, now 6 months christened, her dad was really against it. He said as we aren't religious it's just hypocritical. I think it was more to do with how he was adjusting to being a dad though as now he's saying we can do if I want.

My grandparents and my boyfriends mum and grandparents, are both quite religious and I know would both really like our dd to be christened. They haven't overly mentioned it or pressured us to have it done, but I know they'd be really happy if we decided to do so.

And there lies my what do I do!! I feel a bit odd, (but can't put my finger on why as I have no religious beliefs) that me and him are both christened and our dd isn't. But think I'd feel hypocritical, asking for her to be christened and standing in church doing whatever it is you do at a christening (I've only ever been to my own and can't remember that!)

It's not about marking or celebrating her being born, I know there's non religious alternatives. But I'm not interested in it from that point of view.

Did anyone get their child christened and don't actually follow the religion? And if so for what reason, family believes, tradition?

Not right if you're not religious.
Can't stand going to christenings from non religious people. All they wanna do is beer it up and put pics on fb.

I think that what it is for me raspberryblue where I grew up is a smallish village and almost everything is in some way connected to the church.

I did rainbows and brownies and went to a church school, even my dance school did a show each year to raise money for the church and school.
And I have very fond memories of it all, harvest festivals, nativity plays, Easter bonnet competitions, they all took place in the church.
And I'm still involved in some of those things, I made 50+ pancakes on shrove Tuesday for the lent fundraising. I just can't/don't believe in god.

I guess it feels, in a way like I'll be excluding dd from all that, if she's not christened. Which I know is silly as she's still more than welcome to attend any of those things.

It's hypocritical and pointless if you are not religious

Maybe I'm not remembering my RE lessons very well dontbesilly but I'm pretty sure you can't be christened as a Muslim, Jew, Hindu or Sikh!

Seriously though... as I've mentioned myself and my family have links to the church I would consider having dd christened at. So it's not really I'll just choose a random pretty church, temple, mosque, synagogue!

Ollie, not at all. I may be athiest but I grew up in the church and see lots of benefit to it, community and human benefit. Although I can't understand how my DH believes what he does, I do respect it. And yes, the children will be exposed to my lack of belief too.

Willow, I'm not trying to dress anything up. Just trying to get the message across that how and what people believe is nobody's business. Even for believers its simply not their business and they should be even more clear on the fact that it is something between the individual and God, since they actually believe in God.

It's a tricky topic to discuss without belief as often to explain your non belief you need to acknowledge the existence of the concept. Which leads to misunderstanding.

I am an atheist and had my children christened.

I did it because it was important to older family members who are religious, culturally I am a Christian even though I have no religious belief and because the UK is a Christian country.

I am fairly religious and I love it when there is a Baptism at our church, regardless if we never see the family or kids ever again. Unlike weddings baptisms are free because it is also a big deal for the church, we get to welcome a new baby into our church family and that's great. I love seeing new faces in our church, all the children running around and everyone excited and wearing their best clothes. I hope and pray that maybe if we the congregation don't put them off perhaps some of the new people will return. but if they don't I am grateful they have chosen to include church and Christianity in such an important moment in their life. What I am trying to say is if you want to get you child baptised go for it, and mention your feelings or worry to the priest/vicar and see what they say. Personally I would not worry too much about having doubts or questions about faith and God, most people sitting in the congregation do too.

I agree with your partner that it's hypocritical and pointless.

It's also indoctrination.

I was baptised. I'm an atheist. I hate that my parents made that choice for me (which they also only did to appease grandparents, as neither of my parents are religious), and I had no say in the matter.

ollie Thankfully confession is not done in a confession box anymore. It's out in the open at the side of the altar now. I was brought up catholic but lapsed as a 10 year old.. Hell (haha) would freeze over before I would have my dc christened. They both attend catholic school but they don't part in the brainwashing religious teaching. Ireland has a long way to go before schools and the church are separate 😡

Because of tradition and that if she dies she'd be allowed into heaven I think worra
Catholic Church hasn't had limbo as part of its doctrine for decades.

I take back what I said about Limbo. That is what the nuns told us when I was at school, that limbo had ceased to be a belief. However, I looked it up out of interest, and apparently it is still in the Church's teachings, but with so many exclusions that it doesn't really seem overly relevant.

My husband didn't want any part in the of baptism of our children so he didn't come.
I had them baptised with my family in the same village church, I ,my father, my grandparents and my great -grandparents had been baptised in.
The vicar and church elders knew the situation but were more than welcoming.

There's that almond I know it's ultimately mine and my partners decision, but I don't see the harm in doing something that makes our grandparents and his mum happy. I know it's no longer taught that un baptised babies can't go to heaven, but my bf's grandparents are old school and I know that believe will be there, even if only slightly so!

Golden I think that's the general feel at our church too. Although people know I don't attend, they have asked when dd will be baptised, even the vicar.

She will be seen again though, as I've said we are involved in the church in other ways, I just don't go to Sunday service generally. I always go to remeberance Sunday service and crib service at Christmas, so dd has been to church twice so far.

My boyfriends said he's ok with it and would come to the service, he won't stand up in church though. I don't know if that would still be ok or not.

A record is kept by the church of all babies baptised. The church then use this information to get government funding for their religious schools. Less money in the education pot for non or multi denominational schools or schools of other religions. "Look, look how many Christians are in the country, we need a huge slice of the pie!" But that number is massively overstated because the vast majority of those babies who were baptised won't actually be raised Christian.

I'm with OkPedro, separate church and state. Religious education should take place in churches, synagogues and mosques, not schools.